We All Love Facebook
by Spaidel
Summary: The characters of The Hunger Games trilogy are all drawn to this new sensation called Facebook.
1. Introduction of some sort

**Introduction of some sort**

* * *

><p>It's been two weeks since these… things, got here. These beautiful, magnificent, incredible, amazing things.<p>

The computers.

No one in the districts knew what a computer was. The Capitol citizens knew, but not the Districts citizens. They all stared at those computers in wonder, not understanding what they were.

Those shiny items were in each district now. No one knew who brought them there, and no one cared. Everyone was too fascinated by those things.

With the computers came other things. Like websites. Lots of different, amazing websites. Like, YouTube. Google. Walla. There was also a website called Megavideo, but it shut down, to the horror of everyone.

And, of course, there was this one website called Facebook.

What a website, really. There was nothing more addictive than this website. All the citizens were drawn to it. All they wanted all day long was to change their status, upload images of them in a provocative pose to their profiles, and earn points in Farmville.

Really, Facebook was just a magnificent thing.

* * *

><p><strong>R&amp;R :)<strong>


	2. Nothing's more important than FarmVille

**Nothing more important than FarmVille**

* * *

><p>"Katniss, when will it be my turn?"<p>

"Prim go away, can't you see I'm busy?"

"But Katniss!"

"Prim!" Katniss swung around in her seat and gave her little sister a scolding look. "My crop is about to mature! I need to stay here and harvest it!"

Tears filled Prim's eyes, but Katniss was too busy earning farm cash to notice it.

"I'm telling mommy!" Prim threatened and ran out of the room crying.

Katniss leaned back in her seat and sighed. Really, younger sisters – they were just so annoying! Really, couldn't she see she was busy? Time ran out!

Katniss couldn't explain what was so addictive in it – maybe the fact that here she could earn money easily, could grow vegetables quickly and earn some more money. It was easier than real life.

Which reminded her, she had to go hunting. But the thought went quickly out of her head when the crop finally matured.

Time to harvest!

* * *

><p><strong>R&amp;R :)<strong>


	3. Peeta and Buttercup are friends

**Peeta and Buttercup are friends**

* * *

><p>Peeta was feeling rather impatient. He sent Katniss a friend request over half an hour ago, and she still didn't add him to her friends list!<p>

He checked her account over and over again. She was online, he was sure of it. Here, she just changed her status to "_just hunted a rat. Greasy Sae says she'll add it to her new soup, so beware! :)8DXD^^#1^33"_!

So why didn't she add him?

She probably just played it hard to get. Yeah, that was it. She didn't want him to know just how much she wanted him. Because, really, what was not to want in him?

Peeta looked at the screen for at least ten minutes before he shook his head and noticed a friend request. Excited, he checked who the person was.

Buttercup.

He stared at the name for a moment, remembering it was Katniss's ugly cat, before shrugging and adding him to his friends list.

His satisfied smile grew bigger as he saw his friends list growing bigger.

Now he had three friends.

And if only Katniss would hurry up and add him, he'll have four.

And so he continued watching the screen for another three hours, where the only interesting thing that happened was that Buttercup changed his status to "_Mew"_.

* * *

><p><strong>R&amp;R :)<strong>


	4. Peeta loves bread

**Peeta loves bread**

* * *

><p>Katniss was really annoyed with Peeta. After she confirmed his friend request he started nagging her all day long.<p>

Really, why didn't she just pick ignore?

She liked him, sure, but this was way too much.

Katniss groaned as she heard the sound that indicated new message. And of course, it was from Peeta.

_'Katniss, you're brighter than the bun :)'_, was written in the message.

Katniss stared at the message for a moment before sending a response.

_'Peeta, stop it. You're being too obvious in your implications.'_

Peeta's reply to that was short and annoying as hell._ 'I bread you pardon?'_

_'Stop with the bread-related words!'_, Katniss wrote back.

_'Come on, Katniss. Don't be so crusty,'_ Peeta wrote, probably thinking he was oh-so-clever.

He wasn't.

_'Peeta, stop it.'_ Man, Peeta was really getting on her last nerves.

_'But I loaf you! You're the loaf of my life!'_ Peeta wrote to her quickly. Katniss rolled her eyes. Of course the Bread Boy used the word loaf instead of love. Figures.

_'Shut up,'_ Katniss wrote back, really wanting him to stop sending her messages.

It didn't help. Apparently, Peeta had a lot more bread words to share with her. _'Come on, you know you knead me,'_ Katniss read the message out loud.

_'This is getting ridiculous,'_ Katniss wrote to him.

_'Katniss, I'm baking you, please don't get mad!'_ Peeta wrote to her.

_'Peeta, I'm this close to burn you in one of your bakery stoves,'_ Katniss wrote, meaning it.

_'Give me at yeast one more chance!'_ Peeta wrote, not able not to add the word 'yeast' to his sentence.

Katniss took a deep breath before she wrote the next message._ 'Peeta, I'll give you one more chance if you promise me not to make any more bread-related comments.'_

No message for a few minutes. Katniss actually thought the git stopped with the messages, when a new one came.

_'Crust my heart.'_

And with that, Katniss closed the chat box.

* * *

><p><strong>In case you didn't get it:<strong>

** Bun = Sun**

** Bread = Beg**

** Crumby = Crappy**

** Loaf = Love**

** Knead = Need**

** Baking = Begging**

** Yeast = Least**

** Crust = Cross**

**R&R :)**


	5. Katniss is NOT bitter!

**Katniss is NOT bitter!**

* * *

><p>Gale looked at his computer with a content look. What a beautiful, helpful invention! It was better than everything he's ever seen. It was… well, beautiful.<p>

He watched Katniss's profile page in Facebook and looked at her friends' list. Here is Greasy Sae… and Finnick Odair… and Johanna Mason… and Cato… and President Snow… and Peeta…

Wait, Peeta?

Well, this can't be, Gale thought in his head as he quickly clicked on the 'register' button. This was outrageous! Just because Gale didn't have a Facebook account didn't mean Peeta was allowed to be friends with Catnip, _his_ Catnip! This had to change. Quickly.

Gale started filling his profile with a small smile. Peeta will have a real competition now, he thought to himself as he cleverly wrote his name in the profile.

It turned out like this:

**_Gale Hawthorne Profile Page_**

_Name: Gale Hawthorne_

_Age: 18_

_Home: District Twelve, the seam._

_Current location: Next to the computer, obviously._

_Interested in: Hunting, Katniss and ruining the Capitol._

_In a relationship: Not right now, but I have a forty-eight steps plan to win Katniss's heart._

'Brilliant', Gale thought to himself as he checked for any spelling mistakes. There were none. He was very proud of himself.

Only a few moments after he made his account on Facebook, he received his first message.

Imagine his surprise and anger when he saw it was just Peeta. Stupid Peeta. Girlfriend's Taker. He hated the guy.

Peeta sent his message exactly two minutes after Gale made his new account, on November 14th, 19:37PM.

_'What do you mean by forty-eight steps plan to win Katniss's heart? She's mine! I loaf her!'_ Peeta wrote.

Gale was about to reply, but Katniss was faster than he was.

_'Peeta, what did I tell you about the bread comments?'_ was Katniss's message. To be honest, Gale didn't take much notice to the word 'loaf' when he first read Peeta's comment, but he could see it clearly now. Seemed like his Catnip just hated the Bread Boy's clever bread words.

Peeta's message was sent exactly a minute after Katniss's message, at 19:38PM.

_'That it makes you want to stick your head in the oven.'_

Again, Katniss sent him a quick reply.

_'Exactly. So just shut up and stop it!'_

Gale decided to join the conversation in that moment, it was his wall after all, and sent a message at exactly 19:39PM.

_'Yeah, Mellark. Shut up and stop it.'_

He felt really proud of himself when he saw that Katniss liked it. Yep, she loved him.

It took Peeta two whole minutes to think of a reply, but he did send one eventually.

_'Mind your own business Hawthorne.'_

Gale rolled his eyes. At least Catnip didn't like_ his_ comment…

Johanna Mason joined the conversation a minute later to express her thoughts of Peeta.

_'Oh, everyone, hide your kids, hide your mommies, because Pita is getting angry!'_

Gale snorted. Loudly. Serves Peeta right.

Peeta sent her a message not a minute later. He seemed angry.

_'It's Peeta. PEETA.'_

Johanna Mason didn't seem to care, and only sent a one-word reply. _'Whatever.'_

Gale clicked on the 'Like' button immediately. Katniss liked Johanna's comment too.

Peeta's next comment was received a minute later, at 19:45PM.

_'Katniss! Why did you like this?'_ He sounded outrageous.

Katniss didn't seem apologetic at all in her reply._ 'Sorry Peeta, but this was a like worthy comment.'_

Peeta's reply to that was short and familiar.

_'Whatever.'_

Gale rolled his eyes again. Peeta was such a dumb boy.

It took Peeta five whole minutes to send another comment. It seemed like he was insulted.

_'What? No likes for me? But this is the same comment as Johanna's!'_

Johanna replied to his comment immediately.

_'Yeah, well no one likes a copier.'_

Finnick Odair then decided to join the conversation too. Gale felt proud of himself; his profile page was formed only fifteen minutes ago or so, and already The Sex God Of Panem was writing on his Wall! This was all so very exciting for him, it took him a long while to concentrate on the conversation again. He read all the comments that were posted while he wasn't looking.

The first one was from Finnick Odair, and it was posted at 19:52PM: _'Yeah, you need to be original. *eat a sugar cube*'_

Eats a sugar cube? Did The Sex God Of Panem add an action to his comment? Apparently so.

The next comment was from Katniss, and it was received a minute after Finnick's comment.

_'You know, I never liked sugar cubes. Too sweet.'_

Finnick replied to this comment fast.

_'That's because you're a bitter girl with no taste, Katniss, sweetheart.'_

Johanna Mason liked this comment. Gale, however, did not. And apparently, Peeta didn't like this comment either, because the next comment came from him.

_'Katniss is not bitter! I mean, it's true that sometimes she's a bit grumpy. Maybe gloomy at times. Angry. Depressed. Annoyed easily. Has a serious trust issue. Never sees the good in anything. But she's most definitely not bitter!'_

Oh dear god, this boy is an idiot, Gale thought to himself as he facepalmed himself.

Finnick was next to comment, at 19:55PM.

_'Fine. She's not even the tiniest bit bitter. *Note the sarcasm*'_

Johanna's comment was next, and it was posted a minute after Finnick's comment was.

_'LOL, Matzo, you just called your girlfriend grumpy, gloomy, angry, depressed, annoyed, not trusting and always sees the bad things in life! What a brainless moron you are.'_

Gale immediately hit the 'Like' button, Peeta really was a brainless moron after all, and Finnick Odair apparently liked this comment too.

Katniss replied next, a few seconds after Johanna.

_'Yeah, Peeta, what the eff?'_

Gale knew Catnip well, and so for him, it was obvious she was annoyed with Peeta. And that was fine by him.

Peeta replied to her comment quickly, and Gale smiled to himself; no way can the Bread Boy make his last comment seem better.

_'I was defending your honor! And BTW, Johanna Mason, my name is PEETA, not Matzo. What the hell is a Matzo anyway?'_

_'Oh right. I remembered it was something bread-ish,'_ Was Johanna's reply.

Gale, Finnick and Katniss all liked her comment. Of course, Gale would always like any comment mocking Peeta's name.

Katniss replied a minute later, at 19:58PM.

_'Defending my honor? Really? I must say, you're very bad at it. And a Matzo is an unleavened bread traditionally eaten by Jews during the week-long Passover holiday. Matzo is eaten by Jews as an obligation during the Passover Seder meal; during the rest of the holiday its consumption is optional, though customary, as only unleavened bread may be eaten.'_

_'You just totally copied this paragraph from Wikipedia,'_ Finnick wrote as a response to Katniss's last comment.

_'Well, Wikipedia is here so that people could copy from it,'_ Was Katniss's short reply.

Peeta's next comment came shortly after Katniss's comment.

_'Well, at yeast I'm trying to defend your honor, unlike some people here… *cough*Gale*cough*'_

Stupid Peeta, trying to throw me under the bus, Gale thought to himself as he wrote a response to Peeta's latest comment.

_'At least I didn't call her gloomy, grumpy, angry, depressed and so on and so on. Unlike some people…'_

Both Johanna and Finnick liked his comment, which, again, made him feel very proud of himself and his clever, witty comments.

Katniss, however, didn't seem to even notice his witty comment. She was focused on something else entirely.

_'Peeta, what was that, up there, in your comment? Did I see the word yeast?'_ Was Katniss's comment.

It took Peeta five whole minutes to write a response to her comment.

_' …no,'_ Was Peeta's pathetically short reply.

Gale decided to write another witty comment that will be both amusing and smart.

_'Yeah, I see it! Ha, now you're screw, Peeta :P'_

Gale looked at his comment, content. Yes, the smile at the end was a nice touch.

Katniss sent a quick comment.

_'STOP WITH THE BREAD COMMENTS!'_

Man, she sounded angry, Gale thought to himself as Finnick posted on his wall yet another comment.

_'Oh no. She used Caps Lock. Better watch it, Matzo.'_

Peeta ignored Finnick's comment, and instead focused on Katniss's.

_'Katniss, I'm sorry! I just can't help it! Really, I'm kneeling on the flour here, begging you to forgive me!'_

What a moron.

A few long minutes of no-comment passed, until Peeta wrote a small, questioning word. _'Katniss?'_

Gale was pleased to see that Katniss has left the conversation. Yep, she was mad at the Bread Boy.

He decided to show Peeta how pleased he was.

_'LOL, way to go Matzo!'_

Peeta's reply was short and to the point:_ 'Humph.'_

And with that, Gale leaned backwards in his chair and closed the website.

* * *

><p><strong>So, I need to change this fanfic, to fit the rules of Fanfiction. This means that there will be no new chapter for a while. I need to rewrite the 30 or so chapters first, so, be patient with me!<strong>

**I hope the change is not too bad. I liked it better as a chat format, I think it was easier to read, but I don't think this is too bad. Maybe ruining the story a bit, but not TOO bad. Right?**

**So, I'm going to slowly add the chapters I fixed. You can still review the chapters, even if you read them already before I changed them, because, let's face it, I love reviews, and I'd love to see what you think of this fic not in a chat format.**

**Hope you all have a lovely day :)**


	6. Effie Trinket is NOT over thirty!

**Effie Trinket is NOT over thirty!**

* * *

><p>Effie Trinket skipped excitedly to her pink, sparkly computer, oh god she missed it so much, and sat down in a chair in front of it.<p>

She immediately logged into Facebook. She wasn't on Facebook for thirty minutes. THIRTY WHOLE MINUTES. That was enough to practically drive her insane.

She looked at her details and smiled. Oh, she was so clever, the way she didn't reveal her real age!

**_Effie Trinket Profile Page_**

_Name: Effie Trinket *smile butterfly heart*_

_Age: ...not over thirty, that's for sure! *laugh uncomfortably*_

_Home: The most fantabulous place in the world – The Capitol._

_Current location: My beautiful home._

_Interested in: Shopping, partying, The Hunger Games, Squeaking._

_In a relationship: Never! I prefer short flings :) Which reminds me, Finnick Odair, if you read it – call me ^^_

Yep, she was clever all right.

She looked at her Wall to see if anyone sent her anything. Yep, one person sent her a comment, Gale was his name, on November 25th at 16:38PM.

_'The Capitol is not fantabulous! It's a horrible, horrible place, and in there are leaving horrible, horrible people! I hate you, I hate you all!'_

Effie looked at his comment for a whole minute before sending a reply.

_'…who are you again?'_

It didn't take long for this Gale person to send her another comment.

_'I'm Gale Hawthorne! Katniss's best friend whom she's secretly yet passionately in love with!'_

Peeta Mellark joined the conversation immediately.

_'You mean, Katniss's COUSIN whom she's not in loaf with because that would be gross.'_

Gale's reply to that was a short, _'Whatever.'_

Katniss Everdeen then wrote a comment on Effie's Wall. Effie actually got excited about it, she thought The Mockingjay actually wanted to talk to _her_, but _no_. She was just talking to Gale, her cousin/lover.

_'What do you mean, secretly yet passionately in love with? I'm not in love with you!'_

Peeta was quick to respond.

_'Yeah, that's right! You tell him Catnip!'_

This comment, apparently, made this Gale guy really annoyed.

_'Dude! You just stole my nickname for her! Not cool, man, not cool!'_

Effie snorted loudly, which wasn't very lady-like but oh well. She just had to snort. Calling Peeta 'man' and 'dude' was just too much.

Peeta sent a quick reply to Gale which, again, showed Effie just how the names 'man' and 'dude' were just unfitting while describing or talking to Peeta.

_'Oops. Sorry :)'_

Two minutes later, someone finally sent a message to Effie. And it wasn't what she expected for or what she wanted to see.

_'Not over thirty my ass.'_

Effie looked at Haymitch's comment for a long time, not even fully realizing that Katniss, Peeta and Gale all 'Liked' this horrible, awful, NOT TRUE comment, then sent a response.

_'Of course I'm not over thirty! You're being ridiculous Haymitch! Just shut up and get out of my page.'_

Haymitch's next comment was received one minute later, at 16:45PM.

_'Naah, I think I'll stick around for just a short while. Let's see what else did you write up there… you love to squeak? Really?'_

Effie frowned at the computer, though she knew Haymitch won't actually be able to see her frown. Stupid git.

_'It's a nice way to express myself,'_ Was her short response to Haymitch's stupid comment.

_'As what? A bird?'_ Was Haymitch oh-so-clever response.

Effie looked as, again, Katniss, Peeta and Gale liked Haymitch's comment, those stupid people, but then her eyes lit up when she saw another person, an important person, a _hot_ person, liking Haymitch's comment, too.

Finnick Odair.

Effie wrote to him as fast as she could, trying to look excited yet collected and cool. Unreachable, even.

_'OMG! Finnick Odair! Oh I can't believe you're in my user page! Oh, I think I'm going to die from excitement!'_

Haymitch's next comment was an unpleasant one, but this was Haymitch after all. He was a douche._ 'Thank god,'_ Was his short comment.

Effie decided to ignore it.

Finnick Odair was the next to comment, which Effie was very excited about.

_'Effie, sweetie, you do realize I'm in love with Annie? We're married, you know. You must've read about it in the third book.'_

Effie nodded her head solemnly. Yep, she read the third book. She had to take four vomiting pills in order to make her feel better.

Great. And now she was hungry.

_'Yeah, I didn't like the third book. I especially disliked your death :('_

Finnick's response was a bitter, _'Yeah, I wasn't that crazy about it either.'_

Effie immediately 'Liked' Finnick's comment. She wasn't the only one. Katniss, Peeta, Gale, Haymitch (Effie frowned when she saw the stupid man's horrible name), Annie and President Snow liked it too.

Wait, President Snow?

She was very surprised by that. Finnick, however, seemed more surprised about something else entirely.

_'Annie! You learned how to get into Facebook!'_

At least Katniss had the senses to ask the real, most bothering question of them all.

_'President Snow? What are you doing here?'_

President Snow replied quickly, and his reply surprised Effie. A lot.

_'I like to stay in touch with the younger generation. You know, to stay "cool", as you kids call it.'_

It apparently surprised Annie Cresta too, because she replied to President Snow's comment in a shocked smile.

_'O.O'_

_'O.O Indeed,'_ Haybitch (Yep. Haybitch.) agreed with her.

President Snow's next comment was at 16:54PM.

_'So… 'sup, dawgs?'_

Effie rolled her eyes. He was trying too hard.

Katniss didn't seem to mind it, but another thing occupied her mind.

_'What the hell is a dawg?'_

Annie Cresta wrote the next comment.

_'Isn't it this beautiful time when the sun comes and the darkness leaves?'_

_'No, Annie, sweetie. That's a dawn,'_ Finnick replied to her patiently.

President Snow decided to enlighten Katniss.

_'The word Dawg is a cooler way to say the word dog. It's slang – all the cool people say it! I found it on The Online Slang Dictionary.'_

Effie looked at the computer for a very long time before Gale finally had the senses to write something in respond to President Snow's comment.

_'You're stupid. You're not cool. Everyone hates you.'_

Effie wasn't the only one who liked this comment; Katniss, Peeta, Haymitch and Finnick all liked it too.

_'That was mean,'_ Was President Snow's reply to that.

Katniss's reply to that came a minute later.

_'Well, you deserve it. You are an evil, evil man, with a horrible smell and a creepy smile. And you just called us all dogs.'_

_'In slang it means friends. Jeez, Katniss, you are so out of date,'_ President Snow wrote. Effie had to agree with him on that one; Katniss really was out of date. So, _so_ out of date.

And this was all getting very ridiculous. It was already 17:05PM, and she barely participated in this conversation. And it was _her_ Wall! This had to change. Quickly.

_'You know, I really don't like it that you make your little conversation on my wall, while I'm not having a part in it! So, all of you, LEAVE! Except for you, Finnick *batting eyelashes seductively*'_

She expected them to leave after that. She really did.

President Snow, however, wanted to write to her one more thing.

_'Really, Effie? Not over thirty? LOL!'_

And with that, Effie blocked everyone, President Snow, Katniss, Gale, Peeta, Haymitch and Annie, from posting on her Wall.

Well, not everyone.

'So, Finnick, hon... It seems like it's just you and me now :)' Effie wrote seductively.

Next thing she knew, Finnick Odair left the conversation.

And all Effie could do was frown.

* * *

><p><strong>If you don't know why there are only six chapters now, look at Chapter Five Author's Note.<strong>

**Have a lovely day :)**


	7. Buttercup is better as dinner

**Buttercup is better as dinner**

* * *

><p>Prim looked at her beautiful, amazing, anything but ugly cat lovingly. Oh, he was just so special, so… so great. She loved him dearly.<p>

Another thing she loved dearly was Facebook. It was awesome. She loved typing things in the computer.

Oh typing, typing, typing.

_**Primrose Everdeen Profile Page**_

_Name: Primrose Everdeen._

_Age: 12 :)_

_Home: District Twelve – The Seam._

_Current location: Next to Buttercup *heart*_

_Interested in: Healing, smiling, caring and loving :)_

_In a relationship: Twelve year old, guys…_

Typing, typing, typing.

Primrose Everdeen just loved it when people knew exactly what she was thinking at each given moment. Which meant, she loved Facebook, because this creation just made it easier for everyone to know everything about everyone.

Absolutely fantastic.

Primrose looked at the beautiful Buttercup one more time before writing what was on her mind, on November 29th 17:29PM.

_'Buttercup is the best cat in the whole wide world! *a drawing of a heart*'_

Three minutes later, Katniss, her oh-so-dear sister wrote on her Wall.

_'Yeah, but I still think it could've been better as dinner.'_

Gasp! What?

Primrose decided to let Katniss know how outrageous her comment really was.

_'Katniss! Buttercup is not an it, he's an he! And I told you over and over again, you don't eat your pets!'_

Katniss's next message was sent at 17:33PM, one minute later.

_'But this Buttercup of yours is a walking meat, and we're hungry. It's a waste.'_

_'He's right next to me, you know. You're hurting his feelings.'_ Couldn't Katniss see just how awful she was being towards the beautiful Buttercup? Jeez!

Stupid Haymitch sent the next comment.

_'Cats can't read.'_

Primrose Everdeen rolled her eyes. Oh, stupid Haymitch and his stupid comments.

_'He's a very smart cat.'_

Katniss's next comment was received at 17:37PM.

_'Please! Only yesterday I saw him hissing at his own reflection!'_

Before Prim could respond to her oh-not-so-dear sister's comment, Peeta sent a comment.

_'LOL! Katniss, you're so funny, I LOVE you!'_

The Bread Boy actually said the word Love. Hmm. He was trying really hard to impress Katniss.

Cato The Sexy Beast thought the same.

_'Being a bit needy there, Lover Boy?'_

_'Just expressing my love for her *heart*'_ Peeta sent in response to Cato The Sexy Beast's comment.

What the duck is a sexy beast?

_'What is a "Sexy Beast"?'_ Primrose Everdeen decided she really wanted to know what it was.

Katniss Everdeen didn't want to deliver her answers though.

_'Oh god, Cato, change your username immediately! Prim is only twelve year old!'_

Prim frowned.

_'No can do, babe.'_ Cato The Sexy Beast sent at 17:44PM.

A few seconds later, Katniss sent,_ 'And why is that?'_

Cato The Sexy Beast wrote a quick answer.

_'Suzanne Collins never revealed my last name, and I don't want to be called just "Cato". I decided to at least be creative with my username.'_

Johanna Mason then decided to join the conversation.

_'I actually quite like the name. Suits you :)'_

_'A compliment from Johanna Mason? That's a first.'_ Stupid Haymitch wrote.

Well, Stupid Haymitch was right. Prim hit the Like button, and so did Katniss, Peeta and Cato The Sexy Beast.

_'What can I say? He is a sexy beast *wink*'_ Johanna Mason sent.

Well, this was making Primrose Everdeen feel rather uncomfortable.

Katniss was the next one to send a comment, thank god.

_'Must you write these things on a wall of a twelve year old girl that, for some reason, still have a very innocent mind?'_

Before Prim could reply to that, Rue did.

_'Hey Katniss :)'_

_'And now Rue's here, too? Prim, block Cato and Johanna now.'_ Katniss sent.

Prim bit her lip and looked at the computer screen with an uncertain look.

_'Oh, I don't know Katniss… I don't want to seem rude.'_ She wrote.

_'I don't understand how the two of you can be relatives.'_ Haymitch replied to that.

Cato The Sexy Beast and Johanna Mason Liked this.

Buttercup, who up until now was making his way slowly but surely to Primrose Everdeen's lap, suddenly went nuts. It took Primrose a pretty long while to calm the beautiful cat down, and when she did she saw there were a few new messages received.

The first one came actually from her, or, more accurately, from Buttercup.

_'Irh ;3495u vqiouj4iupqu[405 4tle#fmw1'_

_'?'_ Katniss sent in response.

Peeta Mellark, the smart boy that he was, sent the next message.

_'Oh! Are we playing the game where we need to find a word inside of a messed up line? Okay, I'll try first! …Pqu…vqiou…fmw…?'_

Primrose Everdeen decided it was time to write a response.

_'It's not a game, Peeta; Buttercup just went nuts for a bit. I think he finally understood what Katniss suggested at the beginning of the conversation.'_

The next comment came from the oh-so-unpleasant Katniss, and was the one that made Prim, sweet, pure little Prim, shake with anger.

_'It's a useless cat. If it'd be our lunch then it won't be as useless…'_

And, in a hit of a button, a short message appeared:

_**'Primrose Everdeen Activity:** Katniss Everdeen has been blocked from posting on the wall of **Primrose Everdeen**.'_

Johanna Mason's comment was received at 18:08PM.

_'Ha! Katniss was just blocked from posting on her dear sister's wall! How lame is she!'_

Cato The Sexy Beast and Haymitch Abernathy Liked this.

It seemed like Buttercup liked this too.

* * *

><p><strong>I think I'll upload this story (when it was in chat format) on a different website, though I'll keep updating this story here on Fanfiction. I just prefer it the way it was then. So when I'll upload the story to another website, I'll put the link in my profile.<strong>

**Have a lovely day :)**


	8. Thresh and Katniss falling off a tree

**Thresh and Katniss falling off a tree**

* * *

><p>Katniss ran to her computer, throwing the rat she just haunted on the floor in the process and frowning as she saw the rat's blood that stained the floor underneath it. Oh well. Mom will understand. Or not. Whatever.<p>

She logged into Facebook quickly, she wasn't on Facebook for one full hour after all and who knew what happened while she was hunting with Gale outside, and smiled as she saw the alerts she had.

She checked everything, wrote a sophisticated new status update ("_Me and Buttercup are inseparable. Sometimes, it takes three or four people to pull us apart LOLOLOL XD_") and rolled her eyes at the new profile picture of a shirtless Finnick Odair.

She then turned to look at her Wall, her precious, incredible Wall. There was no Wall prettier than her Wall, that was for sure.

_**Katniss Everdeen Profile Page**_

_Name: Katniss Everdeen._

_Age: 17_

_Home: District Twelve – The Seam._

_Current location: Next to a dead rat._

_Interested in: Hunting, hunting, hunting!_

_In a relationship: No, I like being single. So, Peeta, Gale, STOP HARASSING ME! I DON'T LOVE YOU!_

Yep, her Wall was the best.

There was indeed a new message on her Wall. She rolled her eyes when she saw who this message was from.

Peeta Mellark, December 2nd 14:09PM.

_'Oh Katniss loaf, stop lying to yourself. Of course you loaf me!'_

He and his stupid bread sentences. She wrote him a short answer.

_'No. I really don't.'_

Gale posted on her Wall next.

_'That's right, Peeta. She doesn't love you. Why would she love you when she has ME as a friend, and possibly more?'_

Sigh.

_'I don't love you either,'_ Katniss wrote to the stupid Gale. Really, can't a boy and a girl just be friends? Jeez!

Rue sent the next comment, at 14:14PM.

_'Ah it's so cool! I posted a comment at 14:14!'_

A minute later, Johanna Mason wrote a response to that.

_'We are all so very proud of you. Such an achievement.'_

The sarcasm was clear in the comment, and Katniss was fuming. How _dare_ this horrible girl mock Rue?

_'Don't you EVER mock Rue. She's better than you'll ever be!'_ Katniss wrote.

Peeta Mellark, Gale Hawthorne and President Snow Liked her comment.

_'Snow? Really? You liked this?'_ The horrible Johanna Mason wrote.

_'What can I do? Rue is adorable :)'_ President Snow wrote in response.

Yes, Katniss nodded to herself, agreeing with President Snow on this one. Yes she was.

Johanna Mason posted the next comment, which was a rather short one.

_'Humph.'_

The next comment made Katniss's heart leap.

_'Katniss is right. Don't ever mock Rue, because if you will… I will hunt you down, and kick your ass,'_ was Thresh's comment.

AHH! OMG, Thresh. OMG, he agreed with her. OMG, THRESH WAS COMMENTING ON HER WALL!

Peeta Mellark sent the next comment.

_'OMG, you totally took that line from Friends, The One with Chandler and Monica's Wedding part 1! I loaf this episode!'_

Katniss couldn't help it and wrote a response to Thresh's comment.

_'Thresh! OMG, you're in my profile page, I can't… OK, deep breaths, deep breaths… I just can't believe you're here!'_

_'What's with the enthusiasm, Catnip?'_ Gale wrote.

_'Nothing, just… can't believe he's here, is all.'_ Katniss wrote back, hoping that they didn't realize she had a crush on Thresh.

_'I think you LOAF him!'_ Johanna Mason wrote.

Damn.

_'I DO NOT!'_ Katniss wrote, trying to smoothly show people she didn't like Thresh like that.

Johanna Mason sent the next comment at 14:32PM.

_'Katniss and Thresh sitting in a tree, K-I-S-S-I-N-G!'_

This made Katniss feel quite uncomfortable. Oh god, Thresh probably didn't feel the same way, and he'd probably wouldn't want to be with her, and this talk will make him stay away from her and her stupid crush on him…

_'Stop it, Johanna! I don't love him!_' She wrote quickly.

_'Yeah, stop it Johanna, she doesn't loaf him!'_ Peeta wrote a few seconds after her. The boy finally wrote something that wasn't stupid. It was about time.

Johanna Mason continued with the song, because, apparently, it wasn't over just yet.

_'…the lumberjack came, cut off the tree, the lovers fell and that was it!'_

President Snow, Gale Hawthorne and Finnick Odair all liked this.

Katniss raised an eyebrow at that.

_'What the hell was that ending?'_ She wrote.

_'Just a regular song from District Seven.'_ Johanna wrote back.

_'District Seven is a very sick place.'_ Gale wrote. Katniss nodded her head, agreeing with her best friend. She, Peeta and President Snow all liked this comment.

_'Yeah, because District Twelve is a paradise.'_ The horrible Johanna Mason wrote back. Finnick and President Snow liked this.

Rue's next comment was received at 14:41PM.

_'Lol! 14:41! Katniss, I think you and Thresh can make a really cute couple! Forget Team Peeta and Team Gale, I'm Team Thresh!'_

Finnick Odair, President Snow and Johanna Mason liked this.

Katniss felt the need to defend herself.

_'Rue! I do not like Thresh! Really, so what if he's the most honorable, amazing, smartest and hottest person I've ever seen! It doesn't mean I love him!'_

_'Hey! Thresh is not hotter than me!'_ Finnick Odair wrote, insulted apparently.

Johanna Mason, President Snow, Peeta Mellark and Rue all liked this.

President Snow's comment was received at 14:46PM.

_'Lol, Thresh didn't even try to make Katniss love him, but she does! The sneaking bastard ;)'_

_'How many times does she need to tell you, she DOESN'T LOAF THRESH! IT IS ME SHE WANTS!'_ Peeta wrote, apparently frustrated.

Stupid Peeta.

_'I really hate it when people start meddling with my love life.'_ Katniss wrote.

_'Did you just call me bastard? *glares*'_ Thresh sent in response to what President Snow wrote two comments earlier.

It took President Snow five whole minutes to write a response.

_'…no! Of course no! I just… oh, look at the time! I have to go do some... presidential things!'_

The next message that appeared was: _**'President Snow** has left the conversation.'_

Thresh's last comment was short and to the point.

_'Humph.'_

* * *

><p><strong>Hope you all have a loafly day :)<strong>

**BTW, over 900 reviews! :D So happy!**


	9. Cato is not the only sexy beast around

**Cato is not the only sexy beast around**

* * *

><p>Maya Normousbutt had a big problem; she was obsessed with watching and learning about other people's lives. Not to say that she meddled in other people's lives, no.<p>

She just watched.

She never said anything; no one knew who she was, no one knew of her existence. But she knew everything.

What she loved most was looking at those famous, amazing people that she adored that were related in one way or another to her favorite reality show ever.

_The Hunger Games._

It was tricky, to get everyone to be friends with her on Facebook, but she succeeded. First, she asked Peeta to be her friend. He confirmed her request two seconds after she sent it, so it was quite easy. Then she befriended Buttercup, who was on Peeta's friends list. Then Prim. Then Katniss. And from there, she befriended them all.

It took some time, but it all paid off. Now she could see what everyone wrote on their Walls.

It was awesome.

She noticed that someone posted on Clove's Wall, so she went there and checked.

_**Clove's Profile Page**_

_Name: Clove… something._

_Age: 17_

_Home: District Two, and proud of it!_

_Current location: Next to a rock._

_Interested in: Fighting, killing, Cato and winning!_

_In a relationship: Not currently. Am investigating Cato's feelings for me._

The person who wrote on Clove's Wall was Effie Trinket, on December 16 at 21:03PM.

_'Party in the Capitol! Party in the Capitol! And YOU, Clove deary, are invited! There'll be lots of food and lots of vomiting pills! It's going to be F-u-n!'_

Maya Normousbutt frowned. No one told her about this party…

_'Is Cato invited?'_ Was Clove's response to that.

Cato The Sexy Beast wrote her a quick response.

_'Of course I'm invited, love! *wink wink*'_

Oh, Cato and Clove. To be honest, they weren't her favorite couple, but oh well. She was just a watcher, not a meddler.

_'Then I'll be there!'_ Clove wrote, apparently deciding that if Cato The Sexy Beast will be there, then it's good enough for her.

President Snow The Sexy Beast wrote a comment at 21:08PM.

_'That's so great hon! You'll have a blast! :P'_

Maya Normousbutt raised her eyebrows at President Snow's name. It seemed awfully familiar…

Oh right. Cato The Sexy Beast.

Haymitch Abernathy noticed President Snow's new name too.

_'Oh, dear lord. Did you really change your name to President Snow The Sexy Beast?'_

_'I wanted to have a cool username, like Cato!'_ President Snow The Sexy Beast explained.

It took Cato The Sexy Beast a few minutes to write a new response to President Snow The Sexy Beast's new name.

_'Yeah, I think I'm going to change my username now. And maybe drown myself afterwards.'_

Maya Normousbutt snorted loudly. Luckily, no one lived with her, so no one heard the awful snort. Yep, she was still single, despite her being 27.

Okay, 30.

Fine!

52.

She looked at the computer screen again, and saw that Haymitch Abernathy, Effie Trinket, President Snow The Sexy Beast, Clove and Johanna Mason all liked Cato's comment.

_'LOL, Cato! You're so FUNNY! XD'_ President Snow The Sexy Beast wrote.

_'I wasn't kidding.'_ Cato The Sexy Beast wrote in response.

_'Oh, you don't want to drown yourself. It's not a nice feeling. Trust me.'_ Annie wrote, sounding serious.

_'Yeah, and it would also be a waste to the world.'_ Johanna Mason wrote.

Maya Normousbutt agreed with her. Cato was hot, after all. Clove, Cato The Sexy Beast and President Snow The Sexy Beast all liked this comment. Maya Normousbutt smiled when she saw President Snow The Sexy Beast and Cato The Sexy Beast's names next to each other. Oh, it was just so funny.

Cato The Sexy Beast didn't think so apparently.

_'Yeah, I'm going to change my username RIGHT NOW.'_

The next message that appeared was:_ '**Cato The Sexy Beast** has left the conversation.'_

_'Oh, Cato. Isn't he cute? *wiggle eyebrows at Clove, Johanna, Haymitch, Effie and Annie.*'_ President Snow The Sexy Beast wrote. God, he sounded like an obsessed 15 year old girl.

Clove was, apparently, pissed at President Snow The Sexy Beast.

_'You just drove him away! You bring destruction to everywhere you go! Die in hell, President Snow!'_

_'That was rude, sweetie. Jeez, women these days. So annoyingly unpleasant.'_ President snow The Sexy Beast wrote in response.

_'Why there's no dislike button? Was the inventor of Facebook so fucking brainless he forgot to put a dislike button?'_ Johanna Mason wrote.

_'I think he didn't put a dislike button so that there'll be less hate in Facebook. It's sweet, actually, the way he wants everyone to get along :)'_ Annie Cresta wrote. Oh, Annie. She was so sweet!

_'I think it's stupid.'_ Wrote the not-sweet-at-all Haymitch.

Johanna Mason and Clove both liked his comment.

_'I'm back!'_ Cato The Sexy Buffalo declared.

Cato The Sexy Buffalo?

Oh dear.

Haymitch apparently agreed with Maya Normousbutt.

_'Sexy Buffalo? Really?'_

_'A buffalo is a beast! My username is now the same, yet different, you see?'_ Cato The Sexy Buffalo wrote.

_'How clever.'_ Haymitch Abernathy wrote in response.

Maya Normousbutt snorted again (thank god she was single and no one heard her) and Annie Cresta, Johanna Mason and President Snow The Sexy Beast liked this. (Not the snort. Haymitch's comment.)

President Snow The Sexy Beast apparently didn't realize Haymitch was being his sarcastic normal self, and took his comment seriously.

_'So clever! In fact, I'm going to change my username ASAP!'_ President Snow The Sexy Beast wrote, then left the conversation.

_'Oh, fuck me.'_ Cato The Sexy Buffalo wrote.

_'Okay!'_ Clove, thinking he was actually meaning it, wrote immediately.

_'You know I didn't actually mean THIS, right, sweetie? Though if you want to, I won't mind *wiggle eyebrows*'_ Cato The Sexy Buffalo wrote in response.

*gag*. That was gross.

_'I suddenly feel very uncomfortable with this conversation.'_ The sweet Annie Cresta wrote.

Maya Normousbutt nodded her head, agreeing with Annie Cresta.

_'Hey dawgs! 'Sup, Cato! *high five*'_ Wrote President Snow The…

Oh god.

*snort snort snort snort snort snort snort*

President Snow The Sexy Rooster.

His name was officially worse than Maya Normousbutt's name. And that said something.

Cato The Sexy Buffalo ended this conversation with a small, sweet comment.

_'Kill me. Kill me now.'_

* * *

><p><strong>Okay, so I decided to invent this Capitol woman, Maya Normousbutt, so that some of the chapters will be from her POV. It makes it easier on me to write it this way. And I think she's awesome :)<strong>

**_KatnissFacebook-_ I still didn't upload the whole story in a chat format to another website. When I will, I will put the link on my profile. Sorry, it will probably take some more time for me to upload it. I'm just lazy like that.**

**Hope you all have a lovely day! :D**


	10. Annie Cresta is going to hell

**Annie Cresta is going to hell**

* * *

><p>Running a hand through his beautiful bronze hair, Finnick Odair smiled at his reflection. He wasn't vain for doing it, no, of course not. He was just too sexy not to stare at his reflection all day long. And that was understandable.<p>

He lost track of time; he looked at himself for far too long. And so, after five straight hours of just watching himself, he remembered he had to harvest his crop.

Oh, Farmville. It was just SO demanding!

After he harvested his crop, he decided to check his Wall.

**_Finnick Odair Profile Page_**

_Name: Finnick Odair, but you can all call me "The sex god of panem"._

_Age: 24._

_Home: District Four._

_Current location: In front of a mirror._

_Interested in: Swimming, using my trident, tying knots, taking my shirt off, winking, smirking, and being irresistibly beautiful._

_In a relationship: Yes. Yes I am. Annie, you are the love of my life! *heart*_

There was, indeed, a new comment on his Wall. And it was actually from his second favorite person in the whole world – him being his favorite person, of course – Annie.

She posted her comment on January 12 at 15:42PM:

_'Finnick? Are you there? Why can't I see you?'_

Finnick smiled to himself and shook his head affectionately.

_'Because it's a computer, Annie, sweetie. But no worry; if you miss my handsome face and rockin' body, you can go and check the photos in my profile.'_ He wrote in response.

_'Okay, I'll try to find them.'_ Was Annie's response.

Johanna Mason then decided to join the conversation.

_'Why don't I find it hard to believe you're staring at your reflection right now?'_

Oh, Johanna.

_'Because I'm too handsome not to.'_ Finnick wrote, smiling his beautiful lopsided grin.

His smile grew bigger when he saw that Effie Trinket, Annie Cresta, Peeta Mellark and President Snow The Sexy Rooster liked his comment.

_'It's quite sad, that two guys liked this.'_ Johanna Mason commented.

_'Well, when he's right, he's right.'_ Peeta wrote in response. Finnick nodded his head in agreement.

_'Finnick? How come you're shirtless in all of your pictures?'_ Annie, the love of his life, wrote.

_'Just showing off what I've got.'_ Finnick wrote with a shrug, then turned to look at the mirror again. He exhaled loudly the breath he didn't realize he was holding. Everything was okay – he was still hot.

Oh thank god!

He turned to look back at his Wall, and saw that Effie Trinket posted a new comment.

_'And rightly so.'_ Was Effie's Comment. Finnick nodded his head again.

President Snow The Sexy Rooster liked her comment.

Katniss Everdeen then joined the conversation.

_'Ahh, Snow, why did you change your username into 'President Snow The Sexy Rooster'?'_ Was her comment. To be honest, Finnick didn't realize until now that President Snow changed his username, but now he did.

And why the hell did he use the animal 'Rooster' to describe himself?

Weird.

_'Oh, it's just this silly little game between me and Cato. You wouldn't understand.'_ President Snow The Sexy Rooster wrote in response.

_'I don't think I want to understand.'_ Katniss replied.

Finnick Odair liked this, and so did Johanna Mason, Effie Trinket and Peeta Mellark.

Katniss Everdeen quickly posted her next and last comment.

_'Oh, fuck, Peeta's here? I-I have to go!'_

The next message that was shown was: '_**Katniss Everdeen** has left the conversation.'_

Peeta Mellark's next comment was posted at 15:59PM.

_'Oh, isn't she adorable? She doesn't want to be around me because she doesn't understand her growing feelings for me!'_

_'Yeah, that's why she doesn't want to be around you. Because she likes you too much.'_ Was Johanna Mason's sarcastic reply.

Finnick Odair liked it immediately, oh he just loved Johanna's sarcasm, and Effie Trinket and President Snow The Sexy Rooster liked it as well.

And then a new message from an unknown person, who named himself (herself, more accurately) _'An Angry Capitol Woman'_, appeared:

_'ROT IN HELL, ANNIE CRESTA! FINNICK IS MINE!'_

GASP! BITCH!

No one would tell Finnick Odair's wife to rot in hell!

_'Jeez, woman, no need to use Caps Lock.'_ Johanna Mason wrote.

Finnick was in the middle of writing a comment himself.

_'DON'T YOU DARE SPEAK TO ANNIE LIKE THAT!'_ Finnick Odair, The Sex God Of Panem, wrote angrily.

_'But I don't want to be in hell! *sob sob*'_ Annie wrote, sounding scared.

Oh, fuck.

_'Great. Now look at what you've done, An Angry Capitol Woman!'_ Finnick wrote, annoyed.

He waited for six minutes, but An Angry Capitol Woman didn't write anything in response.

And this was getting The Great Finnick Odair even more annoyed.

_'An Angry Capitol Woman? An Angry Capitol Woman!'_ He wrote, fuming.

The next message that appeared was:_** 'An Angry Capitol Woman** has left the conversation.'_

Bitch.

Finnick decided to show how much he disliked An Angry Capitol Woman by posting a comment that said,_ '*Showing rude hand gestures at the computer screen*'_

_'Annie, deary, that's what you get for marrying The Sex God Of Panem.'_ Effie Trinket wrote.

_'*sob sob*'_ Annie wrote in response.

Oh, his poor baby!

_'Annie, you're not going to hell!'_ Finnick wrote, trying desperately to make her feel better.

_'*sob sob*'_ Was Annie's response to that.

_'Now it'll take me forever to make her feel better!'_ Finnick wrote, angry at An Angry Capitol Woman and the mess she made.

_'Annie, just look at some of Finnick's pictures. I always find it relaxing when I'm upset or troubled.'_ President Snow The Sexy Rooster wrote, trying to make Annie feel better.

Problem is, it made Finnick feel a whole lot worse.

That was… creepy. Oh god, that was creeping The Sex God Of Panem out!

No one posted anything for eight whole minutes.

At the end, President Snow The Sexy Rooster posted a one word comment:

_'What?'_

And with that, Finnick pressed the small button that made a message appear on the screen:

_'**Finnick Odair Activity:** President Snow The Sexy Rooster has been blocked from posting on the wall of **Finnick Odair**.'_

* * *

><p><strong>Yay, chapter ten! Only twenty more chapters to go, and then I'll be able to write some new chapters, with new conversations!<strong>

**YAY YAY YAY YAY YAY!**

**BTW, I'm SO happy to see that you liked Maya Normousbutt! I love her too. I think most of the chapters will be from her point of view, so that's good that you liked her.**

**Have a lovely day :)**


	11. Greasy Sae needs to shave

**Greasy Sae needs to shave**

*In case you don't remember, Chaff is one of Haymitch's best friends and was one of the tributes in the 75th Hunger Games*

* * *

><p>Maya Normousbutt sighed heavily as she returned home from shopping. She didn't mean to spend so much money – all she wanted was a pink body spray, 3 contact lenses, 6 pairs of shoes, 27 dresses and a hairband. But instead, she bought a pink body spray, 3 contact lenses, 6 pairs of shoes, 27 dresses, a hairband and a <em>doughnut<em>!

Tsk tsk. Next time she wouldn't surrender to her unstoppable, outrageous needs.

She shouldn't have bought that stupid doughnut.

Maya Normousbutt sat down in front of the computer. She ran a hand through her green hair and huffed loudly.

This day was the worst day of her life. Why, oh _why_ did Scott Buttreeks have to see her eating that stupid doughnut?

The stupid man that she loathed yet secretly fantasized about smirked smugly when he saw her eating the fattening treat.

"My my, Maya Normousbutt, if your name didn't already fit the way you look, it will now."

Ugh. Stupid Scott Buttreeks.

Stupid, extremely hot Scott Buttreeks.

humph.

After Maya Normousbutt's encounter with Scott Buttreeks, she ran to the bathroom and cried.

A lot.

Stupid doughnut and stupid Scott Buttreeks.

Maya Normousbutt logged into Facebook and saw that Haymitch Abernathy was online. He was most of the time offline, so when he was online, she always checked his Wall. He was entertaining.

**_Haymitch Abernathy Profile Page_**

_Name: Can't remember._

_Age: Have no idea._

_Home: Somewhere in North America._

_Current location: In a dumpster._

_Interested in: Drinking and sleeping._

_In a relationship: Keep my options open._

Maya Normousbutt checked Haymitch's Wall and saw that Effie Trinket posted a comment there, on January 24 at 18:09PM:

_'Keep your options open? For what? It's not like someone will want to be with a guy who's constantly drunk like yourself.'_

Two minutes later, Haymitch sent a response.

_'Ah, Effie. Always know how to make a guy suffer.'_

_'That's what women are best at.'_ Wrote Chaff, Haymitch's best and only friend.

Maya Normousbutt frowned at the computer screen. Stupid Chaff.

Then she saw that Haymitch Abernathy, Gale Hawthorne and Cato The Sexy Buffalo all liked Chaff's comment.

Okay. Stupid Haymitch, stupid Gale _and_ stupid Cato.

Men are stupid.

You hear that, Scott Buttreeks?

MEN. ARE. STUPID.

_'How can you even write on the computer, Chaff? You only have one arm.'_ Effie Trinket wrote.

_'One letter at a time, babe. One letter at a time.'_ Chaff sent in response.

Three minutes later, Katniss Everdeen posted a comment.

_'I bet you were drunk when you wrote your profile, Haymitch.'_

_'You know me so well.'_ Was Haymitch's reply.

_'Oh please, I bet he's drunk right now.'_ Effie wrote.

_'*Giggle* *Hiccup* Banana!'_ Was Haymitch's well written response to that.

Snort.

_'Told you.'_ Effie wrote.

Cato The Sexy Buffalo then posted a comment.

_'What are you doing in a dumpster?'_

_'I'm baking a cake.'_ Haymitch wrote.

Maya Normousbutt raised her eyebrows.

_'?'_ Was Cato The Sexy Buffalo's short reply.

_'Yeah, this sentence doesn't have the same effect without the sarcastic tone.'_ Haymitch sent in response.

_'But there aren't any dumpsters in District Twelve.'_ Gale wrote.

_'So how come I'm lying in a place filled with garbage?'_ Haymitch wrote challengingly.

_'Ahh, Haymitch? That's your garden.'_ Katniss wrote.

It took Haymitch a few minutes to write a response.

_'*looks around* Oh. Right. Hey, I can see you staring at me through your window! *Waving enthusiastically*'_

Katniss's next comment was received a minute later.

_'Yeah… That's Peeta.'_

Gale Hawthorne, Cato The Sexy Buffalo, Chaff and Effie Trinket all liked this comment. Maya Normousbutt smirked. Oh, Peeta…

_'Oh. He really needs to cut his hair. It's starting to get confusing.'_ Haymitch sent in response.

Gale Hawthorne and Cato The Sexy Buffalo liked this.

_'You should really stop drinking.'_ Effie wrote her opinion.

_'And you should really stop wearing those hideous clothes of yours. You look like a circus freak on drugs.'_ Haymitch replied sweetly.

Katniss Everdeen, Gale Hawthorne, Chaff and Cato The Sexy Buffalo liked Haymitch's comment. Maya Normousbutt, however, did not. Effie Trinket had a _GREAT_ sense of style.

And, once again, Maya Normousbutt thought of how stupid Haymitch was.

Stupid Haymitch.

_'See how bad he treats me! I don't understand why people think it's a good idea to pair us up in fanfiction.'_ Effie Trinket complained.

_'At least people write about you! I don't even think people know who I am *sob sob*'_ Chaff commented.

It took Effie a full minute to send a response to the sobbing Chaff that was full of comfort and understanding.

_'There there.'_

Haymitch then sent a message.

_'Why is this monkey walking towards me?'_

Katniss answered him after a few long seconds.

_'That's Greasy Sae.'_

Two minutes later, Haymitch Abernathy sent a reply.

_'Oh. She really needs to shave.'_

_'You know, now I'm curious. I want to know what Greasy Sae looks like!'_ Cato The Sexy Buffalo wrote.

_'No, you don't. Believe me.'_ Gale sent in response.

_'Gale! That's really not nice of you!'_ Katniss wrote, sounding annoyed with Gale.

_'I'm just bad like that. *wink wink*'_ Gale wrote.

_'*blink blink*'_ Katniss sent in response.

_'Ejfoajf … afhoaifa … laihfah … Harry Potter! … '_ Haymitch Abernathy wrote drunkenly.

And Maya Normousbutt just looked at the conversation with neon green eyebrows raised.

She didn't understand what just happened in those last three lines.

* * *

><p><strong>Okay, so in the last chapter there was this woman, called 'An Angry Capitol Woman', and a few of you asked me who she was and if she was Maya Normousbutt.<strong>

**Well, the answer is, no. She wasn't Maya Normousbutt. She's just a random girl from the Capitol who's in love with Finnick.**

**Hope you all have a lovely day, and please, REVIEW!**


	12. Johanna took away Peeta's innocence

**Johanna took away Peeta's innocence**

* * *

><p>Johanna Mason returned to her home in Victors Village, dripping sweat and satisfied. She sat down in front of her computer, still holding her lovely axe tightly in her hand, and with her other hand tucked a stray of her short, sweaty hair behind her ear.<p>

Oh, she just loved chopping down trees. It was a wonderful hobby, one that would never grow old. Whenever she needed to let off some steam (which was practically always, she was angry like that) she went and chopped down trees.

Her axe was her best friend.

Which, for some people, might seem a bit sad and pathetic, but oh well. Johanna was awesome. She didn't need any friends as long as she had her axe.

Not that she didn't _have_ any friends. She had _some_. Finnick. Annie. Cato. Ahh… Haymitch. And a few more.

She just hated them all.

Okay, that was a lie, but she couldn't tell them or act like she actually_ liked_ them. That would make her weak.

And Johanna Mason was anything _but_ weak.

Johanna finally let go of her precious axe and put it down next to her. She turned to face the computer again and logged into Facebook.

She looked at her profile page.

**_Johanna Mason Profile Page_**

_Name: This is Johanna Mason's page. I'm sure even a brainless idiot from the Capitol can understand that my name is Johanna Mason._

_Age: Who cares?_

_Home: Victors Village, District Seven. That's right, I'm a freaking victor. Fear me._

_Current location: Next to my axe in my room *heart*_

_Interested in: Chopping and cutting._

_In a relationship: I'm a difficult girl to love._

Oh yeah. She was _so_ witty.

She checked her Wall, just to see if anyone posted anything on it, and to her great dismay, she saw that indeed, one person was stupid enough to actually post a comment. On _her_ Wall.

The comment was from Peeta Mellark, and was received on February 7 at 12:09PM:

_'You like to chop and cut?'_

Johanna rolled her eyes. What a dumbass.

_'Got a problem with that, Pita?'_ She wrote in response.

He immediately replied to that.

_'It's Peeta. P-E-E-T-A. It's not that hard to remember!'_

Johanna already grew bored with this conversation, and decided to check other things out. Peeta wasn't worthy of her attention anyway.

Of course, being Johanna Mason, she liked disgusting, horrible things.

And that's why she found herself one minute later reading in Wikipedia about different types of Paraphilias.

After a few minutes of reading about a few of those disgusting things (Oh dear god, Diaper fetishism was one of the funniest and weirdest things she's ever read about), she decided to check how the conversation with Pita progressed.

She saw that Greasy Sae left a message at 12:13PM.

_'I remember your name, Peeta :P'_

_'Bless you, Greasy Sae. Bless you ^^'_ Was Peeta's response to that.

Johanna rolled her eyes. What an idiot.

She saw that Greasy Sae has already left the conversation.

It was already 12:17PM, and she decided to send a new comment.

_'And there goes the one person who actually knows your name.'_

Oh, she was just so witty!

Peeta sent a reply a minute later.

_'At least I know she's out there, knowing my name.'_

Cato The Sexy Buffalo then decided to join the conversation.

_'Damn it! Can't believe I missed Greasy Sae! I am DYING to know who she is!'_

Haymitch Abernathy was the next one to post a comment.

_'And so, Greasy Sae remains a mystery to The Buffalo.'_

Cato The Sexy Buffalo responded very shortly to that.

_'Humph.'_

Johanna then decided to finally share with them about what she just found on Wikipedia.

_'Oh my Collins; I'm just looking at a list of paraphilias on Wikipedia… - '_

_'Of course you do.'_ Haymitch wrote quickly. Brainless Haymitch.

Johanna decided to continue with her comment.

_" - …and some of the things on that list are so disgusting, it's so… yuck. Awful. I _love_ it.'_

_'What is a paraphilia?'_ Was Peeta's innocent comment.

Johanna Mason smirked to herself as she wrote a response.

_'Go check it out on Wikipedia. I bet you have some of the things on that list.'_

Oh, her wittiness was really showing today!

_'Okay, I'll check it out!'_ Peeta sent.

Johanna's smirk grew wider when she saw that Peeta Mellark has left the conversation.

_'Poor, poor boy.'_ She posted, not sorry for him at all.

_'Seriously, what is a paraphilia?'_ Cato The Sexy Buffalo asked.

_'A paraphilia is a biomedical term used to describe sexual arousal to things *evil smirk*'_ Johanna wrote. The smirk on her face was indeed an evil smirk.

President Snow The Sexy Rooster then decided to join the conversation.

_'ROFLMAO! Johanna, deary, you're SO evil! And oh yay, Cato's here too! 'sup, dawgs? *wink wink*'_

Johanna wasn't surprised when the next message that showed was: _**'Cato The Sexy Buffalo** has left the conversation.'_

_'Oh, Cato. Always so busy. Doesn't even have the time to stay here and chat!'_ President Snow The Sexy Rooster complained.

_'Yeah. That's why he left the conversation. Because he's busy.'_ Haymitch wrote sarcastically.

Johanna liked this comment immediately, she loved sarcasm oh-so-much, and so did Katniss Everdeen, who apparently decided to join the conversation too.

President Snow The Sexy Rooster was really happy about it, apparently.

_'Katniss! 'sup, babe?'_

…babe?

That was creepy. Worse than paraphilias.

Yuck.

Katniss Everdeen apparently found this comment creepy as well.

_'A little disturbed now, but fine.'_ Was her reply.

God, Johanna was bored. Those people were boring. She hated them, she hated them all.

Just as she was about to leave the conversation, Peeta Mellark joined.

Which made Johanna smirk evilly again.

Well, this was worth staying for.

_'Oh dear god! My eyes, MY EYES! This was just… this… awful!'_ Was Peeta's horrified comment.

Heehee.

_'Didn't you just love it? :D'_ Johanna wrote happily. Yes, happily. That list of Paraphilias made her feel quite giddy.

Peeta's next comment was just as good as his last one.

_'*shaking uncontrollably* You're a sick, sick person, Johanna Mason.'_ Was his comment.

_'What did you DO to him?'_ Katniss asked.

Johanna didn't have the power to explain.

_'Scroll to the beginning of the conversation.'_ Was all she wrote.

_'Oh dear Collins.'_ Was Katniss's reply.

Johanna smirked again when Peeta posted yet another comment.

_'*Rocking back and forth in place* …Yuck, yuck, yuck, yuck, yuck, yuck…'_

Heehee.

_'I think you just took away his innocence.'_ Haymitch wrote.

Johanna just shrugged. Like she cared about that.

_'S'about time.'_ Was all she wrote. Really, that boy was _way_ too innocent. She actually did him a favor.

Peeta sent another message, to express the way he felt right now after reading that beautiful list.

_'…yuck, yuck, yuck, yuck, yuck, yuck, yuck…'_

And, with one more evil smirk, Johanna Mason left the conversation and grabbed her axe.

Time to chop down some more trees!

* * *

><p><strong>I adore Johanna Mason. I love writing from her POV, it's just so much fun XD<strong>

**Just so you know, there really is a list of Paraphilias on Wikipedia. My advice to you? Don't check it out. It really is disgusting. You've been warned.**

**I posted 9 out of the 30 chapters I've written (in chat format) on a website called livejournal. The link will shortly be added to my profile.**

**So! This fanfic has right now 981 reviews. 981! Am very excited about it. 19 more reviews and we get to 1,000!**

**So, I only have one thing to say.**

**PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE REVIEW! YOU DON'T KNOW HOW MUCH IT MEANS TO ME! PLEASE! PLEASE, I REALLY WANT TO GET TO 1,000 REVIEWS! PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE!**

**I wasn't begging. Nope. I was _definitely_ not begging.**

**But please, do review.**

**...please?**

**Anyways. Hope you all have a lovely day! :D (review, review, review, review, review...)**


	13. Peeta and Katniss have kids

**Peeta and Katniss have kids**

* * *

><p>Ahh. Valentine's Day. The bestest day in the year, in Peeta's opinion.<p>

He spent three hours this morning baking heart-shaped cookies, and sent them to everyone he loved. Katniss… Prim… Buttercup… Gale…

Oh, it was just such an exciting day! Love was in the air, and if Peeta tried really hard, he could almost hear the angels sing and the cupids shooting arrows.

_"…how many times did I tell you not to throw away perfectly good bread?"_

_"…the bread was ruined, mom. Get over it already!"_

_"How dare you talk to me like that?" *punch!*_

Okay, so his family members made it difficult to hear, but those cupids and angels were out there making some lovely noises, and Peeta was sure of it.

Peeta sat down in front of his computer and logged into Facebook. He had to tell Katniss he loved her one more time, and Facebook was the fastest way to talk to her.

But before he was able to do it he saw something.

A Friend Request.

From Peeta and Katniss's Kids.

Peeta and Katniss's Kids?

Squeal!

What a fantabulous day! He has _kids_? With _Katniss_?

Hurray!

Peeta immediately confirmed the request and looked at his kids' profile.

**_Peeta and Katniss's kids Profile Page_**

_Name: Peeta and Katniss's kids._

_Age: Between one to three years old._

_Home: With our awesome parents._

_Current location: In the garden, playing._

_Interested in: Drooling, drinking milk, sleeping and burping._

_In a relationship: What is a relationship?_

Aww, they were the most adorable little bastards ever!

He immediately posted a comment on their Wall, he was just too excited not to.

The comment was received on February 14th at 13:04PM.

_'O-M-G. I KNEW Katniss loafed me too, and here's the proof! We have KIDS! YAY YAY YAY! :D'_

To Peeta's excitement, Katniss posted the next comment.

_'Is this some kind of a joke?'_

Aww, Katniss was so cute! She just couldn't believe that they have those adorable kids! She was probably overtaken by excitement.

_'Katniss, my loaf, look! We're in the page of our fantabules kids!'_ Peeta wrote, not able to keep his huge smile off his face.

The loaf of Peeta's life, Katniss Everdeen, posted the next comment.

_'We don't have any kids.'_

Peeta bit his lower lip. Did she really think their kids, their awesome kids, weren't real?

Jeez. He really needed to teach her a thing or two about motherhood.

_'Then how come we're in their Facebook page? Facebook doesn't lie, Katniss, babe.'_ Peeta wrote, knowing that he was right.

But Katniss still didn't change her mind.

_'Don't call me that. And we never even had sex.'_

Okay, now she was just being petty.

_'And whose fault was that?'_ Peeta wrote in response, challenging her.

Gale Hawthorne then joined the conversation.

_'I can't BELIEVE it! You have KIDS? What an awful thing to discover on Valentine's Day *sob sob*'_

Peeta couldn't help but feel a bit sorry for Gale. But just a tiny bit. He was too happy to really care about Gale.

_'THOSE ARE NOT OUR KIDS!'_ Katniss continued to be annoying.

And then Peeta and Katniss's kids sent a comment, and Peeta just couldn't be happier.

_'Mommy! Daddy!'_

Adorable. Just super adorable.

Katniss, apparently, didn't think so.

_'Oh, for god's sake.'_

Peeta decided to at least be nice to their kids, he never talked to or seen them before after all, and sent them a special little comment.

_'Yes, my sweet little angels? *kiss*'_

He was a good daddy. Yes he was.

_'Peeta, stop being such a fool! This is probably just a bored person who has no life that created this page to mess with us!'_ Katniss sent quickly.

And Katniss was a rather bad mommy. Yes she was.

_'But who can do such a despicable thing?'_ Gale wrote.

A minute later Peeta and Katniss's kids sent yet another comment.

_'Daddy, why is mommy such a b*tch?'_

*Gasp!* Profanity, PROFANITY!

_'EXCUSE ME?'_ Katniss sent. By her use of Caps Lock, Peeta figured out she was pissed off. Or extremely excited.

Which seemed unlikely to him. Their precious kids used profanity, after all. So Peeta figured she was pissed off.

He decided to teach them a lesson.

_'Peeta junior, this was NOT a nice thing to say to your mother! Apologize this instant!'_

Oh, he felt so grown up!

Peeta and Katniss's kids sent the next comment.

_'I'm sorry, mommy.'_

Peeta nodded his head in approval. Now they were acting like his sweet little angels!

Johanna Mason then joined the conversation.

_'Wow, Katniss, you and Pita sure move fast!'_

Katniss's response to that was a short and rather unpleasant one.

_'*death glare*'_

Peeta, however, was bothered by something else entirely.

_'IT'S PEETA! PEETA!'_

_'Yay, it's Johanna Mason, our favorite aunt!'_ Peeta and Katniss's kids wrote excitedly.

Well, that was just great.

_'That explains where they heard the word b*tch from.'_ Gale wrote.

Peeta ran a hand through his hair. Gale was probably right. Johanna was a bad role model.

_'Johanna, I'd like it if you keep your language to a minimum while being in the presence of me and Katniss's kids.'_ Peeta wrote, hoping that Johanna will be more responsible around his kids.

But Katniss was still being difficult.

_'Peeta, SHUT UP ALREADY! THOSE AREN'T OUR KIDS! WE DON'T HAVE ANY KIDS!'_

Peeta rolled his eyes. Oh, his wife was just so stubborn!

_'Come on, Katniss, honey, let's not fight in front of the kids.'_ Peeta wrote calmly.

He received a _'*growl*'_ from Katniss.

Peeta nodded his head in approval.

_'That's better. Good that you control your anger :)'_ He wrote, knowing that he just made Katniss feel really good with his awesome encouragements.

Peeta and Katniss's kids sent the next comment.

_'Mommy, we discussed it, and we both think that you need to be nicer to daddy.'_

Peeta Mellark liked this.

Katniss, apparently, lost her patience.

_'Okay that's it! Who is it? President Snow? Cato? Who the hell is it?'_

President Snow The Sexy Rooster then joined the conversation.

_'Not me, my little blooming rose ^^'_ Was his comment.

_'Yeah, it's not me either.'_ Cato The Sexy Buffalo sent.

Katniss decided that enough is enough.

_'Okay, I am calling to every Hunger Games' character ever created to Like this sentence, so that I could see this isn't you pretending to be my freaking kids!'_ Katniss wrote.

Peeta liked the comment and looked at the computer as more and more people liked Katniss's comment.

_'President Snow The Sexy Rooster, Cato The Sexy Buffalo, Johanna Mason, Peeta Mellark, Gale Hawthorne, Finnick Odair, Annie Cresta, Primrose Everdeen, Mrs. Everdeen, The deceased Mr. Everdeen, Rue, Thresh, Clove, Marvel, Glimmer, Buttercup, FoxFace, Cinna, Greasy Sae, Caesar, Haymitch Abernathy, The Morphlings, Boggs, Blight, Plutarch, Woof, Enobaria, Brutus, Atala, Avox girl, Beetee, Wiress, Bonnie, Bristle, Cashmere, Gloss, Castor, Cecelia, Chaff, Claudius, Commander P., Cray, Cressida, Darius, Delly, Effie Trinket, Flavius, Fluvia, Hazelle, Homes, Jackson, Lavinia, Leeg 1&2, Madge, Leevy, Lyme, Mags, Mayor Undersee, Maysilee, Messalla, Mitchel, Mr. Mellark, Mrs. Mellark, Octavia, Paylor, Pollux, Portia, Posy, President Coin, Purnia, Ripper, Romulus, Rory, Seeder, Seneca, Tax, Thom, Tigris, Titus, Twill, Venia and Vick **Like** this.'_

Everyone. All of the characters liked it. Which meant, their kids, their precious, REAL kids, weren't made by any of them. They couldn't be signed into Facebook while logging into Facebook with another account.

Peeta and Katniss's kids then sent their final message.

_'Mommy, I need you to help me burp.'_

And Katniss's last comment was a confused, horrified, _'O.o'._

* * *

><p><strong>AHHH! 1016 REVIEWS!<strong>

**Thank you to everyone who reviewed, you're all so awesome, and I love each and every one of you!**

**And that's why I uploaded this chapter so quickly :)**

**You guys are awesome. You really are. **

**Hope you all have a lovely day :)**


	14. The fight over Cato's heart

**The fight over Cato's heart**

* * *

><p>Cato got out of his bed and stretched his muscular, amazing arms. He looked at the clock next to his bed – it was almost three o'clock in the afternoon.<p>

He ran a hand through his hair, disheveling it even more, and made himself some coffee. It took him a while to finish making his coffee – he got distracted in the middle by his incredibly sexy reflection in the window – and when the coffee was done he poured it into a big cup and drank it slowly.

Oh, yeah. That was the good life.

As he got more and more awake, he decided to get into Facebook. Not that he was addicted, of course not, he just wanted to check if anyone wrote anything to him.

He got to his profile and read it again, not because he didn't remember what he wrote, but because the author of this story found it necessary to show the readers what Cato wrote in his profile.

**_Cato The Sexy Buffalo Profile Page_**

_Name: Cato The Sexy Buffalo :)_

_Age: Eighteen._

_Home: District Two, the home of the killing machines! *yay*_

_Current location: In my home._

_Interested in: Killing, fencing, winning._

_In a relationship: Single._

After Cato reread his profile purely to help this story progress, he checked his Wall.

He frowned.

Not a single new message? Not even one?

So he decided to be the first one to write a comment on his Wall (oh, so embarrassing), and started writing it on February 21 at 14:52PM:

_'Yeah, that's right ladies – I'm single. You can fight over me any minute now. Preferably, wearing bikinis. And swimming in a pudding pool. Or a mud pool. Really, it's up to you. Be as creative as you like. Last one standing, wins my heart :)'_

Now, all he had to do was wait.

He smirked when a new message received one minute later.

_'Seriously? You really think a bunch of girls are going to fight each other over you?'_ Gale Hawthorne wrote.

Cato The Sexy Buffalo shook his head. Gale just didn't understand the power that his hotness and sexiness had over the ladies.

But before he could write anything it response to Gale's comment, Clove did.

_'I'M GOING TO WIN!'_

Johanna Mason joined the fight, too.

_'NO YOU'RE NOT! I'M A F*CKING WINNER OF THE F*CKING HUNGER GAMES, AND DON'T YOU FORGET THAT! YOU GOT KILLED BEFORE THE FINAL FIVE, YOU LOSER!'_

Cato smirked to himself. Oh, he was just so hot.

Gale Hawthorne apparently understood how awesomely hot Cato really was.

_'O_O Dude, you gotta tell me your secret.'_

_'There is no secret. I'm just that hot and sexy, no girl can resist me.'_ Cato The Sexy Buffalo wrote modestly.

_'JOHANNA, YOU B*TCH! STOP THROWING YOUR AXE AT ME!'_ Clove sent.

_'I WILL KILL YOU!'_ Johanna sent in response.

Aw, they were just so cute!

_'Seriously, dude, you're like my idol.'_ The awestruck Gale wrote.

_'Yeah, well, being so hot and sexy isn't always that great.'_ Cato The Sexy Buffalo wrote, nodding his head importantly as he did.

_'Yeah, right.'_ Gale Hawthorne sent in response.

Oh, he just didn't understand how hard it was for him!

_'No, seriously! Sometimes, I wish I wasn't as hot as I am.'_ Cato The Sexy Buffalo wrote seriously.

Gale Hawthorne still didn't believe him.

_'Really? And why is that?'_

But before Cato The Sexy Buffalo could explain exactly why it was so hard to be this hot and sexy, President Snow The Sexy Rooster sent a comment that explained why it was so hard for Cato to be this hot and sexy.

_'I want a little part in that action, too! *running off to change into a bikini*'_

Yep. Being hot and sexy sometimes sucked. And _not_ in a good way.

Heehee.

_'Must I really explain?'_ Cato The Sexy Buffalo then wrote, knowing that Gale would finally understand.

Foxface then decided to join the conversation.

_'WHERE IS THE PUDDING POOL?'_

Well, the more, the merrier!

_'Go after the screaming, FoxFace, babe *Smiling the most beautiful smile ever seen by humans*'_ Cato The Sexy Buffalo gave Foxface directions.

Foxface sent a comment only a few seconds later.

_'*ballet-dancing towards the two wrestling girls* MAKE SOME ROOM FOR ME!'_

Cato The Sexy Buffalo was happy now.

_'*eating popcorn* I love my life.'_ He wrote, feeling elated.

_'You died in the books.'_ Gale wrote in response.

Cato rolled his eyes. Must he remind him?

_'But I have a blast in this Facebook world.'_ Cato The Sexy Buffalo wrote simply.

Finnick Odair then joined the conversation.

_'Oh, this is so totally stupid! You're not hotter than me! I'm the Sex Symbol of Panem, for god's sake! Tell him, girls! '_

_'SHUT UP FINNICK! CAN'T YOU SEE I'M FIGHTING?'_ Johanna Mason sent.

Well, Johanna was just too awesome. Cato decided to let her touch his amazingly sculpted abs. She deserved it.

_'Humph.'_ Was Finnick Odair's response.

_'Told you so.'_ Cato The Sexy Buffalo wrote with a smirk.

_'I'm still hotter than you are.'_ Finnick Odair wrote.

Oh, he just couldn't admit defeat!

And then President Snow The Sexy Rooster sent another comment that made Cato wish he was never born.

_'Okay, where is that pool you've mentioned? *wearing a pink speedo*'_

And Cato The Sexy Buffalo sent one last final comment before leaving the conversation.

_' . . ._

_Yeah, my life sucks.'_

* * *

><p><strong>Finnick is hotter than Cato in my opinion.<strong>

**And don't you forget it.**

**Cato is extremely hot, sure, but Finnick is the Sex Symbol of Panem, for god's sake!**

**Also, first time to mention Foxface here, so, YAY!**

**1050 reviews? Am so happy! REVIEW, REVIEW, REVIEW!**

**Seriously, review. I even used Caps Lock.**

**Hope you all have a lovely day :)**


	15. Rue has an amazing vocabulary

**Rue has an amazing vocabulary**

* * *

><p>Maya Normousbutt was pretty pleased. She had a nice day at work today, she didn't eat any doughnut, and Justin, a real sex god, talked to her today.<p>

Well, more accurately, said something to her today.

_"Can you please move? You stand in my way."_

Squeal!

Best 9 words ever!

Maya Normousbutt sat down in front of her precious computer and immediately checked her Wall on Facebook.

No new messages.

Oh well.

Time to stalk other people's Walls.

She decided to check the Wall of someone she didn't check on for a long time.

Rue.

Her profile was the sweetest thing ever, and Maya Normousbutt smiled without even realizing it as she read Rue's profile again.

**_Rue The Sweet Little Angel profile page_**

_Name: Rue :)_

_Age: Twelve :)_

_Home: District Eleven :)_

_Current location: Heaven :)_

_Interested in: Singing and bringing peace to this horrible world :)_

_In a relationship: No :(_

Oh, she's so sweet!

On Rue The Sweet Little Angel's Wall there was one comment, posted by Cato The Sexy Buffalo on February 28th at 16:02PM.

_'I see you've learnt from me and changed your username to something longer that really shows the real you as well.'_

Rue The Sweet Little Angel posted a short comment two minutes later.

A _really_ short comment.

_':-)'_

Katniss Everdeen then joined the conversation several minutes later.

_'Awww, Rue, you really _are_ a sweet little angel! *teary eyes*'_

Maya Normousbutt nodded her head. Yes, that she was.

_':-)'_ Was Rue's insanely adorable and short reply.

Caesar Flickerman posted a comment two minutes later.

_'Rue! Just the sweet little angel I was looking for! Listen, since you're one of the most loved dead tributes in the hunger games…'_

_'*sob sob*_' Katniss Everdeen managed to somehow interrupt Caesar Flickerman's comment.

_'…I was wondering if you would be kind enough to let me interview you! What do you say?'_ Caesar Flickerman continued.

Rue The Sweet Little Angel, again, posted a pretty short comment.

_':-)'_

Caesar Flickerman sent a reply immediately.

_'I'll take that as a yes! So, Rue; your thoughts about the games?'_

Rue The Sweet Little Angel's comment was posted a few seconds later.

_':'('_

The crying smiley was enough for Caesar, apparently.

_'Ah ha, and about Katniss?'_

_':-)'_ Was Rue's reply.

_'What did you think about Thresh?'_ Caesar continued, receiving just the answers he was looking for.

Rue The Sweet Little Angel continued sending those smiley messages.

_'^.^'_

_'And about the Careers?'_ Caesar asked.

_':-S'_ Rue sent.

Caesar Flickerman was quite smitten by Rue The Sweet Little Angel's answers.

_'You know, Rue, I l just love interviewing you; you're like a wave of fresh air.'_

Rue The Sweet Little Angel sent a quick reply.

_':D'_

AWW!

But then stupid Haymitch Abernathy had to join the conversation and ruin the cuteness and adorableness of Rue.

_'Your vocabulary amazes me *sarcasm*'_ Was his comment.

Stupid Haymitch.

Maya Normousbutt was about to give Stupid Haymitch _'the finger'_, because she was such a badass, but someone beat her to it.

'‹^› ‹(•¿•)› ‹^›'

GASP!

Rue The Sweet Little Angel just sent _that_?

THAT?

Oh my.

Haymitch Abernathy was, apparently, surprised too.

_'O.O'_

Caesar Flickerman decided to return to his precious interview.

_'Okay… anyway! I've brought someone really special today to talk to you.'_

_'?_?'_ Rue The Sweet Little Angel was curious.

_'It's someone I'm sure you know!'_ Caesar continued.

_':D'_ Rue The Sweet Little Angel started getting excited.

_'It's the guy that killed you, what's-his-name!'_ Caesar sent, excited.

Marvel AKA The-Guy-That-Killed-Rue then joined the conversation.

_'… 'sup.'_

A few minutes of no-comment, and then…

_'…Marvel, you little sh*t!'_

GASP! _Again_!

Rue The Sweet Little Angel just used profanity!

Oh my, oh my,_ oh my_!

That was so freaking exciting!

_'Rue!'_ Katniss sent, rather surprised.

Haymitch Abernathy was either learning from Rue, or just in a loss for words.

_'O.O'_

Caesar Flickerman was still his cheerful self.

_'Oh, aren't you a sweet little angel indeed!'_

And Rue The Sweet Little Angel finished the conversation with a sweet, cute, _':P'._

* * *

><p>:'(<strong> = crying.<strong>

^.^** = Happy.**

:-S** = Disliking.**

:D** = Big grin.**

O.O** = Shocked.**

?_?** = Not understanding.**

‹^› ‹(•¿•)› ‹^›** = middle fingers.**

**Let's try to get to 1100 reviews.**

**No, wait!**

**1111 reviews.**

**Ahh, that would be so cool!**

**Please help me get to 1111 reviews, I'd be so happy if we get to that number before the next chapter!**

**Hope you enjoyed that chapter, Rue is just super adorable, and have a lovely day :)**


	16. Finnick's manly eyeliner

**Finnick's manly eyeliner**

* * *

><p>Cinna was a hard-working man. The burns on his hand were the proof of his dedication to his work and clothes and fire.<p>

He bit his lower lip as he finished with one of the two flaming socks he was making. Oh, the fire just looked amazing on that sock! Brilliant! People would die to wear those beautifully flaming socks!

He decided to have a little break then, he still had some work ahead of him and he needed several minutes without looking at socks or fire, and decided to get into Facebook.

He got to his page and read his profile, because really, he had nothing better to do.

**_Cinna The Mega-Stylist profile page_**

_Name: Cinna Wigglebottom._

_Age: Thirty._

_Home: The Capitol._

_Current location: My office, making flaming socks._

_Interested in: Designing and styling, my one and only passion *heart*_

_In a relationship: Completely committed to my job._

Well wasn't he just lovely?

He smiled when he saw he got a comment on his Wall, and checked to see who it's from.

It was from Katniss Everdeen, and was received on March 12th at 18:03PM.

_'You never told me your last name was Wigglebottom.'_

Cinna The Mega-Stylist rolled his eyes and wrote a response.

_'You've never asked.'_

President Snow The Sexy Rooster then sent a comment.

_'Cinna, my man! Just the stylist I wanted to talk to through Facebook! I need you to make me a shirt. Make it pink. And tight. And sparkly. With hearts and butterflies all over it. Oh, and can you write in glittery letters, "President Snow + Cato = The Forbidden Yet Passionate Love Between A Rooster And A Buffalo"?'_

Cinna smiled. What a wonderfully wonderful shirt President Snow was asking for! Who knew he had such a good taste.

_'No problemo, presidento!'_ He wrote, feeling happy that he had a shirt to design.

Cato The Sexy Buffalo then wrote a comment.

_'Whoa whoa whoa! Wait a minute! There's a big problemo here! That's just creepy!'_

Katniss Everdeen replied to Cato's comment.

_'Oh, I think it's quite sweet *smirk*'_

Cato The Sexy Buffalo was annoyed.

_'Shut it, Girl on Fire. Your name isn't the one The Rooster's gonna put on his shirt. Who knows who'll see that shirt on him...'_

President Snow The Sexy Rooster immediately tried to calm Cato The Sexy Buffalo down.

_'Oh, no need to worry my sexy buffalo! No one will ever see this shirt! This is going to be my sleeping shirt! :D'_

Cato The Sexy Buffalo wasn't at all calm after this revelation.

_'Oh, that's just great. *Sarcasm*'_

Katniss Everdeen was apparently quite entertained by the conversation.

_'LOL, President Snow LOVES you!'_

Cato The Sexy Buffalo wasn't at all entertained.

_'*Middle fingers*'_

Peeta Mellark was angry by that comment.

_'Hey, don't you dare showing your disgusting middle fingers to the mother of my children!'_

Katniss Everdeen replied immediately to Peeta's comment.

_'We. Don't. Have. Any. Children.'_

Peeta Mellark responded immediately.

_'LOL, oh Katniss, you're so hilarious. Pretending like we don't have any children.'_

_'I'm not pretending. We really don't have children.'_ Katniss sent.

Peeta still didn't get it.

_'ROFJLDMIAVPM! You're, like, the funniest girl ever! Loaf you! *heart in a shape of a bun*'_

Katniss Everdeen replied after a minute or so.

_'Oh, dear God…'_

Finnick Odair then joined the conversation.

_'What the hell is "ROJLDMIAVPM" represents?'_

Peeta Mellark responded immediately.

_'Rolling On Floor Just Like Draco Malfoy In A Very Potter Musical, duh!'_

President Snow The Sexy Rooster sent the next comment.

_'OMG, I loved Blaine- I mean, Darren Criss- in this! What a hottie :D'_

Cinna The Mega-Stylist then decided to join the conversation again – it was his Wall after all.

_'Yeah, but he looked so… ordinary. So bland, there was nothing special about his appearance. A shame, really.'_

Finnick Odair replied quickly.

_'I get what you mean, Wigglebottom. If only he had this new eyeliner I made for guys, he would've looked a whole lot better! Remember, guys – an orange eyeliner, now with sparkles!'_

Peeta Mellark was quick to respond.

_'OMG, ORANGE? That's, like, my favorite color ever! Tell him, Katniss!'_

Katniss Everdeen wasn't quick to reply.

_'It's his favorite color.'_

Peeta Mellark replied immediately.

_'Exactly! Now, is this the color of a real orange, or is it the color of a peach? Because I can't stand peaches. Too hairy, like you're eating a little bunny. Or a rat.'_

Cinna nodded his head understandingly. He knew exactly what Peeta meant.

Finnick Odair sent the next comment.

_'It's between an orange and a peach. A combination, really. I am going to send you one of the eyeliners right now.'_

Peeta Mellark replied a second later.

_'Really? For free? :D'_

Finnick Odair was quick to reply.

_'*laughs* No!'_

Cinna The Mega-Stylist decided to share with them his opinion.

_'Gold is the best color for an eyeliner.'_

Yes it was.

Finnick Odair replied to him.

_'I suppose it's a nice color, but I prefer something more colorful. Like pink. Or yellow. Or Orange.'_

Peeta Mellark sent the next comment.

_'Oh, wow! The eyeliner is beautiful! *put some on* It makes my eyes pop! I feel like a new, stylish man!'_

Finnick Odair replied to his comment.

_'And it's made for men!'_

It's so nice, that there are so many eyeliners made for men only. Not that they were any different from the regular eyeliners made for women, but at least on them there was written 'Made For Men', which gave men the permission to use them without feeling stupid.

Peeta Mellark replied to Finnick's comment.

_'I feel more masculine already!'_

Cato The Sexy Buffalo replied to his comment.

_'Oh, God…'_

Peeta Mellark ignored him.

_'Katniss! Look out your window! Can you see me? How does the eyeliner look on me?'_

Katniss Everdeen sent him a reply.

_'It makes your ass look big.'_

Cinna held his breath. Oh, poor Peeta!

Peeta Mellark took his time to reply.

_'*horrified gasp* No! Not my manly eyeliner!'_

Cinna The Mega-Stylist sent him a sympathetic response.

_'It's okay, Peeta. Eyeliner is not for everyone.'_

Peeta Mellark sounded upset.

_'Easy for you to say; your eyeliner doesn't make you look like a freaking oompa loompa!'_

Cinna The Mega-Stylist nodded his head. No, his eyeliner didn't make him look like an oompa loompa.

He wrote sad Peeta a reply.

_'Not everyone are blessed with the amazing genes of the Wigglebottoms.'_

Katniss Everdeen then wrote a comment.

_'You do realize you've spent the last fifteen minutes talking about eyeliners? I feel manlier than you are!'_

Finnick Odair replied quickly.

_'That doesn't say anything, Katniss, dear. You're manlier than most guys.'_

Heehee.

Cinna The Mega-Stylist wrote the next comment, smiling as he did.

_'Ohh, burn!'_

_'Cinna!'_ Katniss wrote, shocked.

Cinna The Mega-Stylist just shrugged his shoulders. That was a nice burn, and Cinna knew everything about burns. He already had three on his right hand.

Finnick Odair sent the next comment.

_'So, Cato… Want to try my new peachy-peach-orangey-orange eyeliner?'_

Cato The Sexy Buffalo has left the conversation.

Finnick Odair sent the last comment.

_'Whatever. He's not manly enough to wear this anyway. *flips hair*'_

* * *

><p><strong>Ahh, 1127 reviews! You're awesome :D<strong>

**Peachy-peach-orangey-orange eyeliner... actually, I'd love to try that eyeliner.**

**Enjoy the chapter and have a lovely day :)**


	17. Thresh provides one word at a time

**Thresh provides one word at a time**

* * *

><p>Maya Normousbutt opened the door to her house, dripping wet. The rain was still pouring outside, and Maya Normousbutt shivered from the cold. She closed the door behind her and just stood there for a few moments at the entrance to her home, her arms outstretched at her sides, wetting the pink rug under her feet. She sighed loudly, creating a dramatic effect to her current condition, and only after standing there without purpose for five whole minutes she went to take a shower.<p>

It didn't matter that she lived alone and no one saw her dramatic entrance. It really didn't matter.

After a most-needed shower, Maya Normousbutt covered her body with her extremely cute, pink and fluffy robe and went to clean the wet mess she left behind her at the entrance of her home. She kneeled down on the floor next to the small puddle and wiped it off with a towel, acting more slutishly than usual and pretending like someone was watching her.

After she was done with it, Maya Normousbutt got to her computer and logged into Facebook. One new comment on her Wall.

_Her_ Wall.

Eeek!

She read the comment and frowned. It was from Stupid and Hot Scott Buttreeks.

_'Saw an Oompa Loompa and thought about you.'_

Humph.

Stupid and Hot Scott Buttreeks.

Maya Normousbutt started typing, smirking to herself while she did so.

_'Saw a Naked Mole Rat humping a Blobfish and thought about you :)'_

Heehee.

Maya Normousbutt decided to then check some of her favorite Hunger Games' characters Walls, to see if they received any new messages, and saw that one of her favorites, Thresh, did get a new message.

She first read his profile, because it was a necessity.

**_Thresh Profile Page_**

_Name: Thresh._

_Age: Eighteen._

_Home: Eleven._

_Current location: Home._

_Interested in: Nothing._

_In a relationship: No._

He had a way with words.

Maya Normousbutt scrolled down to check the comment President Snow The Sexy Rooster sent to him on March 18 at 14:26PM.

_'That's it? A single word for every question in your profile? Spice it up a little! Have longer answers! Make it interesting for the readers!'_

Thresh replied to him two minutes later.

_'*growl*'_

President Snow The Sexy Rooster replied a minute later.

_'…or not. Whatever. Stay cool.'_

The next message that showed was_** 'President Snow The Sexy Rooster** has left the conversation.'_

What a little chicken.

Cato The Sexy Buffalo then joined the conversation.

_'Good. He's gone. So, Thresh, me and the other Careers wanted to throw another Hunger Games, you know, for fun. We formed an alliance, me and the other Careers, you know, 'cause we're hot and awesome and so totally cool. Want to join us?'_

Thresh replied after taking a long time to carefully frame his answer.

_'No.'_

Cato The Sexy Buffalo wrote to him a quick reply.

_'Really? Are you sure? You should! ...not that I'm begging or anything, it's just that, you're a pretty strong guy. Not stronger than me, of course, after all I've killed you in the books… hmm… but you might be an asset. I suggest you reconsider my offer.'_

Thresh took another full minute to think about it.

_'No.'_

Glimmer Loves Glitters then decided to join the conversation.

_'Cum on, U will luv eet wid us *wink wink*'_

Maya Normousbutt had to get her face closer to the screen to actually understand what Glimmer Loves Glitters was trying to say.

Thresh didn't take his time to think about his answer now.

_'No.'_

Clove then joined the conversation.

_'Seriously, you want us to be your enemies? Don't you want to just join us and be in the best alliance ever?'_

Thresh replied quickly.

_'No.'_

Glimmer Loves Glitters sent her next unreadable comment at 14:41PM.

_'R U iven cipablle uf sayeen anyTHing oder than nnnoooo?'_

God, that girl was making Maya Normousbutt's head hurt. She was in physical pain because of that girl's inability to speak in proper English.

As Maya Normousbutt was holding her head in pain, Thresh sent another comment.

_'Yes.'_

Cato The Sexy Buffalo sent the next comment.

_'You know what? We don't need you! Who cares if you're the strongest, most intimidating guy out there, ah? We have the boy from Three! I admit, he's not the smartest boy out there. He's also not the strongest boy here. And he doesn't run very fast, and he's afraid of his own shadow but dammit, he can cook! And that's - that's what really important in the Games!'_

Thresh replied a few minutes later.

_'*shrugs*'_

The next thing Maya Normousbutt saw happening in the conversation was, _'Clove Dis Likes this.'_

Ooh, clever.

Glimmer Loves Glitters didn't think so, apparently. Or maybe she did, Maya Normousbutt wasn't sure. She barely understood what that girl was writing.

_'Deeed U reely shange UR usernAMe soo dat U kuld deslick dis?'_

Clove Dis apparently understood what the infuriating Glimmer Loves Glitters was trying to write.

_'He annoyed me.'_

Cato The Sexy Buffalo sent the next message.

_'Good thinking, Clove, love! See, Thresh? That what happens when you mess with the Careers!'_

Clove Dis was excited by Cato The Sexy Buffalo's comment.

_'YEAH!'_

Glimmer Loves Glitters was excited by something else.

_'OMG, LOLOLOLOLOL, U rote Cluve luv! XD'_

Cato The Sexy Buffalo ignored her comment.

_'Where is Marvel, anyway? Didn't see him in a while. Do you know where he is, Glimmer?'_

Glimmer Loves Glitters replied quickly.

_'He tride tu sort theengs oUT wid Rue… Appeaaraently, she diiidn't furgiv heem fur keelin her.'_

Cato The Sexy Buffalo sent her a quick reply.

_'Oh god, he's already apologized! What more can he do?'_

Maya Normousbutt rolled her eyes. Stupid Careers.

Thresh replied to Cato The Sexy Buffalo's comment rather quickly, and now he used more than one word.

_'*growl growl growl*'_

Well, okay, he used the same word three times, but it was still a pretty long comment.

Clove Dis sent the next comment.

_'…I think we should leave, guys._' It seemed like she was rather scared of Thresh now that he was angry.

Cato The Sexy Buffalo replied to Clove Dis comment quickly.

_'I agree! *swallowing hard* It doesn't mean we're afraid of you, Thresh. It only means we have more important things on our minds… OH MY GOD HE'S GETTING CLOSER! EVERY CAREER FOR HIMSELF!'_

_**Cato The Sexy Buffalo** has left the conversation._

_**Clove Dis** has left the conversation._

_**Glimmer Loves Glitters** has left the conversation._

The last and final comment came from Thresh, and concluded this conversation rather nicely.

_'LOL.'_

* * *

><p><strong>Oh, Thresh :)<strong>

**Writing Glimmer's comments is actually really, really hard. I'm really starting to respect the people who actually write this way naturally.**

**Okay, so, I have a question to you.**

**Who do you ship with Katniss?**

**I ask this because I've seen so many Katniss/Cato stories lately, and I just wanted to see if more people love them or Peeta/Katniss.**

**I know that Gale/Katniss isn't an extremely popular couple on this site, at least not like Peeta/Katniss or Cato/Katniss, which is actually quite sad. I'm a HUGE Katniss/Gale supporter.**

**Hope you enjoyed the chapter, please review and answer the question 'cause it really interests me, and have a lovely day :)**


	18. Katy Perry kissed Peeta, and he liked it

**Katy Perry kissed Peeta, and he liked it!**

* * *

><p>Maya Normousbutt woke up early – okay, not really that early, it was 12 pm, but it seemed early to her – by a loud noise outside.<p>

She rolled from her bed, put her pink fluffy robe on, and walked impatiently to the window next to her bed, her hair disheveled and her eyes still half closed.

She poked her head out the window and screamed, "SHUT UP!"

To her great horror, she saw that the one who was harassing her beauty sleep was no other than Bobby Bob, her huge, horrifying, Son of a Gorilla neighbor.

He looked at her with his stupid eyes, then started to growl.

Maya Normousbutt was suddenly really scared for her life.

She cleared her throat. "I mean, shut up is what I would've said if the noise of your… chainsaw… annoyed me, but it didn't, so… yeah, you just… continue sawing whatever you are working on, and please don't kill me."

Maya Normousbutt immediately closed the window, then rushed downstairs to lock her front door and back door and the four other doors that were between the front door and the back door, incase Bobby Bob would try to come in and kill her with his chainsaw.

After she was done with that task, she moved to her computer, because really, after being so close to death you need to spend some time on your computer. That's the cure to everything.

She already felt a little bit better when she logged into Facebook.

She felt even better when she saw that there was a new comment on Peeta Mellark's Wall.

She checked his profile quickly, reading every new thing he wrote about himself.

**_Peeta Mellark profile page_**

_Name: Peeta Mellark. Remember, it's P-E-E-T-A. PEETA!_

_Age: Sixteen. But still have the heart of a three year old :)_

_Home: District twelve, in a bakery._

_Current location: In the woods, stalking Katniss. No! I mean… chasing after watermelons._

_Interested in: Baking and painting and Katniss and Katniss singing and Katniss changing her clothes and Katniss hunting... There's nothing better than Katniss after a nice hunt; she's dripping sweat, and her hair is all messed up, and she has that delicious frown on her face… God, she's so HOT! XD_

_In a relationship: Married to Katniss Everdeen :) I even have the kids to prove it!_

What a stalker.

The new comment on his Wall, which was sent by Katniss Everdeen, was received just a few seconds ago, on March 27th at 12:09PM.

_'I hate you.'_

Peeta Mellark replied quickly.

_'AND I LOAF YOU! *heart*'_

Maya Normousbutt smiled at the computer screen. Aw, Peeta was sometimes just so adorable!

Katniss Everdeen apparently didn't think so.

_'Seriously, just stop stalking me, stop looking at me, stop telling people we have kids. Stop annoying me!'_

Peeta Mellark was quick to reply.

_'But Katniss loaf, I saw them! Our kids! I talked to them, we laughed together! They look just like us, only… not.'_

Katniss Everdeen was losing her patience.

_'Are you hallucinating or something?'_

Peeta Mellark replied to Katniss's comment.

_'NO! I'm telling you, I saw them!'_

Haymitch Abernathy then joined the conversation.

_'Yeah, I saw them too…'_

Peeta Mellark sent the next comment.

_'You see? Even Haymitch saw them!'_

Katniss Everdeen still wasn't convinced.

_'Yeah, this doesn't count.'_

Peeta Mellark replied quickly.

_'What? Why not?'_

Katniss Everdeen replied simply.

_'Because he's drunk.'_

Peeta Mellark wrote to her a quick comment.

_'Maybe he's not? Maybe he's completely sober?'_

Haymitch Abernathy sent the next comment.

_'DOBBY, BE FREE! *throwing a sock at a munchkin*'_

Peeta Mellark took his time to reply this time.

_'…they're real.'_

Katniss Everdeen sent him a reply.

_'Sure they are.'_

It didn't sound like she was convinced.

Peeta Mellark apparently thought the same thing that Maya Normousbutt was thinking.

_'I'm not kidding. They're real, they exist!'_

Beetee then joined the conversation.

_'Well, there's one way and one way only to be certain.'_

Katniss Everdeen sent the next comment.

_'What do you mean, one way and one way only? What about the fact that Peeta and I never had sex, ever? And what about me never being pregnant?'_

Beetee ignored her.

_'Shush, Katniss. Now, as I was saying, the way to know for certain is to do a DNA test on the kids. Now, where are they?'_

Peeta Mellark replied quickly.

_'In my backyard, making flourmen out of flour.'_

Katniss Everdeen replied to his comment.

_'Flourmen?'_

Peeta Mellark sent the next comment.

_'Well, it's not like I have a snow supply in my family's bakery!'_

Johanna Mason then joined the conversation.

_'Your conversations make me sad. You're so pathetic.'_

Maya Normousbutt snorted loudly, again thankful that she didn't live with anyone.

Who needed a man when you had a computer, ah?

. . .

Okay, she had to find a man, and ASAP. She was becoming pathetic.

Katniss Everdeen replied to Johanna Mason's comment, and not too kindly.

_'Shut it Johanna. No one asked for your opinion.'_

Peeta Mellark Liked this.

Haymitch Abernathy then wrote another extremely weird comment.

_'*running after the scared munchkin* DOBBY, STOP RUNNING AWAY FROM ME! I'M YOUR SAVIOR! I HAVE A SOCK WITH ME! DOBBY!'_

They all decided to ignore him.

_'You tell her Katniss!'_ Peeta wrote, rooting for Katniss in her "fight" against Johanna.

Wiress then joined the conversation.

_'…tick…tock…tick…tock…'_

Johanna Mason replied impatiently.

_'Yeah, yeah, we know. The arena is a clock, blah-blah-blah.'_

Wiress sent the next comment.

_'What are you talking about, missy? I was only singing the brilliant "Tick Tock" song by the brilliant Ke$ha! I'm a huge fan :D'_

Peeta Mellark joined Wiress and Johanna's conversation excitedly.

_'OMG, I LOAF KE$HA! But let's not forget Katy Perry! You know she actually wrote one of her songs about me?'_

Wiress replied quickly.

_'Really? Which one? Firework?'_

Peeta Mellark sent a one-word reply.

_'Nope.'_

Wiress sent another comment.

_'Last Friday Night?'_

Peeta Mellark sent another one-word comment.

_'No.'_

Wiress didn't give up.

_'The one that got away?'_

Peeta Mellark was still sending one-word comments.

_'…no.'_

Wiress sent yet another comment.

_'I kissed a girl?'_

Peeta Mellark replied excitedly.

_'BINGO! XD'_

Johanna Mason sent the next comment.

_'Katniss… I think your husband is gay.'_

Katniss Everdeen now sent a one-word comment.

_'*facepalm*'_

Beetee then returned to the conversation.

_'I got the results in my hand! They're right here!'_

Peeta Mellark, who was already excited, got even more excited by that news.

_'YAY! Tell us, TELL US!'_

Beetee sent the next comment.

_'Those kids are definitely yours.'_

Peeta Mellark was excited.

_'YES!'_

Katniss Everdeen wasn't.

_'WHAT! THIS CANNOT BE, I'VE NEVER HAD ANY CHILDREN! THERE'S SOMETHING WRONG, YOU'VE MADE A MISTAKE!'_

Beetee didn't take her comment well.

_'*growl* I. Did. Not. Make. A. Mistake.'_

Katniss and Peeta's kids then joined the conversation.

_'MOMMY! DADDY!'_

Katniss Everdeen sent the last, not wonderfully wonderful at all, comment.

_'*beep*beep*beep*beep*beep*beep*beep*beep*beep*beep*beep*'_

Maya Normousbutt shook her head at the screen, Katniss really had to learn how to speak next to her kids, then jumped in her place as she heard the loud knocks on her front door.

_Bobby Bob._

Well, she thought to herself as she got to her feet and ran to her bedroom as fast as she could, time to curl up in her bed under her blankets and pray that the half-gorilla half-man Bobby Bob would think she wasn't home.

* * *

><p><strong>Oh, Maya :)<strong>

**A word of advice- if you see a man who looks like a Gorilla and who's sawing things with his chainsaw, don't yell at him to shut up.**

**So, seems like there are some Gale/Katniss fans out there after all! Seriously, didn't expect so many people to like them, it seems like they have no fans, so I was excited.**

**Hope you enjoyed the chapter! I really love writing Peeta's comments. He's one of my favorite characters to write about in my parody fics :)**

**Have a lovely day :)**


	19. The interviewer being interviewed

**The interviewer being interviewed**

* * *

><p>After three long days of staying at home under her blanket and praying that the Gorilla Man wouldn't find her, Maya Normousbutt finally stepped outside.<p>

Then ran back inside when she saw the Gorilla Man glaring at her with his stupid beady eyes from his place in his garden.

So, another day at home it is.

Maya Normousbutt sighed loudly as she sat down in front of her computer. She missed being outside. She could hardly remember anymore how it was outside.

Are people still laughing there? Is the wind still blowing? Is the homeless man in the park still talking to his dead rat?

It felt like a punishment, to be stuck in her incredibly big and comfy and super-cute house. Though she had to admit to herself, being in her house was better than facing the giant Gorilla Man who could kill her with his chainsaw.

Still, she felt so isolated from the world. It was horrible.

Well, at least she could still use the internet, thank God.

Maya Normousbutt checked her Facebook page, no new comment on her Wall – ugh – but there was a new comment on Caesar Flickerman's Wall, and so she immediately went to check it. Caesar Flickerman was her favorite interviewer. Even better than Hugh Jass and Jack Goff.

She read his profile quickly.

**_Caesar Flickerman profile page_**

_Name: The one and only – Caesar Flickerman! *applause*_

_Age: Ninety seven. God bless the plastic surgeries :D_

_Home: Living with Granny in the Capitol._

_Current location: In my room :P_

_Interested in: Interviewing people, asking questions, plastic surgeries, make up, the Hunger Games._

_In a relationship: No. But I have Granny with me, and that's all I need._

Maya Normousbutt snorted. Ninety years old and still lives with his Granny? And didn't have a girlfriend?

Hmm. That was actually a rather pleasant surprise. He didn't have a girlfriend and he was all alone with his Granny.

Maybe he is desperate. Maybe he wants someone to... fill his needs.

Heehee.

Maya Normousbutt decided to maybe send him a picture of her in her slutiest lingerie and ask him if he perhaps wants to go out and drink some coffee with her.

Or stay at her place, probably. The Gorilla Man was still out there, after all.

Maya Normousbutt checked Caesar's Wall and saw that he was the one who posted a comment on his Wall, on April 3rd at 19:56PM.

_'Greetings everyone, and welcome to Caesar Flickerman's profile page!'_

Oh, his formal voice was really making her melt like ice cream in a hot day.

Hmm, ice cream…

President Snow The Sexy Rooster then replied to Caesar's comment.

_'Geez, you're so formal. Want my advice? If you want to connect with the younger, "cooler" kids, say something cool! Here, watch – 'sup, dawgs? Now you try!'_

Maya Normousbutt silently prayed to herself that Caesar won't say those horrible, cursed words.

_'…'sup, dawgs?'_

Maya Normousbutt sighed, but forgave Caesar for listening to the horrible advices of the horrible President Snow. But only because she wanted to go out with him.

President Snow The Sexy Rooster then sent a comment.

_'That is so neat, Flicker! :D'_

...Flicker?

Finnick Odair then joined the conversation.

_'You do realize nobody here says that word, right?'_

President Snow The Sexy Rooster replied to Finnick's comment.

_'You're right… no one here says that! That probably means I became cooler than all of you combined! I feel so totally awesome, yo!'_

Snort.

Caesar Flickerman replied to President Snow The Sexy Rooster's comment.

_'Come on, Snow. We're not "cool" anymore. We're not the young, fit guys that we used to be.'_

President Snow The Sexy Rooster replied quickly.

_'Yeah, I miss being sixty. But I'm still cool! I'm neat, bro! Neat, I tell you!'_

Katniss Everdeen then joined the conversation.

_'What do you mean by 'Neat'? That you're clean and organized? Because I took a bath only a month ago, and feel as clean as a bunny. Does this mean I'm neat too?'_

President Snow The Sexy Rooster replied to her comment.

_'*laughing and shaking his head* Oh, Katniss. You're so stupid. Being neat means being cool. Not being organized! You're so clueless :D'_

Annie Cresta then joined the conversation.

_'I want to interview you, Caesar.'_

Caesar Flickerman replied quickly.

_'Everybody does, sweetheart ;)'_

Oh, his smiley face was really making Maya Normousbutt feel all hot and bothered.

President Snow The Sexy Rooster sent the next comment.

_'Ooh, yes! Let's interview the interviewer! We'll interview him GOOD!'_

And President Snow's comment was making all of those feelings disappear.

Johanna Mason then joined the conversation.

_'*cough*Creep*cough*'_

President Snow The Sexy Rooster replied quickly.

_'Bless you ^^'_

Annie Cresta wrote the next comment.

_'I'll go first – What do you think of the mad hatter in Alice in Wonderland?'_

Caesar Flickerman sent a response.

_'Love his fashion sense :)'_

Katniss Everdeen sent the next question.

_'What do you think of… "Percy Jackson"?'_

Caesar Flickerman answered quickly.

_'A bad combination between Harry Potter, Greek mythology and Narnia.'_

Finnick Odair wrote the third question.

_'What do you think of the "Jersey Shore" cast?'_

Caesar Flickerman answered quickly.

_'Orange body spray is just SO last season! Seriously, blue is all the rage now. They're just so out of date.'_

President Snow The Sexy Rooster asked the fourth question.

_'Ooh, I have a question, I have a question! Whose team are you on – Team Edward… or Team Jacob?'_

Caesar Flickerman answered almost immediately.

_'Team Jacob.'_

And with that answer, Maya Normousbutt lost her attraction to the ninety-year-old desperate man who still lived with his Granny.

Really, why did he have to say this horrible sentence and lose all of his appeal?

President Snow The Sexy Rooster replied almost immediately.

_'WHAT? Are you absolutely MAD?'_

Finnick Odair replied almost instantly.

_'HEY! Don't say that word in front of A-N-N-I-E!'_

President Snow The Sexy Rooster ignored him.

_'Edward is clearly the better choice! He's hot, he sparkles!'_

Johanna Mason replied to President Snow The Sexy Rooster's comment.

_'He's like the lost son of Dracula and Tinkerbelle.'_

SNORT!

Finnick Odair, Caesar Flickerman, Katniss Everdeen and Annie Cresta liked Johanna's comment.

Caesar Flickerman sent the next comment.

_'Sorry, I just… I don't see what the fuss is all about. He's not that hot. Actually, he resembles a Druze house; square and sparkles.'_

Johanna Mason, Finnick Odair and Katniss Everdeen liked Caesar's comment.

President Snow The Sexy Rooster was still fighting back.

_'Oh, yeah? Well, what about Jacob then, ah? I mean, he turns into a huge fury dog, he owns a motorcycle and his last name is Black! Remind you of someone? *cough*Sirius Black!*cough*'_

Caesar Flickerman replied quickly.

_'At least he's cool.'_

Maya Normousbutt shook her head. No. No, he isn't.

President Snow The Sexy Rooster apparently agreed with her.

_'Okay, you know what? You've just got yourself a very powerless enemy! An enemy that already lost all of his poison supply and can't do anything to you, so be aware!'_

Annie Cresta sent the next comment.

_'You know what? I always liked Jasper Hale the best.'_

Maya Normousbutt nodded her head. Finally, someone who made sense!

Katniss Everdeen replied quickly.

_'Yeah, me too.'_

Johanna Mason replied then.

_'Me too.'_

Finnick Odair was the last to agree on the matter.

_'Hale is the best!'_

Caesar Flickerman sent the final comment.

_'…you guys suck.'_

* * *

><p><em>Team Jasper<em> really is the best. LOVE LOVE _LOVE_ Jackson Rathbone! *heart*

Some of you really didn't like what I wrote about Percy Jackson, and asked if this is my real opinion. Okay, so I've never actually read the books. I've only seen the movie. And I hated the movie, it was just so... boring. The only character I liked there was Luke, and it was only because he was so hot. So I based that line about Percy Jackson being a bad combination on the movie, _not_ on the books. My sister actually read the books, she's obsessed with it, she says it's amazing. She has a nice taste, after all she loves everything I love, so yeah, maybe the books are awesome. So, to sum it up, _no_, I didn't read the books, my opinion was based solely on the movie.

Hope you all have a lovely day :)


	20. Katniss is getting cooler

**Katniss is getting cooler**

* * *

><p>President Snow walked slowly in his beautiful garden, smelling the roses and feeling content and happy.<p>

What a wonderfully wonderful day!

President Snow walked a little while longer, savoring the warm breeze, then sat down next to his beautifully decorated table in the middle of the garden and turned on the pink laptop – which was his niece's, obviously not his! – and logged into Facebook.

He felt peaceful, as he smelled the roses and checked his Facebook page.

**_President Snow The Sexy Rooster profile page_**

_Name: President Snow :D_

_Age: I rather not say… *blush*_

_Home: My mansion in the Capitol. One of the privileges of being a president :P_

_Current location: In my garden, smelling roses *heart*_

_Interested in: Smelling roses, chopping roses, throwing roses, eating roses, cutting roses, hitting on roses, smelling like roses, and seeing twelve year old girls getting killed :D_

_In a relationship: Had a wife. She took one of my roses. So I made her drink poison. Which means, I'm single! ^^_

President Snow smiled as he read his lovely profile. He was just such a badass, and it showed perfectly in his wonderfully wonderful profile.

President Snow's smile grew wider when he saw he had one new message on his Wall, and he checked it immediately, always happy to chat with people.

The message was from Katniss Everdeen, and was received on April 9th at 14:37PM.

_'Your love for roses really… creeps me out.'_

President Snow The Sexy Rooster rolled his eyes. Really, that girl just didn't know how precious was the love between a man and his roses.

He decided to teach her a lesson. How dare she say that to the president after all?

_'Shut your Cum Dumpster, you Choad!'_

Heehee.

Katniss Everdeen, apparently, didn't get what he was trying to tell her.

_'…what?'_

President Snow The Sexy Rooster shook his head again. How stupid could she be?

_'*sigh* I forgot you're not as "cool" as me. You should really check out "The Online Slang Dictionary".'_

Katniss Everdeen sent the next comment.

_'Wait, were you cursing me?'_

Well, like all the cool people say, duh!

_'See how important it is, to know, as you kids call it these days, slang words?'_ President Snow The Sexy Rooster wrote, nodding importantly and smelling a few more roses.

Katniss Everdeen replied after a few long minutes.

_'I don't care how you called me. I don't. I really don't.'_

President Snow The Sexy Rooster shrugged his shoulders, not really caring much, and wrote her a response.

_'Okay. If you say so.'_

It took Katniss five minutes to break.

_'…_

_Dammit. I need to know.'_

And with that, Katniss Everdeen left the conversation.

Finnick Odair then joined the conversation.

_'You do realize once she'll find out what it means she'll kill you, right?'_

_'Oh pish posh!'_ President Snow The Sexy Rooster wrote, not feeling intimidated in the slightest.

Peeta Mellark then joined the conversation.

_'What does it mean?'_

Gale Hawthorne joined the conversation too.

_'Already forgot the last time you didn't understand something?'_

President Snow remembered how Peeta didn't know what is a paraphilia and checked it out. He smirked and liked the comment. Johanna Mason and Finnick Odair liked Gale's comment too.

Peeta Mellark replied quickly.

_'*shudders* The meaning of Coprophilia still keeps me up at night.'_

Johanna Mason liked this comment.

Annie Cresta then joined the conversation.

_'President Snow, you remind me of Snow White.'_

Really? Aww, how sweet of her to say that!

President Snow The Sexy Rooster sent her a response.

_'Why, thank you dear! :D'_

Gale Hawthorne apparently didn't see the resemblance between the beautiful Snow White and the Roses-Lover President Snow, who was also an extremely Sexy Rooster.

_'How the hell does President Snow remind you of Snow White?'_

President Snow The Sexy Rooster decided to skip a little in his beautiful garden while humming absentmindedly and picking roses off the ground. After he was done with that, he wrote what he just did, because he just knew everyone wanted to know he was having fun in his garden.

_'*skipping in the garden, humming absentmindedly, picking roses off the ground*'_

Annie Cresta wrote the next comment.

_'His name is Snow. Snow White's name is Snow. Snow White drank poison. President Snow drank poison. Snow White died. President Snow loves killing people. It all matches.'_

Finnick Odair replied to her comment quickly.

_'Good observation, Annie! A shirtless Finnick for you! :)'_

President Snow The Sexy Rooster smiled widely and wrote a reply.

_'Ooh, can I get a shirtless Finnick too? :D'_

It took Finnick Odair 2 seconds to come up with a response.

_'No.'_

President Snow The Sexy Rooster frowned and bit his lower lip.

_'Why not? *pouting* I've been good this year!'_

Finnick Odair didn't buy it.

_'Oh, really?'_

President Snow The Sexy Rooster played with his beard. Well, he _did_ kill those girls… and then that boy… and then the boy and the girl… and of course, how can he forget that poor elephant?

_'…okay, I've been naughty.'_

Katniss Everdeen finally returned to the conversation after checking out 'The Online Slang Dictionary'.

_'President Snow, you f*cking assclown, ding-head, jerk-face, you're a durge, a PITA, you're a complete hairbag!'_

President Snow The Sexy Rooster smiled encouragingly.

_'Good, you're learning! You're getting cooler by the second :P'_

Katniss Everdeen replied quickly and shortly.

_'*facepalm*'_

Johanna Mason was very focused on one curse in particular.

_'Hey, Pita, apparently your name is a curse!'_

Heehee!

President Snow The Sexy Rooster liked Johanna Mason's comment. Gale Hawthorne, Finnick Odair, Katniss Everdeen and Annie Cresta all liked the comment too.

Peeta Mellark didn't like it and sent one last comment.

_'Humph.'_

* * *

><p><strong>PITA actually is a curse. It means Pain In The Ass.<strong>

**_an angry person:_ Ahh... hi. You know, I don't actually hate Peeta. I simply think he's too perfect, but I don't hate him. I know I'm making fun of him a lot in this story, but he's not the only one *cough*President Snow!*cough*. I don't like him, but I don't hate him either.**

**As for Gale, who, as you wrote it, can go die and is the worst thing that happened to the hunger games... well, that's your opinion, I guess. Just don't get angry at me because I like him more than I like Peeta, because I, too, am entitled to have my own opinions. I do agree with you about Jacob though.**

**So! I'd really like to get to 1,300 reviews. We're just so close!**

**If you simply don't know what to write and that's why you don't review, here, let me help you and give you ideas for reviews.**

**You can write this -**

"Oh, Spaidel, you never fail to amaze me with your hilariously hilarious chapters."

**Or -**

"President Snow is just so creepy!"

**Or even -**

"Very good chapter! A shirtless Finnick for you! :D"

**Choose whatever you like.**

**Hope we reach 1,300 reviews, and have a lovely day :)**


	21. Finnicken the cuddly animal

**Finnicken the cuddly animal**

* * *

><p>Maya Normousbutt was still in her house a few weeks later. She didn't dare getting out of it, she was just extremely terrified.<p>

Thank God she didn't work and was naturally rich, because really, she would've been fired a long time ago if she had a work.

Maya Normousbutt ate a doughnut that morning (yes. A doughnut. She was depressed, she just had to eat a doughnut), then her phone rang.

She immediately rose from her seat, feeling shocked.

Someone was calling her.

Her. Maya Normousbutt.

Eeek!

She ran to the phone and held it to her ear excitedly. "Hello, this is Maya Normousbutt, who is this?"

"Oh, Maya," Came the voice of the oh-so-sexy yet oh-so-annoying Scott Buttreeks. He sounded smug. "Didn't see you for a long time. Finally decided that you should stay at home so that no one would see your enormous butt?"

Maya Normousbutt flushed.

"I – Well, you're just – You – I – SHUT UP!" She said loudly and lamely, not knowing what to say back to him and hating herself for not knowing what to say when she most needed to.

Damn her ability to think of awesome answers only after she needed them!

Maya could almost hear Scott's smiling. "Maya, Maya, Maya. Don't you have better insults than that?"

Maya was desperate for a respond. "I – You don't – Your butt is big!"

Maya Normousbutt hung up the phone quickly, then frowned at herself.

Your butt is big?

What a lame line she just said, she thought to herself bitterly as she logged into Facebook.

She checked a few Walls out, then noticed there's a new Wall that's related to the Hunger Games.

Seneca Crane's Beard's Wall.

Oh my.

Maya Normousbutt read his profile quickly, smiling.

**_Seneca Crane's Beard profile page_**

_Name: Seneca Crane's beard._

_Age: Have been on Seneca's face since he was sixteen. You do the math._

_Home: Seneca's house._

_Current location: On Seneca's face, duh._

_Interested in: Growing. Not interested in being shaven._

_In a relationship: I'm made of hair and I'm placed under a nose. I don't have many options._

Maya Normousbutt checked the… beard's, Wall. There was one new comment from Katniss Everdeen. The comment was received on April 15 at 14:09PM.

_'Now someone made a profile page for Seneca's beard? I'm starting to think Facebook is not as trustworthy as I first thought it was.'_

Peeta replied to her quickly.

_'Oh, come on Katniss. Facebook is, like, the safest site ever!'_

Beetee then joined the conversation.

_'You didn't hear about the rapists and the killers on this site that make profile pages to seduce young girls – or young boys, each with his preference – into meeting them?'_

Peeta Mellark posted the next comment.

_'O.O Can… can people do that?'_

Johanna Mason joined the conversation.

_'You're an idiot.'_

Katniss Everdeen, Gale Hawthorne, Beetee, Finnick Odair and Haymitch Abernathy liked her comment.

Primrose Everdeen, apparently, did not.

_'Give him a break, you guys. It's not his fault he's an idiot.'_

Peeta Mellark liked this.

Finnick Odair then joined the conversation.

_'I smile every time I look at Seneca's beard. It's a cool beard. I like it. I want a beard like this.'_

Effie Trinket then joined the conversation.

_'No! Finnick, don't do it, DON'T TRY TO GROW YOURSELF A BEARD! IT WOULD MESS UP WITH YOUR ANGELIC FACE'S PERFECT PROPORTIONS!'_

Annie Cresta sent the next comment.

_'Not to mention how inconvenient it'd be for me. This might stop me from kissing you forever.'_

Effie Trinket took her time to think about it.

_'…_

_On second thought, grow a beard, Finnicken, sweetie.'_

Haymitch Abernathy sent the next comment.

_'It won't increase your non-existent chances with him, Efficken.'_

Finnick Odair, Annie Cresta, Katniss Everdeen, Peeta Mellark, Primrose Everdeen, Beetee and Johanna Mason liked this.

It took Effie Trinket seven minutes to send a response.

_'Shut up.'_

Haymitch Abernathy replied almost immediately.

_'Really? 7 minutes and that's all you can come up with?'_

Johanna Mason replied quickly.

_'Seems like her growing up in the Capitol really did ruin several brain-cells in her not-existed brain.'_

Beetee sent the next comment.

_'This sentence doesn't even make sense. You see, she needs to have a brain to have brain-cells, and if she doesn't, then she can't have brain-cells to begin with.'_

Johanna Mason replied a minute later.

_'I swear to Santana Lopez, I'll chop your head off if you keep talking crap like that.'_

Beetee didn't learn from her warning.

_'It's not crap, I was just explaining to you why your sentence to Effie was incorrect!'_

Johanna Mason sent the next comment.

_'I have my axe in my hand, Volts, and I'm not afraid to use it.'_

Katniss Everdeen then posted a comment too.

_'You always have an axe in your hand.'_

Peeta Mellark and Primrose Everdeen liked this.

Peeta Mellark sent her a comment.

_'Oh, Katniss. My funny loaf *heart*'_

Katniss Everdeen didn't like his comment apparently.

_'*facepalm*'_

Primrose Everdeen posted the next comment.

_'You know, whenever you write the word 'loaf', I imagine you, hitting Katniss repeatedly on the head with bread, saying, 'loaf, loaf, loaf, loaf, loaf…''_

Peeta Mellark replied quickly and shortly.

_'*giggle*'_

Annie Cresta sent the next and final comment.

_'Finnicken reminds me of a cuddly animal.'_

Finnick Odair, Johanna Mason and Effie Trinket liked this.

* * *

><p><strong>Over 1,320 reviews! Eeek! I'm ecstatic :D<strong>

**I now have so many shirtless Finnicks, as well as a shitless Neville Longbottom (Heehee, I love spelling mistakes), and a shirtless and pantless President Snow. Which is… a bit disturbing, but awesome :)**

**_Maimaiwoo_ – Hello :) Thank you so much! Your review made me smile :)  
><strong>**As for 'A Drop in the Ocean'… I'm not finished with this story, but I just don't have the power to finish it. One day I will. I have to, I'm so close to the end of the fic… but right now I really just don't have the power to continue. Sorry :\**

**_Guest who said something about Hell's teeth_ – French! Google Translate really comes in handy at times like this :)**

**Hope you all have a lovely day :)**


	22. The fake Katniss and the real Katniss

**The fake Katniss and the real Katniss**

* * *

><p>Maya Normousbutt could finally get outside after having a deal with the Gorilla Man – he will leave her alone and she in return will shave off her mustache. Apparently he thought it was "long," and "manly," and "incredibly disgusting."<p>

As if!

It was nice and fluffy and utterly adorable.

It took her some time to agree, she grew attached to her beautifully thick mustache and it made her face look more "unique", but it was a small price to pay not to die.

Maya Normousbutt as usual was on Facebook, because seriously, she just couldn't get enough of it, no matter how stupid and boring this website actually was.

She noticed that Peeta commented on Katniss Evergreen's Wall, and so she decided to check it out.

When she got to her profile though she froze in her place and read what's written there, because something just seemed awfully weird.

**_Katniss Evergreen profile page_**

_Name: The one and only – Katniss!_

_Age: 17._

_Home: District Twelve, the Seam._

_Current location: Next to a picture of Peeta! *heart heart heart heart heart*_

_Interested in: Kissing Peeta, hugging Peeta, lusting after Peeta, snuggling against Peeta, eating with Peeta, being with Peeta, Peeta, Peeta, Peeta! *heart*_

_In a relationship: Married to my sweet Peeta! Am the happiest girl ALIVE! Peeta is MINE!_

Yep, something was not right.

Maya then decided to read what Peeta wrote in his comment, which he posted on April 27 at 13:21PM.

_'OMG, Katniss, you finally realized you LOAF ME! :D'_

Katniss Evergreen immediately wrote a response.

_'Oh, Peeta, I sure did. I loaf you so, so much. You're the loaf of my life!'_

Peeta Mellark was very excited by that.

_'*wipes tears from his eyes* I thought this day will never come!'_

Katniss Evergreen wrote another quick reply.

_'Are you kidding me? Peeta, I was in loaf with you since you threw me that bread so many years ago!'_

Gale Hawthorne then decided to join this awfully weird conversation.

_'WHAT! What the hell, Catnip? Only yesterday you told me you want the bread-boy to leave you alone!'_

Katniss Evergreen, who overnight fell for Peeta, apparently wasn't that crazy about Gale.

_'Yuck, Gale! I HATE YOU! Team Peeta for life! You killed my sister! I HATE YOU!'_

Maya Normousbutt was completely confused. That was NOT the Katniss she stalked and adored.

Gale Hawthorne was apparently really annoyed by her comment.

_'I did not kill Prim! I just helped making the bombs, I didn't send them! Why are you blaming me for that!'_

Katniss Evergreen was still angry and irrational and completely un-Katniss.

_'BECAUSE I HATE YOU!'_

FoxFace then joined the conversation.

_'Aren't you his best friend?'_

Katniss Evergreen posted the next comment.

_'Not after I fell for Peeta! Gale is just standing in my way!'_

Peeta Mellark replied to her comment.

_'That must be the happiest day of my life!'_

Cato The Sexy Buffalo then joined the conversation.

_'Something's not right here. When did Katniss start acting so... in love?'_

Mrs. Everdeen then joined the conversation.

_'I must say, I'm pleased she's finally accepting her feelings for Peeta! Shows that she actually has emotions other than anger and depression deep inside of her.'_

Peeta Mellark, who was having the best day of his life, wrote the next comment.

_'I wrote a song for you, Katniss! ^^'_

Haymitch Abernathy wrote exactly what Maya was thinking in her mind.

_'Oh, no.'_

Peeta Mellark ignored him.

_'"All you need is loaf… all you need is loaf… all you need is loaf! Loaf… loaf is all you need…" I wrote it just for you!'_

Katniss Evergreen replied immediately.

_'OMG! *dies from the awesomeness that is Peeta Mellark*'_

Cato The Sexy Buffalo wasn't feeling the same way as Katniss Evergreen.

_'Oh, dear God…'_

Katniss Evergreen was apparently extremely excited.

_'PEETA, YOU'RE THE AWESOMEST, MOST TALENTED GUY TO EVER WALK ON THIS PLANET! I LOAF YOU!'_

Katniss Everdeen posted the next comment.

_'WAIT A MINUTE!'_

…wait, what?

Haymitch Abernathy was apparently as confused as Maya Normousbutt was.

_'Is Katniss really in this conversation twice? Am I seeing double?'_

_'Probably,'_ Was Foxface's response.

Katniss Everdeen wrote the next comment.

_'The one writing all those things about me loving Peeta is NOT ME!'_

_'I KNEW IT!'_ Gale Hawthorne wrote immediately.

Peeta Mellark was confused.

_'*scratches head, confused* what are you talking about, Katniss loaf?'_

Katniss Evergreen then wrote the next comment.

_'Nothing! I'm the REAL Katniss!'_

And Katniss Everdeen wrote the comment after that.

_'Shut up, you… imposter!'_

Haymitch Abernathy wrote the next comment.

_'Yeah, that'll show her.'_

Katniss Evergreen, Gale Hawthorne, Cato The Sexy Buffalo and Foxface all liked this comment.

_'I'm the real Katniss!'_ Katniss Evergreen wrote.

_'No, I'm the real Katniss!'_ Katniss Everdeen sent.

_'Tell her, Peeta!'_ Katniss Everdeen and Katniss Evergreen wrote together. Not that it was possible, of course, but oh well.

Peeta Mellark replied after a few minutes of silence.

_'O.O'_

Gale Hawthorne sent the next comment.

_'I think you just scared the hell out of him.'_

_'No, I know how to sort this out!'_ Peeta Mellark wrote, apparently finding a solution to the problem.

Katniss Everdeen wasn't impressed.

_'Seriously? Her username isn't even my real name! Evergreen, really?'_

Peeta Mellark replied quickly.

_'Okay, "Katniss", if that's even your real name… -'_

_'Humph.'_ Katniss Everdeen sent.

Peeta Mellark continued with his comment.

_'- I'll ask you a question; the one that gives me the right answer will be declared as the real Katniss.'_

Katniss Everdeen, again, wasn't impressed.

_'You're stupid.'_

Cato The Sexy Buffalo sent the next comment.

_'Way to suck up to the judge, Katniss.'_

Haymitch Abernathy, Foxface and Gale Hawthorne liked this comment.

Katniss Evergreen was, apparently, extremely impressed with Peeta Mellark and his genius ideas.

_'*I loaf Peeta heart heart heart*'_

Peeta Mellark sent the next comment.

_'*heart back to Katniss Evergreen* Okay, so the question is… What is my worst fear?'_

Katniss Evergreen replied quickly.

_'Your worst fear is that I'd die!'_

Peeta Mellark replied shortly.

_'No.'_

Katniss Evergreen tried again.

_'That the Capitol would rise again?'_

Peeta Mellark was, again, writing a short response.

_'Nope.'_

Katniss Evergreen was on her third try now.

_'To see me and *gag* Gale together?'_

Peeta Mellark replied quickly.

_'*shakes head*'_

Katniss Everdeen then wrote her answer.

_'To be eaten by a seventy-pound Gingerbread man.'_

Peeta Mellark replied quickly.

_'That is correct!'_

Gale Hawthorne wrote the next comment.

_'You're pathetic.'_

Katniss Evergreen replied almost immediately to Gale's disrespectful comment.

_'Shut it, Hawthorne! TEAM PEETA!'_

Katniss Everdeen wrote the next comment.

_'Ha! So now you all see who the REAL Katniss Everdeen is! Take that, Evergreen!'_

Foxface posted the next comment.

_'I think you should block that Evergreen girl, Peeta. So that you won't get confused.'_

Peeta Mellark replied to her comment.

_'Yeah, you're right.'_

_'Of course I'm right,'_ Was Foxface's reply.

Katniss Everdeen wrote the next comment.

_'Told you she was an imposter! She's not nearly as good as me! Ha! Go to hell, imposter!'_

And then a message appeared on Peeta's Wall.

_'- **Peeta Mellark Activity:** Peeta Mellark has blocked Katniss Everdeen.'_

Maya Normousbutt frowned at the screen. Did he get confused again?

Gale Hawthorne wrote the next comment.

_'…you do realize you blocked the wrong one, right?'_

Peeta Mellark replied quickly.

_'Yep. I prefer this Katniss WAY better.'_

Cato The Sexy Buffalo, Katniss Evergreen, Foxface and Haymitch Abernathy liked Peeta's comment.

* * *

><p><strong>I wrote the word 'loaf' so many times in this chapter. Seriously, now whenever I write the word love I want to write loaf instead. Peeta is a bad influence.<strong>

**So, I'm going to ask you a question that really has nothing to do with this fic.**

**Have any of you seen the video "Harry Potter in 99 seconds" by Paint? I've seen it today for the first time, and seriously, it's one of the best things I've ever seen or heard. That guy is so talented, I'm seriously half in love with him.**

**Not that you care, of course. But I just had to write about it right now in my Author Note, because I just loved loved _loved_ this video. If you haven't seen it, which I doubt, it has over 10 million views, then watch it now. It's brilliant. Even my mom loved it.**

**Anyways! Hope you all have a lovely day :)**


	23. Want to participate in The Hunger Games?

**Want to participate in The Hunger Games?**

* * *

><p>Maya Normousbutt woke up early to the sound of someone sawing things.<p>

Knowing who was sawing and what he might do to her if she'd tell him politely to shut up and stop annoying everyone, she decided to just go to her computer and try to ignore the loud noises.

She wouldn't get any sleep with the sounds of The Gorilla Man's chainsaw.

She looked at her profile first (no new message), sighed and started looking at other people's Walls.

She stopped when she got to Seneca Crane's Wall and saw that there was a new message.

**_Seneca Crane profile page_**

_Name: Seneca Crane. Not his beard, but the REAL, HUMAN, Seneca Crane._

_Age: 73._

_Home: The Capitol._

_Current location: In the Gamemakers room._

_Interested in: Hunger Games, making deadly mutts, killing tributes, setting trees on fire, setting Katniss on fire, setting random things on fire._

_In a relationship: Am committed to the games. Have no need of a wife._

The new message was actually from Seneca Crane himself, and was received on May 6 at 10:22AM.

_'Hello, citizens of Panem! It's Seneca Crane here, calling for all of you to come and participate in the 1,037th Hunger Games!'_

Maya Normousbutt squealed and clapped her hands enthusiastically. Oh, how she loved those Games! It was way better than Survivor, because in this TV show, people died.

That's just good TV.

Glimmer Loves Glitters then joined the conversation, and Maya Normousbutt knew she was going to suffer her unreadable writing.

_'OMG, Seenacea I wud Luv to cum!'_

_'Heehee,'_ Haymitch Abernathy sent.

Maya Normousbutt rolled her eyes. So immature.

Johanna Mason then joined the conversation.

_'Seriously? You thought what she said was funny? I thought it was sad.'_

Katniss Everdeen sent her a reply.

_'*shakes head* No, he laughed because she wrote the word 'cum'.'_

_'Heehee,'_ Haymitch Abernathy sent.

Annie Cresta sent the next comment.

_'What is 'cum'?'_

Finnick Odair sent a quick reply.

_'I'll show you at home.'_

Maya Normousbutt blinked, then felt jealous.

No fair. Why did Annie get to see that, but she didn't?

Just because she was a 50 something year old stalker with a cute fluffy mustache on her upper lip and they have never met?

Seriously.

Cato The Sexy Buffalo then joined the conversation.

_'Yuck! Disgusting.'_

Maya Normousbutt shook her head. Not disgusting. _Magical_.

Seneca Crane posted the next comment.

_'Anyway… Write to me here if you want to participate!'_

A girl whose name was Sevine Laightone Ebony Darkness Polish Black Selene Yogurt (oh God), sent a reply.

_'I'd love to participate!'_

Seneca Crane replied quickly.

_'Great! Just tell me a bit about yourself.'_

Sevine Laightone Ebony Darkness Polish Black Selene Yogurt took her time to reply.

_'Okay… I'm an only child, I'm seventeen, I'm strong and hot and everyone loves me. I don't know why, sometimes I wish people would stop loving me so much! Why wasn't I born just stunningly hot, and had to be born an amazing, beautifully talented girl!'_

_'*cough*Mary-Sue*cough*'_ Katniss Everdeen sent.

Sevine Laightone Ebony Darkness Polish Black Selene Yogurt continued writing about herself.

_'My dad raped me. So I killed him. But then my mother got upset because I killed him, so I brought him back to life. He didn't like me much after that incident. So I killed him again. I killed my mom too. I was very sad. I started slitting my wrists, but it took, like, FOREVER for the blood to dry, so I decided to read a book while my wrists were healing. I'm Goth. I hate preps.'_

Annie Cresta replied after a few long minutes.

_'O.O'_

Seneca Crane replied a second after Annie replied.

_'GREAT! YOU ARE GOING TO PARTICIPATE IN THE 1,037TH HUNGER GAMES!'_

Glimmer Loves Glitters wrote yet another awfully awful comment.

_'Im SOO happy fr U, Sevine Laightone Ebony Darkness Polish Black Selene Yogurt! Lit's form a grup & cum tugethr to the Anger Gems!'_

_'Heehee,'_ Haymitch sent.

Johanna Mason replied to Glimmer Loves Glitters' comment.

_'Your writing is seriously damaging my brain.'_

Cato The Sexy Buffalo, Katniss Everdeen, Annie Cresta, Finnick Odair and Seneca Crane liked this.

A new guy, I Love Bob The Builder, joined the conversation.

_'I'd love to participate in the hunger games!'_

Seneca Crane replied to his comment quickly.

_'Great! Tell me about yourself.'_

I Love Bob The Builder sent the next comment.

_'I'm a boy. My name is Bob. I'm a fan of Bob the Builder. My parents died, I got married, divorced, and I'm a widower. I have eleven kids, most of them from my first marriage.'_

Seneca Crane posted the next comment.

_'Excellent! Just… how old are you?'_

I Love Bob The Builder replied quickly.

_'Fourteen.'_

Finnick Odair sent the next comment.

_'Are you kidding me?'_

I Love Bob The Builder replied after a few seconds.

_'I'm very mature for my age.'_

Seneca Crane sent the next comment.

_'You sure are! And you just got accepted to participate in the 1,037th Hunger Games! Congrats!'_

Glimmer Loves Glitters sent the next comment.

_'Mi torn!'_

Johanna Mason quickly sent a comment.

_'Oh dear God.'_

Maya Normousbutt took a deep breath and prepared herself for the horribleness that is Glimmer's writing.

Glimmer Loves Glitters sent the next comment.

_'Am 17 yirs uld. I LUV gliiiters & sparkes & I kan kiil pepole!'_

Seneca Crane replied quickly.

_'That's great! But, do you have a sad background story? Something devastating or interesting?'_

Glimmer Loves Glitters replied to Seneca's comment.

_'NNNOOOOOO!'_

_'...Glimmer roared angrily,'_ Cato The Sexy Buffalo sent.

Katniss Everdeen, Haymitch Abernathy, Annie Cresta, Finnick Odair, Johanna Mason, I Love Bob The Builder and Sevine Laightone Ebony Darkness Polish Black Selene Yogurt liked this.

Seneca Crane sent the next comment.

_'Really? Nothing serious? No one raped you, you didn't discover you were a lesbian and was devastated because of it? Nothing?'_

Glimmer Loves Glitters replied quickly.

_'Noo, I hd the bast childhud eva!'_

Seneca Crane posted his comment a minute later.

_'*sigh* then I'm sorry, but you're not what we're looking for.'_

Katniss Everdeen sent the next comment.

_'Okay, what the hell! Just because she doesn't have a sad, heartbreaking story, then she's not allowed to participate in this Games?'_

Seneca Crane replied to Katniss's comment.

_'…yep, that sounds about right.'_

Katniss Everdeen quickly replied.

_'But the Bob's fan and the crazy girl that decided to read a book while slitting her wrists just made that stuff up! That's so obvious!'_

Seneca Crane sent the next comment.

_'Maybe so… but they'd make great TV.'_

Johanna Mason replied to his comment.

_'You guys working on reality shows are sickening me.'_

Finnick Odair, Annie Cresta, Glimmer Loves Glitters, Haymitch Abernathy, Cato The Sexy Buffalo and Katniss Everdeen liked this.

_'I was abducted by aliens!' _The Green Creature sent.

_'SPLENDID! YOU JUST GOT ACCEPTED TO PARTICIPATE IN THE HUNGER GAMES!'_ Seneca Crane replied happily.

Katniss Everdeen sent the final comment.

_'Humph.'_

* * *

><p><strong>Heehee, cum... I'm as immature as Haymitch. Seriously. It's like, I have to laugh when I hear the song "Glad you came". I'm extremely immature.<strong>

**And I know Seneca Crane is not supposed to be 73 years old. I know it. But when I think about the people in the Capitol I think about plastic surgeries and how they hate old people because their beauty fades. So everyone I'm writing about from the Capitol is old. Including Seneca.**

**Hope you enjoyed the chapter and have a lovely day :)**


	24. Effie Trinket's lady bits are blowing up

**Effie Trinket's lady bits are blowing up!**

* * *

><p><em>'You have 1 new message'.<em>

Maya Normousbutt looked at the sentence that appeared on her computer, shocked, for at least ten minutes.

And then she squealed. Loudly.

It was just beyond amazing. A new message? _She_ has a new message?

Oh, what a happy day!

She immediately checked the new message, feeling happy and popular and excited.

That is, until she read what was written in that message.

_'Miss Normousbutt, we're pleased to inform you that after spending more than 2,500 Capitol Coins in "Doughnut for everyone", you receive 1 Capitol Coin. Hurray and congrats!'_

Humph.

Well, it was still a message, so Maya was happy.

She checked some of her favorite Hunger Games characters' Walls, and decided to stop at Foxface's Wall, one of her favorite characters ever.

**_Foxface profile page_**

_Name: Sha'Nay Nay Shataniana._

_Age: 16._

_Home: District Five._

_Current location: Next to the computer._

_Interested in: Reading, being smart and intelligent, outsmart the other tributes, dancing between mines._

_In a relationship: No :(_

There was one new comment on her Wall, from Katniss Everdeen, and it was received on May 18 at 14:59PM.

_'Wow. Sha'Nay Nay… It's just… Wow. I did not know that was your name.'_

Foxface replied quickly.

_'Yeah, well you never bothered learning it, ah, Girl on Fire? Because of you, now everyone will remember me as Foxface instead of Sha'Nay Nay Shataniana!'_

Katniss Everdeen replied to Foxface's comment.

_'You're welcome.'_

Foxface sent the next comment.

_'Humph.'_

Peeta Mellark then joined the conversation.

_'Katniss, loaf!'_

Katniss Everdeen has left the conversation.

Primrose Everdeen then joined the conversation.

_'Still hates you, ah?'_

Peeta Mellark sent the next comment.

'Yeah. I don't know what to do! How can I be so foolish and choose Katniss Evergreen instead of Katniss Everdeen? I met Katniss Evergreen, and let me tell you, she had a _little "Katniss Junior" down there between her legs, if you know what I mean.'_

_'I don't know what you mean.'_ Primrose Everdeen sent.

_'Me neither,'_ Annie Cresta wrote.

Finnick Odair sent the next comment.

_'And it's good that you don't. So, you met a person you met online? Are you a complete idiot?'_

Peeta Mellark replied after a few seconds.

_'Well…'_

_'Don't answer that.'_ Finnick Odair sent.

Peeta Mellark sent the next comment.

_'How could I have known that Katniss Evergreen was a middle aged, creepy man? I had no idea! And you know something else? He didn't look even the slightest bit like Katniss!'_

_'Shocking.'_ Haymitch Abernathy sent.

Finnick Odair, Peeta Mellark, Annie Cresta, Primrose Everdeen, Effie Trinket and FoxFace liked this.

Peeta Mellark sent the next comment.

_'I KNOW! I was so disappointed, I cried.'_

Gale Hawthorne then joined the conversation.

_'Katniss will never forgive you! She's not the one to forget! HA! Now I'm her only option!'_

Peeta Mellark replied rather quickly.

_'*sob sob*'_

Effie Trinket then joined the conversation.

_'OMG, you guys would never guess what just happened!'_

_'Nor do we want to know.'_ Haymitch Abernathy wrote.

Finnick Odair, Annie Cresta, FoxFace, Primrose Everdeen and Gale Hawthorne liked this.

Effie Trinket replied after a few long minutes.

_'-.-_

_So, anyway. I had to heat up some of my lady bits for my father, and it all blew up in his face!'_

Foxface sent the next comment.

_'…_

_I don't even know how to respond to that announcement.'_

Annie Cresta, Peeta Mellark, Haymitch Abernathy, Gale Hawthorne, Finnick Odair and Primrose Everdeen liked this.

Effie Trinket replied quickly.

_'Left overs. I meant left overs. My God, this stupid IPhone. It keeps automatically guessing incorrect words.'_

Haymitch Abernathy sent the next comment.

_'So no blown up lady bits for your hungry father? Disappointing.'_

Gale Hawthorne and Finnick Odair liked this.

Foxface sent the next comment.

_'Should I be concerned, that IPhones know the word lady bits but don't know the word left overs?'_

Gale Hawthorne wrote a reply.

_'Oh, the technology these days…'_

Effie Trinket apparently agreed with them.

_'Yeah, this thing totally sucks. But I have a great case for it, it's all pink, and it has a picture of a penis on it!'_

_'Ooh, where did you buy it from? ;P'_ Peeta Mellark sent.

Effie Trinket replied quickly.

_'I meant peacock. Jeez. I truly hate this piece of Shakira.'_

Effie Trinket sent another comment, which was also the last comment in this conversation.

_'Oh fudge it.'_

* * *

><p><strong>Took the idea of the Autocorrect from Ellen :)<strong>

**I hate Autocorrect. I mean, when I write "I didn't eat", and it automatically changes it to, "I didn't elephant", you just know there's something wrong with it. I have no idea how to deactivate it though, so I'm stuck with it.**

***sigh***

**On another note…**

**I'M GOING TO HUNGARY! :D**

**Finally, a vacation. I deserve one. And yay, Hungary! I've never been there before. I'm so happy right now :D**

**I'm leaving today, so no more updates until I return.**

**In two months.**

**…**

**Just kidding. Only four days. How lame is that?**

**Oh well. It's still a vacation, so I'm fine with that.**

**Oh, and yesterday I found out that Sam Claflin _might_ play the brilliant Finnick Odair in Catching Fire.**

**I didn't know who he is until yesterday, but my God, he's SO HOT!**

**He has dimples. That's just so amazing. I love dimples, and he has dimples, and I love it.**

**I just love dimples.**

**So I'm extremely happy that maybe he'd get cast as Finnick. Maybe.**

**_Random Quote:_**

My little three-year-old cousin walks into the room, looking very pleased with herself.

Her mother: Why are you so happy, sweetie?

My cousin: I'M STRONGER THAN CATS!

**My God, little kids. I truly don't understand the way their mind works.**

**Hope you all have a lovely day :)**


	25. Discovering Fanfiction

**Discovering Fanfiction**

* * *

><p>Maya Normousbutt didn't expect to see Scott Buttreeks when she opened her front door after hearing a knock. To be honest, she didn't expect to see anyone familiar. She thought it surely had to be a mistake.<p>

But no. Scott Buttreeks was standing there, purple and stiff, and looked at her blankly.

She blinked.

"I ran out of milk," Scott Buttreeks said after a few long moments of silence.

"Oh," Maya Normousbutt said dumbly.

"Can I take some of yours?" He asked, shifting uneasily in his place. He hated to rely on others.

Maya Normousbutt blinked again. "Ahh…" God, Maya Normousbutt thought to herself, say something and don't just stare at him! "...y-yes." Very Good, Maya Normousbutt!

Scott Buttreeks nodded and looked at her expectantly.

"Well?" He said finally, raising an orange eyebrow.

"Well what?" Maya Normousbutt asked.

"The milk?"

Maya Normousbutt wanted to die from embarrassment. "Oh," She said dumbly. "Right."

Stupid, stupid, stupid!

After he walked away with three bottles of milk (Maya didn't want him to be in a loss of milk, after all), she kicked herself mentally. Because she hated Scott Buttreeks, and she just gave him three bottles of her milk.

_Her_ milk!

She shook her head at her eagerness to please Scott Buttreeks, then moved to the computer to read some comments and messages of other people, because she didn't have any of her own.

There was a new comment on Ripper's Wall, and Maya Normousbutt went to check it.

**_Ripper Profile Page_**

_Name: Ripper._

_Age: 40._

_Home: District Twelve._

_Current location: In my shop._

_Interested in: Drinking, selling drinks, and Haymitch ;)_

_In a relationship: No._

The comment was from Gale Hawthorne, and it was received on May 22 at 13:09PM.

_'Who the hell are you?'_

Ripper sent the next comment.

_'I'm Ripper. The woman who sells alcohol to the amazing Haymitch ;)'_

Haymitch Abernathy then joined the conversation.

_'God bless you.'_

Gale Hawthorne sent the next comment.

_'But you're from District Twelve. How come I don't remember you?'_

Ripper's next comment was received at 13:13PM.

_'Suzanne Collins barely mentioned me in the books. *humph* You know that there's only one fanfics about me in Fanfiction? Seriously! Even Buttercup has more fanfics about him than me, and he's a freaking cat!'_

_'Mew.'_ Buttercup sent.

Katniss Everdeen then joined the conversation.

_'What the hell is Fan Fiction?'_

Peeta Mellark answered her question.

_'Fan fiction is a broadly-defined term for fan labor regarding stories about characters or settings written by fans of the original work, rather than by the original creator. There's a website, called Fanfiction dot net. You should check it out. You have NO IDEA how many stories there are about us! *heart* There are a lot of loafly people out there.'_

_'Oh no.'_ Was Katniss's reply to that.

_'Oh yes!'_ Peeta sent back happily.

Gale Hawthorne then posted the next comment.

_'Really? There's a website dedicated for stories written by fans? I want to see what people think of me! I bet they all just _LOVE_ me!'_

Ripper sent the next comment.

_'…no. No, they don't.'_

Katniss Everdeen sent the next comment five minutes later.

_'I CAN'T BELIEVE IT! Only four stories about me and Thresh, and 4,914 about me and Peeta? WHY!'_

Gale Hawthorne was the next one to post a comment.

_'Only 1,185 stories about me and Katniss? COME ON, PEOPLE!'_

President Snow The Sexy Rooster then sent a comment of his own.

_'NO STORIES ABOUT ME AND CATO? THAT'S AN ABOMINATION!'_

Peeta Mellark then sent the next comment.

_'Here, Katniss loaf, I'll send you some of the best fanfics on Fanfiction!'_

Katniss Everdeen sent the next comment a few minutes later.

_'Ahh… Peeta?'_

_'Yes, Katniss dear?'_ Peeta sent.

_'They're all about you and Gale.'_ Katniss wrote.

Gale Hawthorne sent the next comment.

_'O.O There are… there are fanfics about… _us_?'_

Peeta Mellark then sent the next comment.

_'*nodding* Yep. 179 fanfics. Want me to send you some of my favorites?'_

Johanna Mason then joined the conversation.

_'Oh, Peeta. You never fail to entertain me.'_

_'Why, thank you! :D'_ Peeta Mellark wrote happily.

Katniss Everdeen then sent the next comment.

_'Oh, dear God. What the hell is that thing! "Katniss woke up and felt a sharp pain between her legs. She looked down, and noticed she grew a 'Katniss Junior' down there during the night. She's a boy. She is now a he. Boy!Katniss." WHAT THE HELL!'_

Peeta Mellark sent a quick, excited reply.

_'Ooh I loaf this kind of fanfictions! You know, Boy!Katniss, Female!Peeta. Really shows me what would've happened differently if I was a girl and you were a boy.'_

_'What would've happened differently in the story then?'_ Ripper asked.

It took Peeta a few long minutes to think about his answer and post it.

_'Ahh… nothing, really.'_

Gale Hawthorne sent the next comment.

_'Then why would people want to add Katniss equipment between her legs and give Peeta a pair of boobs?'_

President Snow The Sexy Rooster replied quickly to Gale's question.

_'Because Boy!Katniss is way hotter than Boy!Peeta and Girl!Peeta is way hotter than Girl!Katniss. Jeez, Hawthorne, it's not _that_ hard to understand.'_

Cato The Sexy Buffalo sent the next comment.

_'Why are there so many fics about me and Peeta?'_

_'There are? :D'_ Peeta Mellark asked excitedly.

Maya Normousbutt smiled. Oh, she just loved those fanfics about Peeta and Cato. Those were the best.

President Snow The Sexy Rooster, apparently, didn't agree with her.

_'Okay, this must change. I'm going to start writing some stories about me and Cato RIGHT NOW! There is no way that Fanfiction will lack the sexiness of me and Cato as a couple!'_

_'Oh sh*t.'_ Was Cato The Sexy Buffalo's response.

Haymitch Abernathy then sent the next comment.

_'Just found a fanfic about me and Peeta! I don't know what that M under the description of the story means, but that won't stop me from reading that story!'_

Heehee.

_'He's going to regret it.'_ Ripper sent.

Katniss Everdeen, Cato The Sexy Buffalo, President Snow The Sexy Rooster, Johanna Mason and Gale Hawthorne liked this.

Johanna Mason sent the next comment.

_'Haha, I LOVE the stories about me! I'm such a badass!'_

_'That's one way to look at yourself…'_ Katniss Everdeen sent in reply.

Haymitch Abernathy then rejoined the conversation after reading the M rated fic.

_'Oh. Dear. Lord. I think my nightmares are going to get worse now.'_

Ripper sent a quick, comforting reply.

_'Oh, my poor baby! Was it that bad?'_

Haymitch Abernathy immediately replied.

_'*shudders* There are some people with a very sick imagination out there.'_

Peeta Mellark sent the next comment.

_'I know. And it's so totally awesome! ^^'_

President Snow The Sexy Rooster sent a comment a few minutes later.

_'DONE! Check it out, Cato, I wrote a fanfic about us! Its name is, 'The Rooster, The Buffalo And The Three Baboons'!'_

Cato The Sexy Buffalo sent the last comment.

_'I thought that my suffer ended after Katniss killed me. I guess I was wrong.'_

* * *

><p><strong>Am so tired. My flight was at 1 am and I didn't sleep at all.<strong>

**And then, when my family and I finally got back to our house, we saw that our ceiling was on the floor.**

**I'm not kidding. **

**The plaster of the ceiling in our living room fell to the ground.**

**I didn't even know it was possible until today.**

**Ugh. That was _not_ a pleasant surprise.**

**But Hungary was awesome and I had so much fun in there! Budapest is seriously the most beautiful city I've ever seen. The architecture of the buildings and houses is incredible, so, as an artist, it was just amazing to see it.**

**Me and my family were in a group of other Israelis tourists, so we all walked with our tourist guy to some of the more important buildings in Budapest, and when he told us in Hebrew about the history of those buildings I always looked at the people passing by us. They all gave us "…the fuck are they saying?" looks.**

**It was so funny.**

**Oh, and you wouldn't believe it.**

**I saw a mini Alexander Ludwig! :D**

**Seriously, a four-year-old boy who looks just like Alexander Ludwig.**

**I started blabbering to my family on and on about how much he looks like Cato and how awesome is that and how hot he is. In the end, my little sister looked at me weirdly and said, "You're a pedophile."**

***roll eyes* Oh, please. So what if he's only four years old? He looks just like Cato! That's so awesome! :D**

**_Random Quote:_**

My art teacher showed us the painting 'The Dance' by Matisse.

Teacher: So, do any of you have any questions about the painting?

My friend: Yes. Why is it so ugly?

**Heehee XD**

**Hope you enjoyed the chapter, and have a lovely day :)**


	26. Glimmer is a tulanted gurl

**Glimmer is a tulanted gurl**

* * *

><p>Glimmer was a… special girl. Really, there was no other way to describe her.<p>

She was just… special.

"MUMMY! Deed U si mi SPARKLY Pink nail poolash?!"

Just… special.

"No, sweetie. I didn't see it."

Glimmer sighed heavily and sat down in front of her computer. "Eye woont it!"

Her mother didn't answer her, and Glimmer rolled her eyes. Man, her Mom was sometimes just so difficult to understand!

"OOOOH, a neW missagE!"

Glimmer happily read her profile again before actually reading her new message. She only rewrote her profile yesterday, and she didn't get the chance to see if there are any spelling mistakes or anything.

**_Glimmer Loves Glitters Profile Page_**

_Name: Glimmer! Im da prettiest gurl eva! *heart*_

_Age: 17 :D_

_Home: Disstrikt One, wid all de jelriws und SPARKSS!_

_Current location: at mi hous :)_

_Interested in: shuping, gosseping, applying neil pulesh! FUN FUN FUN!_

_In a relationship: Imma single, beatufle gurl. I nead a man, ASAP!_

Nope. Not a single mistake.

"Im SSSOOO aousom!"

She really was.

She then read the new message on her Wall. It was from Johanna Mason ("_Juanny Misun_?") and was received on May 29 at 19:08PM.

_'You're an idiot. You really are. A f*cking retarded.'_

Glimmer frowned at the message.

"Stoopid Juanny Misun," She said, annoyed with the stupid girl who couldn't even write properly. Really, what was that asterisk in the middle of the sentence?

And she calls _her_ an idiot.

Humph.

Glimmer Loves Glitters wrote her a well-thought reply.

_'Sht up! I'll bluck u!'_

_'Please, block me! I seriously don't give a sh*t!'_

Again with the asterisk. Could that girl even write?

Glimmer Loves Glitters wrote the next comment.

_'Okey, I wiil!_

_…_

_…_

_How du u bluck pepule?'_

Cato The Sexy Buffalo then joined the conversation.

_'*facepalm*'_

Glimmer raised an eyebrow. What did that even mean?

Cashmere was the next one to join the awesome conversation on Glimmer Loves Glitters' Wall.

_'Okay, Glimmer honey, you need to stop being so stupid. You're a Career. Careers are smart and intelligent.'_

Beetee replied quickly.

_'Well…'_

_'Shut it Beetee.'_ Cashmere sent.

Glimmer Loves Glitters wrote the next comment.

_'How kan I bi smurtt?'_

Gloss, Cashmere's brother, joined the conversation.

_'First, stop with the grammar mistakes.'_

Glimmer lifted her eyebrows in surprise.

_'Wat grumer mistukes?'_

Cashmere sent the next comment a few moments later.

_'*scratches head* this is worse than I thought. She isn't even aware of her oh-so-many mistakes.'_

Marvel AKA The-Guy-That-Killed-Rue then joined the conversation.

_'I think you should just give up. You don't know how many times I tried to teach her how to talk in proper English.'_

"Honey! I found your nail polish!"

Glimmer, who was getting bored with the conversation, jumped in her place happily. "Oh YAY! Am huppy! Horey, horey, horey!"

Her mom handed her the nail polish, then walked away. She was a scientist and learned things about light speed and space and whatever.

BORING!

Glimmer started applying the nail polish, happy at how sparkly and pink it was.

She looked at the conversation again, and saw that Blight sent the next comment.

_'What? How can she even speak in grammatical errors?'_

Marvel AKA The-Guy-That-Killed-Rue sent the next comment.

_'You'd be surprised to know just how talented she is.'_

Glimmer Loves Glitters, being the talented girl that she was, decided to write to her fellow Careers and Blight what she was doing and saying. Because she was awesome like that.

_'*applying glittery nail polish* Let's poonch, Kap'n Crunch, den vi'll eet hes fase 4 lunch…'_

_'… yeah, she's talented all right.'_ Blight sent in response. Glimmer smiled. Aww, how sweet of him to say that!

Gloss then sent the next comment.

'_*sigh* I guess you're right. Let's just skip the whole "Let's make her an intelligent and sophisticated Career" and just go straight into the "Let's turn her into such a ruthless killing machine that no one would care just how stupid she is."'_

Glimmer Loves Glitters sent another comment explaining what she was doing.

_'*still applying nail polish* …tik tuk, fund a rok, gonnna nok dis poser's soks uff. WHOAA! THEYR PORPLE! WOHAHAA!'_

Cashmere replied to Gloss's comment quickly.

_'I think that's a good plan.'_

Cato The Sexy Buffalo sent the next comment.

_'But who will teach her? We need someone that is so good, he'll make her at least half a worthy Career!'_

Enobaria My-Teeth-Belong-In-Your-Neck then joined the conversation.

_'Did someone say… Enobaria?'_

Blight sent a quick reply.

_'…no, actually. You just interrupted the conversation all by yourself.'_

_'Shut it or I'll bite you!'_ Enobaria My-Teeth-Belong-In-Your-Neck wrote angrily.

Blight sent the next comment.

_'Okay… ? I think I'm missing something here… Can someone enlighten me, please?'_

Cashmere wrote a quick reply.

_'That's Enobaria. She won the 62nd hunger games after ripping open another tribute's throat. With her teeth.'_

Blight sent the next comment.

_'Oh. Now I get it.'_

The next comment was from Enobaria My-Teeth-Belong-In-Your-Neck.

_'So, Glimmer, I'm here to teach you everything I know about killing people.'_

Glimmer Loves Glitters wrote a quick reply as she let her nails dry.

_'Im bord!'_

Enobaria My-Teeth-Belong-In-Your-Neck sent a reply to Glimmer Loves Glitters' comment.

_'Suck it up. Anyways, if you don't have any weapon anywhere near you, you can always use your teeth. Or even when you have your weapon with you, teeth are great. People should use them more often. So, you just need to get close to your victim… and prepare your teeth… and sink them into this person's flesh! *smiling happily*'_

_'Yuk, dis is disgoostin!'_ Glimmer Loves Glitters wrote, disgoosted.

Enobaria My-Teeth-Belong-In-Your-Neck sent waited for two whole minutes before sending her next comment.

_'Wh-What did you just say?'_

Marvel AKA The-Guy-That-Killed-Rue decided to help her out.

_'I think she meant that this is disgusting.'_

Glimmer rolled her eyes. What a stupid boy!

_'NOO, I MANT DISGOOSTIN! DU U EVEEN SPIK INGLLISH!'_

Seriously, he was such an idiot sometimes. Glimmer didn't even know it was possible to be _that _stoopid.

Enobaria My-Teeth-Belong-In-Your-Neck sent the next comment immediately.

_'YOU STUPID GIRL! YOU HAVE NO IDEA WHAT YOU'RE MISSING, NO IDEA! YOU'RE A FREAKING IDIOT, STUPID, MENTALLY DEMAGED GURL, UR SO STOOPED!'_

Glimmer nodded her head approvingly at Enobaria's message. Finally, she said something clever.

Enobaria My-Teeth-Belong-In-Your-Neck sent another comment a few long minutes after that.

_'Oh. Dear. God. Now I'm talking like that, too? IT'S CATCHING! SAVE YOURSELF!'_

Enobaria My-Teeth-Belong-In-Your-Neck, Blight, Marvel AKA The-Guy-That-Killed-Rue, Cato The Sexy Buffalo, Cashmere, Gloss, Beetee and Johanna Mason all left the conversation.

But Glimmer Loves Glitters didn't care. They didn't deserve to be on her awesome Wall, after all.

_'…It's Tusdey, Tusdey, gutta doo a hop un Tusdey…'_

* * *

><p><strong>Well, Master Noble, there you have it. A chapter from Glimmer's POV. And this chapter just made all of my IQ points fly right out of my head.<strong>

**I hope you're happy.**

**SeriuoSAlly.**

**Okay, so in the last chapter I mentioned President Snow writing a fanfiction about him and Cato, right? Well, I couldn't believe how many of you wanted to read his fanfic! Really, Snow/Cato? Now this is new.**

**Well, I didn't write Snow's fanfic, but Mustaches did. Go find it, it's hilarious! Its name is, obviously, "The Rooster, The Buffalo, And The Three Baboons". Check it out!**

**An awesome quote(s) from my favorite comedian ever, Ori Hizkia:**

**Ori: **"So I met this beautiful girl, with the greenest eyes ever. I asked her, 'What is the color of your eyes?' She told me, 'Green. You have pretty eyes too, what is their color?' … Seriously, who in here have brown eyes?"

_*applauds from the people in the crowd that have brown eyes, which is practically everyone*_

**Ori: **"…Don't you think we kinda got screwed with the distribution of colors? What's with that depressing brown? When someone asks you what is your eyes color you can't just say brown, right? You say 'brown', and add to it another element. I told her, "I have brown-writing desk."

**God, I adore him. He's so awesome :D**

**Have a lovely day :)**


	27. President Snow is neat and cool

**President Snow is "neat" and "cool"**

* * *

><p>Lying on her stomach in her bed, Primrose Everdeen opened her diary and drew hearts and butterflies and flowers all over the page. She then picked out of her only two colorful pens – black and grey – the grey pen, and started dreamily writing the name of the one she loved the most.<p>

_*heart* Buttercup *heart*_

Oh, Buttercup. He was just such a loyal cat. Always dirty and grumpy and ready to attack.

He was the best cat in the whole wide world.

And speaking of Buttercup…

Prim didn't see her lovely cat for over two hours. She was getting extremely worried.

Thank God for Facebook.

She logged into Facebook and looked at his profile. He was online. That meant he was okay, safe and sound.

He didn't die or anything. What a relief.

**_Buttercup Profile Page_**

_Name: *mew*_

_Age: *mew*_

_Home: *mew*_

_Current location: *mew*_

_Interested in: *mew?*_

_In a relationship: *mew mew mew mew mew mew mew!*_

Such a charming cat.

Primrose Everdeen decided to send the best cat ever a special little comment, on June 6 at 14:09PM.

_'*nodding* I know sweetie. Your relationship with Greasy Sae's dead bear is quite complicated.'_

Gale Hawthorne almost immediately sent her a reply.

_'You can actually understand what he howls?'_

Prim was about to reply to his oh-so-stupid question, of course she was able to understand her lovely cat, but Katniss beat her to it.

_'You really need to throw that cat out, Prim. Your relationship is sick and unnatural.'_

What a stupid sister.

Buttercup, oh how great of him to join the conversation, sent a quick reply to Prim's lovable-but-sometimes-infuriating sister.

_'*HISS!*'_

Primrose Everdeen sent the next comment.

_'I agree with Buttercup on this one, Katniss. You really are a b*tch.'_

_'HEY!'_ Katniss sent.

Peeta Mellark then joined the conversation.

_'You know what, Buttercup? I would have unfriended you RIGHT NOW if I had more friends!'_

Gale Hawthorne, of course, just had to reply to Peeta's comment.

_'Really, Peeta? How many friends do you have? Three?'_

It took Peeta a long time to answer.

_'…no.'_

Mags then joined the conversation.

_'Is this Buttercup edible?'_

Prim was outraged. What was that woman thinking!

Katniss Everdeen replied to Mags' question.

_'Well, you see, there is a small difference of opinion concerning Buttercup.'_

Primrose Everdeen couldn't take it anymore.

_'HE IS NOT EDIBLE! HE'S A CAT, AND CATS ARE NOT FOOD!'_

Mags sent the next comment.

_'A cat? Really? Who names his cat 'Buttercup'?'_

_'A joyful person.'_ Primrose wrote bitterly.

Mags sent the next comment.

_'Joyful? Never heard this word before.'_

Finnick Odair then joined the conversation.

_'This is because we're in this young adults novel called 'The Hunger Games'. It's one of the most depressing books ever created.'_

President Snow The Sexy Rooster was the next one to join the awful conversation. Really, what a way to ruin the-best-cat-in-the-whole-wide-world's perfect Wall.

_'I actually quite like this place. Feels homey.'_

Titus The Guy Who Eats Everything joined the conversation too.

_'Yeah. Yeah, me too.'_

Johanna Mason Immediately wrote a reply.

_'OMG, TITUS?! AHH, I'VE SEEN YOUR GAMES! Am a huge fan :D'_

Titus The Guy Who Eats Everything replied almost immediately.

_'That's nice to know.'_

Johanna Mason was apparently really excited.

'Ah am so excited right now! God, you're brilliant! I especially loved the way you ate that 12 year old girl when she was still alive. Brilliant.'

Titus The Guy Who Eats Everything sent a reply to Johanna's comment.

_'Really? thank you so much. I was inspired by the moment. So glad to know you watched and enjoyed! That was my intention all along. To please the audience :P'_

Prim didn't even realize her mouth was hanging open and her eyes were wide as dinner plates.

What was this guy's problem?!

Gale Hawthorne sent the next comment.

_'…you guys are sick.'_

Prim nodded and liked the comment. She wasn't the only one. Katniss Everdeen, Mags, Finnick Odair, Peeta Mellark, President Snow The Sexy Rooster and Buttercup liked this too.

President Snow The Sexy Rooster sent the next comment.

_'The 'hottie' here is right! You're sick, the both of you! Jeez. Why would you think this would be appropriate in a thing like The Hunger Games? The tributes these days, God. The Capitol citizens have _some_ standards!'_

Cato The Sexy Buffalo then joined the conversation.

_'I actually agree with dear old President Snow here. You're sick.'_

President Snow The Sexy Rooster sent a quick reply.

_'Oh, Cato dawg, you agree with- wait, old?'_

The amazing Buttercup sent the next lovely comment.

_'*eating a fly*'_

President Snow The Sexy Rooster continued with his last comment.

_'I'll have you know, I'm young in my spirit! And as "neat" and "cool" as you "dawgs" are!'_

Finnick Odair sent the next comment.

_'Yeah, you're a real… "neat" and "cool" guy, Snow.'_

Johanna Mason, Mags, Gale Hawthorne, Katniss Everdeen, President Snow The Sexy Rooster and Cato The Sexy Buffalo liked this.

President Snow The Sexy Rooster replied quickly.

_'See? Even Finnick, the neatest, most awesome guy alive thinks I'm "cool"! Finnick and I are "tight," yo!'_

Johanna Mason sent the next and final comment.

_'It's a shame you can't pass the sarcastic tone in comments.'_

Primrose Everdeen, Finnick Odair, Buttercup, Titus The Guy Who Eats Everything, Mags, President Snow The Sexy Rooster, Cato The Sexy Buffalo, Peeta Mellark, Katniss Everdeen and Gale Hawthorne liked this.

* * *

><p><strong>OVER 1,600 REVIEWS!<strong>

**That's amazing. I'm dying from happiness. :)**

**I would've never expected this little fic to get so many reviews. Really, that's insane.**

**Oh, something I forgot to add to my Author Note last chapter - A lot of you guys asked me if I took a picture of the Mini Cato I saw.**

**Well, sadly, no. I saw him at the airport and we had to hurry up and take our luggage and I really needed to pee, and, you know, taking pictures of little kids in an airport, even if it's taken by a tourist, is just... weird.**

**I'm sorry that I don't have a picture to show you. Or to look at myself.**

**I'm not a pedophile, I swear.**

**Have any of you returned to school already? My first day of eleventh grade was today.**

**I'm going to die this year. I'm serious. I don't have a single short day, they're all long, I have to study 7 hours of math every week and 6 hours of biology and most of my Bagrut tests (I have no idea how you say it in English... matriculation exams? SAT's?) are this year.**

**Ugh.**

**It's going to be hard to update my stories. Sorry, but this year is extremely important, and school comes first, so if I don't update for a long time, then it's because I'm either too stressed out from school or dead.**

**Have a lovely day :)**


	28. Harry Potter Invasion

**Harry Potter Invasion**

* * *

><p>Come on, crop... come on… mature…<p>

Gosh, what takes the stupid crop so long?

Mature! Mature, you stupid crop!

An annoyed Katniss rolled her eyes as her crop just refused to mature and leaned back in her seat, staring at the computer screen without seeing a thing.

When did Farmville become so… boring?

Well, that was a rather stupid question. Farmville was always an extremely boring, stupid, pointless game.

The real question was, when did Katniss finally grow up from her 'Farmville dazed' state and realized this game was boring.

Still, even after realizing this game was pointless and boring, Katniss didn't close the site. Because she was faithful to the growing crop, and she just knew deep down inside of her that in the near hour or so the crop will mature.

All she had to do was wait.

. . .

Man, this was boring.

Katniss opened another tab and got into Facebook again. She looked at her profile, smiled, then saw that Peeta Mellark had a new friend.

**Harry Potter YEAH!**

Katniss raised an eyebrow.

What kind of a stupid name was that?

I mean, Beetee, Boggs, even Woof she could understand, but _Harry_?

Parents. They just don't know how to name their children properly.

She read his profile, to see who he was exactly.

**_Harry Potter YEAH! Profile Page_**

_Name: Harry Potter, Harry Potter, YEAH!_

_Age: 17._

_Home: Well, technically I live with the Dursleys… but Hogwarts is my real home! I *heart* Hogwarts!_

_Current location: In the Gryffindor Common Room… At Hogwarts, YEAH!_

_Interested in: Beating Voldemort, kissing Ginny, having adventures with my two best friends Ron and Hermione, Quidditch and being the awesome hero that I and everyone on this planet knows I am._

_In a relationship: Currently dating Ginny Weasley, though if I keep reading all those slash stories about me and Draco Malfoy, I think I'll switch teams_.

What a weirdo.

Katniss Everdeen immediately wrote him a comment on his Wall, which was received on June 22 at 13:23PM.

_'Who the hell are you?'_

Harry Potter YEAH! quickly responded.

_'…seriously? You- you don't know who I am?'_

Gale Hawthorne then joined the conversation.

_'Did you participate in The Hunger Games?'_

Harry Potter YEAH! sent the next comment.

_'What are you talking about?'_

An unknown weird girl named Hermione Granger (oh, what a name) was the next one to join the conversation.

_'Harry, I think they're talking about those food contests. You know, where you need to eat a lot of food as fast as you can.'_

What was she talking about?

Beetee sent her a quick reply.

_'No no no, you stupid girl, we are talking about those games where you kill people in order to survive. 24 get into the arena. 24 get out of the arena. Only one get out of there not in a coffin.'_

Hermione Granger immediately replied to Beetee's comment.

_'*twitch twitch* Did you just call me stupid?'_

Harry Potter YEAH! wrote yet another comment.

_'Ooh, you shouldn't have said that! Not to Hermione Granger, who gets an O at every test she does!'_

Beetee wasn't impressed by that.

_'What does O stand for? _Outrageous_? *snicker snicker*'_

A boy named Ron Weasley (what a horrid name. Nothing compared to Marvel) sent the next comment.

_'Don't. Talk. To. Hermione. Bloody. Granger. Like. That.'_

Harry Potter YEAH!, who was probably Ron Weasley and Hermione Granger's friend, replied to Ron's comment.

_'Forget about that Ron, they don't know who I am!'_

Ron Weasley immediately responded to that.

_'WHAT! It's one thing to treat Hermione like that, it's a _whole_ other thing not to know who _Harry Potter_ is!'_

Cato The Sexy Buffalo joined the conversation.

_'So who is he?'_

Ron Weasley replied quickly.

_'Only the coolest, most awesome guy ever! You don't want to mess with him, he beat up the Dark Lord when he was just a baby!'_

Katniss blinked.

Who the hell is the dark lord?

_'…what?_' Gale Hawthorne wrote, confused.

Harry Potter YEAH! sent the next comment.

_'Yeah, well, I don't like to brag, but… When I was just a little baby, the darkest lord of all came to my house. He killed my parents, but wasn't able to kill me. I survived. I'm The Boy Who Lived. I then beat him several other times, and also found my father's BFF Sirius Black, had a run in with a Werewolf that was, also, one of my father's Best Friends and kissed the girl that I loved. Of course, during all that, I was still able to get great grades and was extraordinarily talented at Quidditch. The Dark Lord then killed me. I came back to life and killed him. I married the girl I love. Everything's good now.'_

O…kay.

_'Yeah, but did you ever win the title of "Sexiest Man Alive" four times in a row? Hmm?'_ Finnick Odair wrote, so very full of himself.

A guy named Draco Malfoy (oh! Finally, a normal name!) joined the conversation.

_'So I guess that you read all those horrendous stories about us too, ah Potter?'_

Peeta Mellark apparently knew very well who Draco Malfoy was.

_'O. M. G. DRACO MALFOY! *loaf you loaf you loaf you loaf you loaf you*_'

_'What's up with The Bread Boy?'_ Draco Malfoy asked, confused.

Katniss Everdeen decided to finally send another comment.

_'He's a big fan. Saw you in A Very Potter Musical and adored you ever since.'_

Draco Malfoy took his time to reply.

_'*shaking terribly* That. Woman. Was. Not. Me! For one, she was a woman. Two, I AM NOT DRAMATIC! Three, my father is Lucius Malfoy, not… *shudders* Dobby.'_

Peeta Mellark sent the next comment.

_'What? You're-you're not her? You're-you're a … a boy? You… I… What?'_

Draco Malfoy replied quickly to Peeta's confused message.

_'A Very Potter Musical has ruined my life. Like I need to draw Daddy a drawing of me, using the potty! He already knows I'm able to use it all by myself.'_

Luna Lovegood joined the conversation.

_'WATCH OUT FOR THE WRACKSPURTS!'_

Okay, ignore her.

Johanna Mason sent the next comment.

_'Okay, so… Two very successful books series, one Facebook? You need to go. Now.'_

Haymitch Abernathy then joined the conversation.

_'Oh, Johanna Sweetheart, don't be so hasty! So… is Dobby joining the conversation?'_

_'No, sorry.'_ Hermione Granger wrote.

Haymitch Abernathy sent the next comment a few seconds later.

_'-.-_

_You're not welcome in here anymore. Leave.'_

Katniss rolled her eyes at Haymitch's rude comment and wrote a nicer one.

_'Don't be like that, Haymitch. They're guests! And anyway, this Draco guy is apparently half a Dobby.'_

_'Humph.'_ Draco Malfoy replied, annoyed.

A guy named Voldemort (heehee, what a stupid name) joined the conversation.

_'The evilest guy ever has just arrived! *muhahaha*'_

President Snow The Sexy Rooster was the next one to join the conversation.

_'Evilest guy ever, ah? What did you do?'_

_'I killed people!'_ Voldemort replied proudly.

President Snow The Sexy Rooster sent the next comment a minute later.

_'…that's all?'_

Voldemort was confused by that.

_'…isn't that enough?'_

President Snow The Sexy Rooster sent a quick reply.

_'LOL! Isn't he sweet? 'Isn't that enough?' Oh, you're hilarious, Voldy.'_

Voldemort was getting rather annoyed with him, apparently.

_'Yeah? And you think you're evil?'_

Katniss Everdeen wrote a reply.

_'He _is_ evil.'_

Finnick Odair, Peeta Mellark, Johanna Mason, Haymitch Abernathy, Cato The Sexy Buffalo and Gale Hawthorne liked this.

_'Really? So what did you do?'_ Voldemort challenged.

President Snow The Sexy Rooster sent a reply.

_'I made 24 kids between the ages of 12 and 18 to get selected… ah, randomly… to a game where they must kill each other in order to survive. Almost every winner's family is getting killed, some of the victors turn into whores, like dear Finnicken over here, and some of them turn mad.'_

It took Voldemort several minutes to reply to that.

_'…I killed my grandparents.'_

President Snow The Sexy Rooster sent an extremely quick reply.

_'*gasp!* You evil, evil monster!'_

Luna Lovegood sent the next comment.

_'Why do you call yourself a rooster? Are you a Roosterbooster, the roosters that are able to talk and poop rainbows?'_

President Snow The Sexy Rooster replied quickly.

_'No, I'm afraid not. It's just a silly game between Cato and I )'_

_'Humph.'_ Cato The Sexy Buffalo sent.

Buttercup joined the conversation.

_'*hiss*'_

Crookshanks, which was apparently also a cat, sent him a quick reply.

_'*hiss*'_

Hermione Granger was apparently very touched by that.

_'Aww, look at them, bonding :)'_

_'*HISS!*'_ Buttercup sent.

_'*HISS!*' _Crookshanks replied.

_'*ripping open Crookshanks' neck using his teeth* *HISS!*'_ Buttercup sent.

Hermione Granger immediately sent a comment.

_'NO! CROOKSHANKS!'_

Katniss Everdeen coughed awkwardly.

_'Ahh… Yeah… Sorry about that. Buttercup is not really good with other creatures…'_

Enobaria My-Teeth-Belong-In-Your-Neck sent the final comment.

_'*wiping a tear from her eye* I'm so proud of him :)'_

* * *

><p><strong>Harry Potter Invasion :)<strong>

**So, school's bad. I had a huge math test today… and it's only the beginning of week 2, so… yep. I hate school.**

**But I'm still alive, so that's good.**

**Okay, so Harry Potter is by far my favorite book series ever. I love it even more than I love The Hunger Games, and that says something. So if you didn't like how I laughed about it, then just know that I love anything about the book series. Well, except for the couples and how my two favorite characters died (Fred and Sirius, may you rest in peace), but that's why Fanfiction is here, right?**

**Also, there's this new story that's called "_This is War_", and it's a 24/24 collaboration of the 34th annual Hunger Games, and I'm writing the District Seven male tribute!**

**The first chapter of the story, with the reaping of the District One tributes was published just today, so I'd really really really appreciate it if you read and review, because it's going to be awesome :)**

**Random… event:**

*my mom vacuumed bugs and moths in our house. One moth was apparently a super-smart moth, and it always escaped the vacuum cleaner and flew away*

My mom:"I feel really bad about killing all of those bugs with the vacuum cleaner… it's such a sad way to die."

*the moth flew to the floor and stayed there*

My mom: "Quick, don't let it escape!" *stomping on it repeatedly and enthusiastically until it's smeared on the floor.*

Me: "You're right mom. It _is_ a nicer way to die."

**Hope you all have a lovely day :)**


	29. Peeta's poem

**Peeta's poem**

* * *

><p>*BOOM BOOM BOOM!*<p>

Cato punched his punching bag, which was shaped like President Snow, again and again, feeling powerful and in control and awesome.

He continued punching it, receiving great pleasure by hitting President Snow repeatedly with his deadly fists, until he got bored with it. He punched President Snow one last time, then smiled contently and took off his boxing gloves and took a deep breath, smelling his sweat.

Oh, the smell of masculinity!

Cato, tired but satisfied, sat down in front of his computer and, after checking out on his virtual fishes on Facebook, went to his profile.

A shocking surprise was waiting for him there.

On his Friends List, he could see that the woman who was never online when he was, the woman who was a mystery in his eyes, was online.

Greasy Saw.

Feeling more elated than before, he clicked on her name to see her profile, praying that she won't immediately get offline.

She didn't. That was all so exciting.

Cato read her profile quickly, sad that she didn't have any pictures of herself on this website.

**_Greasy Sae Profile Page_**

_Name: Greasy Sae… what were my parents thinking?_

_Age: 58._

_Home: District Twelve._

_Current location: At The Hob, selling soup :)_

_Interested in: Soup, food, wild dogs, dead animals that I can add to my soups._

_In a relationship: Never mentioned in the books, but I'm a bony old woman who sells soup with dead animals in it, so I'm pretty sure I'm single._

Smiling still, Cato The Sexy Buffalo posted a comment on June 30 at 10:14AM.

_'GREASY SAE! Finally! I was just dying to know who you are exactly!'_

A reply from Greasy Sae was received only a minute later.

_'…I'm Greasy Sae.'_

_'No shit.'_ Johanna Mason sent.

Katniss Everdeen, Haymitch Abernathy, Finnick Odair and Gale Hawthorne liked this.

Cato The Sexy Buffalo sent the next comment, curiosity quickly taking over him.

_'Can you send me a picture of yourself? Please?'_

Greasy Sae replied to his comment rather quickly, which was just super exciting.

_'Sure :) *link to the picture*'_

Cato clicked on the link hurriedly, feeling impatient. It took an excruciatingly long time for the picture to load, but when it finally did, Cato's breath went away.

Finally, he could put a face to the name 'Greasy Sae'.

The woman in the picture was dark-skinned and bony, with bulging eyes and a huge, toothless grin. Well, not really toothless. She did have one tooth in her mouth.

Cato The Sexy Buffalo sent a quick reply after he finished looking at the picture.

_'So this is how you look… quite the enchanting smile you've got there.'_

Greasy Sae replied quickly.

_'*smiles a toothless smile* thank you, dear :)'_

Katniss Everdeen then joined the conversation.

_'Oh Greasy Sae, I'm sure there's a guy out there, lusting after you!'_

Greasy Sae sent the next comment.

_'Yeah, well, you have, like, two hot guys lusting after you and you don't even care, which is quite odd considering that they're both WAY out of your league.'_

Cato The Sexy Buffalo immediately liked it. Johanna Mason, Haymitch Abernathy and Finnick Odair liked it, too.

Katniss Everdeen quickly replied.

_'Oh please. They don't lust after me!'_

_'Katniss! I wrote you a story to express my undying love for you!'_ Gale wrote, joining the conversation.

_'Oh, crap.'_ Haymitch Abernathy wrote exactly what Cato The Sexy Buffalo was thinking.

Katniss Everdeen, Johanna Mason, Cato The Sexy Buffalo, Peeta Mellark and Finnick Odair all liked this.

Gale Hawthorne sent the next comment.

_'Now, this story has sexual content in it, so, beware!'_

Gale sent one more comment, this time the story he wrote about him and Katniss was its content.

_'One day Katniss and Gale went hunting._

_Katniss I love you, Gale said._

_I love you too, Katniss replied._

_They kissed._

_I want to make love to you, Gale said._

_Okay, Katniss replied._

_Gale put his thingy into Katniss's You-Know-What and they did it for the first time._

_That was great, Gale said._

_Yes it was, Katniss replied._

_Wanna do it again? Gale asked._

_Okay, Katniss replied._

_They did it again._

_You're better than Peeta, Katniss said._

_I know baby, Gale nodded his head. I know.'_

. . .

Cato didn't even know how to respond to that.

_'Great writing, man.'_ Finnick Odair wrote, obviously sarcastic.

_'That was the sexiest sex scene I've ever read about.'_ Johanna Mason sent, and of course she was being sarcastic too.

_'That was beautiful! *wipes tears from his eyes*'_ President Snow The Sexy Rooster sent, and was… probably not sarcastic. He was just an idiot like that.

Gale Hawthorne sent the next comment.

_'You guys are so kind.'_

Katniss Everdeen posted a comment.

_'Gale?'_

Gale Hawthorne replied almost immediately.

_'Yes, Katniss, dear?'_

_'Don't write about me. Ever.'_ Katniss Everdeen sent, sounding serious.

Peeta Mellark then joined the conversation.

_'Yes, Hawthorne, don't write about Katniss. Ever!'_

Gale Hawthorne sent the next comment.

_'Shut it Mellark.'_

Johanna Mason, Cato The Sexy Buffalo, Haymitch Abernathy and Katniss Everdeen liked this.

Peeta Mellark sent a quick reply.

_'I am way more talented than you are, Hawthorne. True, your story was very moving and the sex scene was great, but I am a poet! Yes yes, Katniss loaf, I wrote you a poem!_'

_'Cato, is there any way you can come and kill me with your swords?'_ Katniss Everdeen sent, sounding desperate.

Cato smirked.

_'Nope. I'm enjoying this conversation way too much.'_ Cato The Sexy Buffalo wrote simply.

Johanna Mason, President Snow The Sexy Rooster, Haymitch Abernathy and Finnick Odair liked this.

Peeta Mellark posted another comment.

_'Okay, here it is:_

_~oOo~_

_I stand and peer from my place behind a tree_

_And see Katniss there, shooting a deer._

_Oh Katniss my loaf, I say in my head,_

_There's a bear behind you, be strong, be prepared!_

_~oOo~_

_I watch her again, as she makes her way down the street,_

_Her face is half eaten; the bear had a treat._

_Her leg is gone, and so is her arm,_

_And yet, she's still the most beautiful girl in Panem._

_~oOo~_

_I make her a cake when she starts feeling better,_

_It is rich and tasty, I used a whole lot of butter,_

_She eats a small slice, then spits it all out,_

_Peeta, she exclaims, does it have any nuts?_

_~oOo~_

_Her face is now swollen, she looks like a toad,_

_She is allergic to nuts, that is just odd,_

_I loaf you so much, I say again and again,_

_We'll be together forever, just push through the pain!_

_~oOo~_

_I'm now at her funeral, feeling sad and alone,_

_I should've asked Beetee to make Katniss a clone._

_I cry and I cry as I lay in my bed,_

_Oh, I feel so sad now that Katniss is dead._

_~oOo~'_

The only thing Cato was able to do after reading the horrible poem was snort.

It took Katniss a few long minutes to post her next comment.

_'Did you really just kill me in your poem?'_

Gale Hawthorne decided to share some words of encouragement.

_'You suck, Mellark!'_

_'Didn't find it nearly as good as Gale's story.'_ President Snow The Sexy Rooster wrote seriously.

Haymitch Abernathy sent another one of his deep, meaningful comments.

_'Heehee, butter…'_

Peeta Mellark sent the next comment.

_'My poem is good! I know it is! I'm the most talented person in here!'_

Greasy Sae wrote an annoyed reply to that.

_'I disagree, Bread Boy. We are all talented, in our own special ways.'_

_'Yeah! I can shoot things!'_ Katniss Everdeen wrote.

_'I can write smutty stories!'_ Gale Hawthorne sent.

_'I can swallow swords!'_ Cato The Sexy Buffalo shared.

_'I can kick your ass!'_ Johanna Mason boasted.

_'I can make homemade perfumes!'_ President Snow The Sexy Rooster wrote.

_'I can burp the alphabet!'_ Haymitch Abernathy sent.

_'I am Finnick Odair. I can do everything.'_ Finnick Odair wrote oh-so-modestly.

Peeta Mellark took his time to reply to this.

_'…I'm more talented than you are…'_

The next thing that appeared on Cato The Sexy Buffalo's screen was, _**'Greasy Sae Activity:** Peeta Mellark has been blocked from posting on the wall of **Greasy Sae**.'_

Katniss Everdeen sent the final comment that concluded this conversation.

_'Good riddance.'_

And with that, Cato The Sexy Buffalo closed the site and put his boxing gloves back on, ready to punch President Snow some more.

* * *

><p><strong>Oh, another 'My Immortal' reference. I just can't get enough of those :)<strong>

**Sorry it took me so long to update. But look at the bright side - one more chapter, and I can start writing new chapters! **

**EXCITING! :D**

**So leave a review, because I'm tired and it took me a long time to rewrite and fix this chapter and because of Peeta's lovely poem and Gale's smutty story.**

**And hope you all have a lovely day :)**


	30. Beetee is evil

**Beetee is evil**

* * *

><p>Beetee looked at the complicated equation on the paper in front of him for a long, LONG time.<p>

-2^(2xa+5b)+2^(xb+3a)+4abcd=0

…the fuck was he supposed to get from _that_?

He was already trying to solve it all morning, but as determined as he was, he was also super annoyed with this equation and decided he deserved a break.

And even though he didn't particularly like this site and knew there are millions of other things for him to do that would be both more entertaining and challenging than that, he logged into this site.

_Facebook._

Beetee read his profile, smiling at how smart he was and how important he made himself sound like in his profile.

_**Beetee's Profile Page**_

_Name: Beetee._

_Age: 47._

_Home: District Three._

_Current location: In front of the computer, doing scientific, smart stuff._

_Interested in: Statistics, inventing things, being smart, laughing at stupid people, wires._

_In a relationship: Dedicated to my work._

After finishing reading his profile, Beetee turned to look at his Wall.

Being the smart man that he was, he already predicted that most chances are that he'd have a message.

He wasn't wrong.

Obviously.

The message was written by Johanna Mason on July 2 at 13:06PM.

_'You're pathetic.'_

Beetee, who again wasn't surprised by Johanna' rudeness, wrote a reply after a few moments of consideration.

_'That might be your opinion, but your opinion isn't the one deciding whether I'm pathetic or not. I guarantee you that at least several people, if not more, will disagree with you. I, for one, think that I'm not pathetic at all, just very passionate about my work. I also think you're a bully and annoying as hell, but that's just my opinion.'_

Johanna was quick to reply.

_'I am not a bully!'_

Random Guy From District Three wrote the next comment.

_'J-Johanna? C-Can you pl-please give me my g-glasses back?'_

Johanna Mason sent a reply a few moments later.

_'*breaking the glasses* Oops. Lost them.'_

President Snow The Sexy Rooster decided to join the conversation.

_'You're the worst, Johanna, dawg.'_

Johanna's response was short and to the point.

_'Don't call me a dawg.'_

Beetee decided to write the next comment.

_'I agree with President Snow on this one. You are evil.'_

Cato The Sexy Buffalo then joined the conversation.

_'Well, that's what makes her so awesome. At least she can be evil! You can't even think about being naughty towards people.'_

Beetee was actually quite insulted by this. And wasn't that surprising?

_'I can be evil and cruel if I just put my mind into it,'_ He wrote simply, knowing that he's right.

Finnick Odair then joined the conversation.

_'Yeah right. Even Annie's more evil than you are.'_

Beetee was torn for a few seconds, then decided to show them his evil side.

_'Okay! But remember, you just pressured me into doing this!'_

_'Yeah, yeah…'_ Cato The Sexy Buffalo wrote in his 'oh-so-caring' way.

Johanna Mason, Finnick Odair and President Snow The Sexy Rooster all liked this.

Beetee decided to teach them a lesson to never try and challenge him again.

Because his dark side… oh, it was dark.

And it was time to show his evilness!

_'You. Get. Stuck. After. Every. Single. Word. I. Write. Isn't. That. Annoying. I. Bet. It. Is. Muha. Ha. Ha. Ha.'_

It took Johanna Mason several long minutes to write Beetee a reply.

_'That's your evil plan? God, you're stupid.'_

Beetee immediately wrote a reply.

_'I'm. Not. Stupid. This. Thing. Is. A. Known. Way. To. Aggravate. People. I. Read. About. This. Online. Google. Is. Awesome.'_

Finnick Odair sent the next comment.

_'You know what, this is starting to annoy me… '_

_'Told. You. So.'_ Was Beetee's reply.

Johanna Mason quickly sent a new message.

_'Okay, just – stop! Please, I can't take it anymore!'_

_'This is a torture!_' President Snow The Sexy Rooster agreed.

Beetee sent a simple, short comment, to show them all exactly what's on his overly-active and extremely creative and sophisticated mind.

_'Hee. Hee.'_

Peeta Mellark then decided to join the conversation.

_'Oh, Beetee. I know what is like, to be so dedicated to your work. Here, I just wrote another poem about my work as a baker!'_

Beetee looked at the screen in horror, then wrote an extremely quick reply.

_'Please. Do. Not. Share. This. Poem. With. Me. Your. Poems. Are. Horrible. I. Do. Not. Want. To. Read. Your. Poem.'_

It took Peeta Mellark two seconds to reply.

_'LOL, Beetee you write funny! Too bad I didn't have the power to actually read what you've written, but I'm sure it was very supportive of my poems!'_

_'Thanks, Beetee.'_ Cato The Sexy Buffalo sent bitterly.

Johanna Mason, Finnick Odair, President Snow The Sexy Rooster, Annie Cresta and Peeta Mellark liked this.

_'Oh, it's so nice of you, to thank Beetee for expressing your loaf for my poems! I'm touched ;)'_ Peeta Mellark wrote, feeling touched.

Johanna Mason sent the next comment.

_'*don't punch him, don't punch him, don't punch him, don't punch him…*'_

Peeta Mellark sent the next comment then, with the poem and all.

_'Here it is!_

_~.~_

_I live in a bakery, I'm in charge of the cakes,_

_But there's only one thing I'd really like to bake._

_Bread, bread, that's what I loaf,_

_If you say you hate bread, then you're just a stupid oaf._

_~.~_

_I'm at my family's bakery, baking some bread,_

_When my mother walks in, frowning a tad._

_She looks at the bread, then yells to my face,_

_"You useless kid. Pick up your pace!"_

_~.~_

_I work faster and harder 'cause that's mommy's wish_

_She puckers her lips and looks like a fish._

_The dough is all ready, I'm happy and proud,_

_But where are the raisins? They're nowhere to be found!_

_~.~_

_I look out the window, then under the table,_

_And find a dead cockroach and a small weak cable._

_I search and I search, and find a small dice,_

_And I think in my head that I should've just made rice._

_~.~_

_My mother looks stiff, she doesn't even itch,_

_I would've been worrying if she wasn't such a b*tch,_

_I gave up on finding them after ten minutes,_

_And decided to just put in there a few extra peanuts._

_~.~_

_My mother finally moves, and opens her bag,_

_She pulls out a few raisins and put them in my hand._

_I smile a big smile, and she just shakes her head,_

_And that's how my mommy helped me save the bread._

_~.~'_

Beetee just stared at the poem, feeling sad and happy at the same time. Sad, 'cause he just had to read this nonsense. But happy, because the suffer of reading this poem was over, thank God.

Annie Cresta was the first one to send a comment on Peeta's poem.

_'O.O'_

Peeta Mellark sent a quick reply.

_'I know. I'm good, aren't I?'_

Johanna Mason sent another one of her delightful comments.

_'*don't punch him, don't punch him, don't punch him, don't punch him…*'_

Beetee wrote a comment of his own.

_'That. Was. The. Worst. Poem. I've. Ever. Had. The. Misfortune. Of. Reading.'_

Peeta Mellark immediately replied.

_'Again, didn't have the power to read what you wrote, but I'm sure your comment was filled with compliments about my poem :)'_

Cato The Sexy Buffalo sent, too, a comment filled with compliments and support.

_'I need to kill someone. Where are my swords when I need them?'_

President Snow The Sexy Rooster was quick to reply.

_'Oh, sweetie, you swallowed them all!'_

_'Oh, right. Sh*t.'_ Was Cato The Sexy Buffalo's response to that.

Annie Cresta finally got over her initial shock and wrote what she actually felt about this awful poem.

_'I LOVED IT!'_

And the only thing that Finnick was able to write after reading his wife's supportive comment on such a bad poem was, '_*facepalm*'_

* * *

><p><strong>Hallelujah, hallelujah, hallelujah! <strong>Hallelujah<strong>! **HALLELUJAH!****

**Thank. God.**

**Thank. _Freaking_. God.**

**I finished rewriting all of the 30 chapters. Am so proud of myself for finishing them all! :D**

**And now, FINALLY, new chapters! Can't wait to start writing them!**

**I really hope you liked this chapter, and have a lovely day. No, you know what? Have a lovely _WEEK_. I'm feeling generous :)**


	31. Good, Bad or Vagina

**Good, Bad or Vagina.**

* * *

><p>As an artist, Peeta loved to look outside when the sun was rising and paint every single thing that created those beautiful, extraordinary sunrises.<p>

So one day, he woke up extra early to paint the amazing sunrise outside. It took him a while to finish it. Only at noon he finished with his painting. He looked at it, proud of his work, and looked at the sun outside, which was now bright in the middle of the sky.

He then looked at his painting, to see if the sun he painted looked close to reality.

., ! ,  
>- O -<br>.' ! `

Looks good!

He immediately ran downstairs to show his two loving brothers the new painting he made.

They looked at it with a confused look. "Is that a bug?"

Annoyed, Peeta returned to his room. His brothers knew absolutely nothing about art.

Primitives.

Still quite annoyed, Peeta got into Facebook, and saw that a new account was made.

Mrs. Everdeen.

Oh, how lovely was that! Katniss's mother. Now that's awesome!

Peeta immediately sent her a friends request, which she confirmed a few seconds later, and with a big smile Peeta watched his list of friends growing.

Almost seven, yippee!

He immediately turned to look at her profile, because she was Katniss's mother, which, of course, meant she was awesome. They were sharing the same genes, after all.

_**Mrs. Everdeen's Profile Pag**__e_

_Name: __Ahh… Mrs. Everdeen?_

_Age: __Around 40._

_Home: __District Twelve._

_Current location: __In front of the computer._

_Interested in: __…I don't know. God, that Suzanne Collins woman. She wrote nothing about me!_

_In a relationship:__ A widow :(_

Peeta decided to be the first one to write on her Wall, and so, on July 13 at 15:56, he sent her a message.

_'Ahh. My loaf's mother. So nice to finally meet you, my dear, dear lady.'_

Mrs. Everdeen replied almost immediately.

_'Why, thank you, Peeta!'_

Peeta Mellark immediately wrote another comment.

_'Now, that we're formally introduced… Can I ask for your daughter's hand?'_

Again, Mrs. Everdeen was quick to reply.

_'Yes! Yes, yes, a million times YES!'_

Katniss Everdeen, his beautiful, amazing Katniss, joined the conversation.

_'MOM!'_

Oh, how sweet was she? She probably got extremely excited because he wanted to marry her. And why wouldn't she be excited?

Her mother wrote the next comment.

_'What? I thought this day would never come! Oh, a guy that is in love with my unattractive, grumpy kid! It makes me feel so happy and proud!'_

Unattractive? grumpy? How could she _say_ that?

…okay, maybe there was _some_ truth in her words…

Katniss wrote the next comment.

_'Mom. I don't like him.'_

Gale Hawthorne joined the conversation.

_'Yeah, you tell her, Catnip!'_

'Shut up Gale.' Katniss wrote.

Heehee. Katniss was just so totally awesome!

Peeta Mellark decided to get some sense into his lovely Katniss.

_'But Katniss, all that's left for us to do now is getting married. We already fought in an arena against 22 other kids, we survived, we then returned to the arena, you got pregnant, and now the next step is to get married! Simple.'_

Katniss apparently didn't see the simplicity in this.

_'I loathe you.'_

_'And I loaf you! *heart*' _Peeta sent back, figuring that what she really meant to write was loaf but because she was kind of an idiot sometimes she didn't spell it right.

Clove Dis then joined the conversation.

_'Mrs. Everdeen, seriously, what turned your daughter into such an annoying, depressed girl?'_

Mrs. Everdeen replied to Clove Dis' comment a minute later.

_'*sigh* I don't know. And she was such a happy person when she was a kid! Ooh, you know, I actually wrote so many things that she did when she was a kid to embarrass her when she'll get older!' _

Katniss Everdeen immediately wrote a response.

_'What?! You've never told me about that!'_

Mrs. Everdeen sent the next comment.

_'That's because I wanted to take you by surprise when I embarrass you.'_

_'Humph._' Was Katniss's response to that.

Cato The Sexy Buffalo joined the conversation.

_'Well, go on then! Let's hear it.'_

Peeta nodded his head eagerly. Oh, how much he wanted to see a different, kinder side of his precious Katniss!

Mrs. Everdeen sent the next comment.

_'Okay, there was this one time when she decided that she was a cat. So she started walking on four in our district and told everyone to call her "Miss Pikookoo" from now on. She was just so stupid!'_

_'MOM!_' Came the outraged comment from Katniss.

Haymitch Abernathy decided to join the conversation, too.

_'Oh, Miss Pikookoo, don't be so ashamed. I'm sure you were better as a cat than as a human.'_

Well, ouch.

Clove Dis, Gale Hawthorne, Mrs. Everdeen and Cato The Sexy Buffalo all liked this.

Peeta Mellark wrote the next comment.

_'You know, Katniss, I don't want to brag, but when I was three years old, I acted like a bread and told everyone to call me "Bready the Bread Bread". Now, I know it's far more sophisticated than you, acting like a simple street cat, but I'm sure now you're more creative than what you were back then.'_

Gale Hawthorne replied after a minute of no-comments.

_'Peeta, just… don't. Just don't.'_

Peeta frowned. Why didn't Gale like what Peeta wrote?

He frowned even more when he saw that Katniss Everdeen, Cato The Sexy Buffalo, Clove Dis and Haymitch Abernathy liked Gale's comment.

Traitors.

Mrs. Everdeen sent the next comment.

_'Ooh, I found the song Katniss wrote when she was three years old! Who wants to hear it?'_

Gasp! Katniss wrote a song? It's similar to a poem!

Oh, they were SO meant to be!

Haymitch Abernathy sent a reply to Mrs. Everdeen's question.

_'I know I sure do.'_

Peeta Mellark liked this comment quickly, and Cato The Sexy Buffalo and Clove Dis did the same.

Katniss Everdeen sent the next comment.

_'It's not… too embarrassing, right?'_

Mrs. Everdeen replied quickly.

_'No, no, of course it's not too embarrassing. You'd love it.'_

_'Okay. Good._' Katniss wrote in response, obviously relieved.

Mrs. Everdeen sent a new comment a minute later.

_'Okay, here it is:_

_"I don't know if I'm good or bad._

_Am I good or bad?_

_I don't know._

_How will I be able to know if I'm good or bad?_

_Good good good good good good good good._

_Bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad…"'_

Katniss Everdeen somehow interrupted this song with a comment.

_'Okay. That's not that bad…'_

Mrs. Everdeen continued posting the song.

_'"…good is a male? Or is it a female?_

_Who knows, who knows._

_For example, let's think about vaginas –"'_

Again, Katniss magically interrupted the comment.

_'Oh God mother!' _

_'What? _You_ wrote that._' Mrs. Everdeen replied.

Peeta Mellark just stared at the screen for a few seconds before he wrote a comment to express the way he feels about Katniss's song.

_'You wrote about a vagina? That's icky!'_

Gale Hawthorne sent the next comment a second after Peeta's comment was sent.

_'You were three years old. Why did you write about a vagina? Why not… bunnies?'_

_'She said that bunnies are not as impressive as vaginas._' Mrs. Everdeen wrote.

Katniss Everdeen sent the next comment.

_'You said it's not embarrassing!'_

Mrs. Everdeen replied after a few long seconds.

_'…I lied.'_

_'What!'_ Katniss sent, shocked by her mother's lie.

_'I told you before, I want to take you by surprise when I embarrass you. That's what mothers _do_.'_ Mrs. Everdeen wrote simply, like it was supposed to be obvious.

Clove Dis then sent the next comment.

_'I thought it was beautiful *evil smirk*'_

Cato The Sexy Buffalo and Haymitch Abernathy liked this.

Peeta didn't. I mean, this song was about _vaginas_. What's so beautiful about it?

Yuck.

Mrs. Everdeen then sent another comment.

_'Now, who wants me to tell about the time Katniss ran naked in the district and believed she was an eel?'_

And to that, Katniss replied with a simple, frustrated _'*facepalm*'._

* * *

><p><strong>NEW CHAPTER! :D<strong>

**And posted two days after my last update. Was just so excited about FINALLY finishing rewriting everything that I just had to write a new chapter :)**

**I took the whole idea of this chapter from real life. Because, apparently, I was an extremely dumb girl and wanted everyone to call me "Miss Pikookoo" or another dumb name as I acted like a cat when I was three years old.**

**My mom actually wrote every embarrassing thing I did when I was young on the computer to show it to me later when I grow up. So she, my younger sister and I all looked at the screen of the computer as my mom read to us every embarrassing little thing I did, but I didn't care because she said that next is going to be things that my sister said and did when she was young. So I figured, hmm, she's kinda dumb, so maybe she was dumb as a kid too? **

**No. Apparently, she was a very intelligent and smart kid, and everything that came out of her mouth was smart. **

**She laughed at me a lot that day.**

**And the song about the vagina? Yeah, that's a song I wrote when I was three. I have no idea what was wrong with me.**

**My mom thinks I was adorable. I think I was incredibly stupid.**

**Oh, and I tried to be creative with Peeta's sun. Just know that this thing is supposed to be a sun.**

**I want to recommend you all the story, "Life Of The Party," by JoshuaEvans123. It's about Annie and Finnick's son and Snow's granddaughter, and, obviously, the hunger games. It's a really good story, and you should read it :)**

**So! I expect to have TONS of reviews for updating so fast. And because I got an F on my math test (sob sob) and it upsets me. And because it's a new chapter after months of rewritten chapters.**

**So yeah. I expect reviews.**

**Hope you all have a lovely day! :D**


	32. Finnick the Raging Pig

**Finnick the Raging Pig**

* * *

><p>Maya Normousbutt's butt didn't look good today.<p>

Which was pretty ironic, if you think about it.

Seriously, it just looked extremely big in every single Jeans she tried to put on. Nothing fitted her.

And wasn't that extremely frustrating, Maya Normousbutt thought to herself as she tearfully changed back to her usual sweatpants, feeling upset.

She walked out of the tiny changing room in the best store ever, 'The Stylish Clown', and tried to avoid the eyes of the seller, who rushed to where she was, raising an eyebrow.

"Well? How did they look on you?" The woman asked, gesturing at the 37 Jeans that Maya Normousbutt tried to put on her and were still in the changing room.

Maya Normousbutt looked at her apologetically. "Well, you see, I just remembered that I'm allergic to Jeans, so…" She walked quickly out of the store before the woman could say something humiliating like, "I knew you should've tried a bigger side, you're definitely not just _Large!_"

My God, shopping, as fun as it was, was sometimes just so embarrassing!

When Maya Normousbutt got home, she immediately ate some chocolate, to help her feel a bit better, then ate two doughnuts, because man, she was hungry after shopping all day.

She sat down in front of her computer as she was starting to eat her third doughnut and checked to see if anyone has posted anything on each other's walls. And, sure enough, Annie Cresta had a new comment on her Wall.

_**Annie Cresta's Profile Page**_

_Name:__ Annie._

_Age:__ 23._

_Home:__ District Four._

_Current location:__ At the beach…_

_Interested in:__ Lying on the sand, listening to the waves crashing on the shore, feeling peaceful._

_In a relationship:__ Married to Finnick Odair… pregnant… it's a boy. I wanted a girl._

Maya Normousbutt scrolled down to read the new comment on Annie Cresta's Wall, and saw that this comment was from Annie herself, and was received on November 30 at 18:02PM.

_'I'm a dog.'_

Maya Normousbutt blinked at that.

_'Pardon me?'_ Annie's delicious husband Finnick Odair sent in response, apparently just as lost as Maya Normousbutt was.

_'I'm a dog.'_ Annie sent again, as if its meaning was obvious.

Finnick Odair sent another response to that.

_'I'm sorry, love, I don't understand. Is there something you want to tell me by that?'_

Annie Cresta was growing impatient.

_'I'm a dog!'_

_'Yeah you are! 'sup, dawg? *wink wink*' _President Snow The Sexy Rooster sent to her smoothly.

Johanna Mason then joined the conversation to deliver a very important message to President Snow.

_'Shut it, Rooster.'_

Finnick Odair, Katniss Everdeen, Haymitch Abernathy, Peeta Mellark and Gale Hawthorne liked this comment.

Gale Hawthorne then sent the next comment.

_'Seriously, Annie. What do you mean, you're a dog?'_

Annie Cresta decided to finally explain.

_'There's this website that tells you which animal you were in your past life… turns out I used to be a dog in my past life.'_

Beetee, the strong believer that he was, sent the next comment.

_'There's no way it's true, Annie, dear. I've seen this website before. There's no way it can tell you what you were in your past life by simply knowing your full name.'_

Finnick Odair sent a quick reply to that.

_'Oh, come on Beetee, have a little more faith. If Annie believes it's true, then I believe it too.'_

_'Aww, that's so sweet Finni-'_ Primrose Everdeen started to write, but was magically stopped by Finnick Odair's very urgent comment.

_'WAIT, I USED TO BE A PIG?!'_

Finnick Odair, The Sex God of Panem and Beyond, was a pig in his past life?

Weird.

…but not totally unexpected.

Peeta Mellark was there for Finnick to support him in his tough time.

_'Hey, I'm a pig too! High five! :D'_

Johanna Mason sent the next comment.

_'I always told you you're a pig, Finnick. Finally, there's a proof for that.'_

Gale Hawthorne sent a quick reply.

_'Oh, shut up Johanna. According to this website, you were a cow.'_

SNORT!

It took Johanna Mason a few long minutes to think of a reply to that.

_'. . ._

_Someone should close this website.'_

Finnick Odair sent a quick reply.

_'I agree with Johanna. A pig, really… what a bunch of crap. A pig! _Me_? A _pig_? That's ridiculous.'_

Katniss Everdeen was the next one to comment.

_'Here's Finnick the raging pig, you'll stand in his way and he'll… stay big!'_

Another snort came from a very supportive Maya Normousbutt.

No one commented for a few long minutes, and then dear Annie Cresta sent a reply to Katniss's weird comment.

_'…what?'_

Katniss Everdeen replied quickly.

_'It's just a little song I made up.'_

Finnick Odair sent an honest reply.

_'Your songs suck.'_

Johanna Mason, Peeta Mellark, President Snow The Sexy Rooster, Beetee and Haymitch Abernathy liked this.

Peeta Mellark sent the next comment.

_'Katniss, I think we've already established that you're not the best in writing songs. I mean, the raging pig? You should've written something more… clever, like… the dancing elephant.'_

Foxface joined the conversation.

_'Or the jumping giraffe.'_

President Snow The Sexy Rooster decided to share his idea with everyone.

_'Or the running horse!'_

Foxface sent President Snow The Sexy Rooster a reply.

_'...no, no, that's… that's not good.'_

President Snow The Sexy Rooster:

_'Why not?_' President Snow The Sexy Rooster wrote.

Foxface decided to explain to him what was wrong with his lame clever-animal-doing-a-stupid-task.

_'You need to give the animal a task that it can't do. To make it more amusing, you know? That if you imagine it in your head, it looks so dumb it's actually funny. Like, giraffes can't jump, elephants can't dance, pigs… can't rage. You know, stuff like that.'_

President Snow The Sexy Rooster sent the next comment after a few seconds.

_'…alright, give me a second to think about that...'_

Out of boredom, Maya Normousbutt decided to check that animal website too, to feel a part of this discovering-who-we-were-before-we-were-born group. She filled the blanks with her first name and last name and waited until the results were in.

And, of course, the picture that was shown on the screen was the one of an elephant.

How great.

Checking to see if anyone wrote anything new on Annie's Wall, Maya Normousbutt saw that Haymitch Abernathy wrote something, which was obviously very important.

_'…I love beer…'_

Katniss Everdeen replied to that.

_'I don't care.'_

Haymitch Abernathy continued.

_'…especially apple beer…'_

_'I don't care.'_ Was Katniss's reply.

Haymitch Abernathy wasn't finished yet.

_'…made from real apples…'_

Katniss Everdeen sent another sweet comment.

_'Stop talking about your stupid beer, Haymitch, no one cares!'_

_'…beer…'_ Haymitch wrote dreamily.

_'Humph.'_ Was Katniss's reply to that.

Beetee decided to enlighten them all in that moment.

_'You know, Haymitch, that since apples are actually the ripened ovary of the plant, when you drink apple beer you actually drink ovaries?'_

Oh my.

Johanna Mason, Finnick Odair, Katniss Everdeen, President Snow The Sexy Rooster, Foxface, Gale Hawthorne and Peeta Mellark liked Beetee's comment.

Haymitch Abernathy obviously didn't like his comment.

_'o.O'_

Gale Hawthorne sent the next comment.

_'How nice! So, does drinking ovaries help you connect with your feminine side, Haymitch?'_

Haymitch Abernathy replied after a minute or so.

_'*burps* Oh yeah. I feel just like a woman.'_

_'The puking horse!_' President Snow The Sexy Rooster sent suddenly.

Annie Cresta replied to that when no one else did.

_'…what?'_

President Snow The Sexy Rooster explained in excitement.

_'That's the thing horses can't do! They're like rats, they can't puke! If you stick something into their throats, they won't be able to throw up and then they'll choke on it and die! It's amusing!'_

…wow.

Again, no one replied to that for a few long minutes, and then Finnick decided to break the ice.

_'. . ._

_Annie, block the Rooster. NOW.'_

* * *

><p><strong>So.<strong>

**I suck.**

**I suck big time.**

**It's hard to write when you're so damn tired, you know?**

**But I'm sorry for taking so long. I'm also sorry that this chapter is not funny or long. It's hard to write parody when you're sick, and I was so miserable when I wrote it and my throat hurt so bad and, well, it sucks.**

**Sorry.**

**But anyway, let's talk about this animal thingy – I checked a lot of the characters' past-life-animal on this website, (since we don't know some of the characters' last names I allowed myself to make up last names for them), and now I'm going to write here which animal those characters were in their past life.**

**Katniss Everdeen – Bear. I can actually picture her as a bear in past life. I don't know, it fits her character, I guess.**

**Gale Hawthorne – Lion. Basically, someone who sleeps all day and lets the female hunt while he's… well, sleeping. Doesn't fit Gale's character AT ALL.**

**Peeta Mellark – Pig. I'm not even going to laugh at him for being a pig, because, well, turns out I used to be a pig too. So we, the pigs, must stick together!**

**Effie Trinket – Horse.**

**Haymitch Abernathy – Dog. I can imagine Haymitch as a fat, old and sad-looking dog, but I think that he would've been better as a chimpanzee. But that's just my opinion.**

**Johanna Mason – Cow. Oh, Johanna… :)**

**Cato – Sheep. That's… pretty hilarious, actually. **

**President Snow – Dog. Because he's an awesome dawg, yo!**

**Annie Cresta – Dog. She should've been a cat or a fish in my opinion.**

**Finnick Odair – Pig. Just like me :) **

**Clove – Hyena. Well. The creepiest animal on this planet. I hate hyenas more than I hate bugs, and that says something.**

**Marvel – Cat. Should've been a rat though. **

**Beetee – Pig. So many pigs. We're like a big, disgusting family :)**

**Thresh – Mouse. So not Thresh.**

**Prim – Elephant. Yep, that's right – our dear Primrose Everdeen used to be an elephant. This website really doesn't make any sense.**

**And, ironically, Buttercup used to be a dog. **

**I think this AN is longer than the actual chapter, so I'm going to stop now. Please review (we're pretty close to 2,000 reviews!), have a lovely day (I really do mean that :D), and I'm going to go to bed now, 'couse my head is spinning and I'm so freaking cold. I hate being sick. Ugh.**


	33. Most Wonderful Time of the Month

**Most Wonderful Time of the Month**

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><p>Gale Hawthorne didn't like Facebook.<p>

Oh, he most definitely didn't.

Most of the time, he didn't even understand why he bothered with this site in the first place.

Just stupid. A real… boring… site.

And that's what Gale kept telling to himself as the fifth hour of him being in front of the computer and looking at pages at Facebook passed.

This site was just so useless, uneventful, and most of all –

"Oh wow, what is _that_?!"

Gale excitedly clicked on the Wolf Mutt that just befriended Jacob Black.

This Wolf Mutt was one of the Wolf Mutts that attacked Katniss in the end of the 74th Hunger Games. She fought them, risking her life in order to survive. So desperate, such a big danger… she could have died…!

…oh, and Cato and Peeta were there, too.

Gale read the profile of the mutt, not that there was a lot to read.

_**A Wolf Mutt's Profile Page**_

_Name: *RAWR*_

_Age: *RAWR*_

_Home: *RAWR*_

_Current location: *RAWR*_

_Interested in: *RAWR*_

_In a relationship: *RAWR*_

It was apparent that this wolf was not much of a talker.

As he continued looking at the wolf's profile, he noticed that this wolf had a new comment on its page, which was received on March 12th, at 14:39, by Catnip's ugly cat, Butercup.

_'*hiss!*'_

Buttercup was obviously not pleased with the doggy-mutt.

A few seconds later, Beetee sent a reply to Buttercup's angry hiss.

_'May I tell you, Buttercup, that you are a _very _sagacious cat?_'

Primrose Everdeen was quick to reply.

_'…are you making fun of my cat?'_

Gale didn't blame her for thinking that.

What the hell was sagacious?

Beetee sent a comment to clarify.

_'*laughs* Oh no, no, quite the opposite, my dear, less-intelligent girl! No, I was actually complementing him.'_

'*_it_.' Katniss Everdeen corrected him quickly.

Primrose Everdeen sent the next comment almost a second later.

_'I thought we were done with that, Katniss.'_

_'That cat_ _annoys_ _me greatly_.' Was Katniss's response.

Haymitch Abernathy then wrote the next comment.

_'*murmurs* you annoy me greatly…'_

Gale rolled his eyes. So immature and not clever.

Katniss Everdeen was quick to reply.

_'Oh, shut the f*ck up, Haymitch!'_

President Snow The Sexy Rooster then decided to join the conversation.

_'Someone's a bit cranky…'_

'*_less_-_than_-_impressed glare_*' Katniss sent as an explanation to what she did when she saw the comment.

Johanna Mason joined the conversation as well.

_'Bet it's her time of the month.'_

Gale raised an eyebrow, not quite getting what Johanna meant by that.

Peeta Mellark was, apparently, just as confused as he himself was.

_'Time of the month? Time for _what_?'_

Johanna Mason took her time to reply.

_'Oh, you know, that wonderful time every month when a girl bleeds from her private place.'_

Gale stared at the computer screen for a few agonizingly long seconds, then decided to write his exact thoughts on the matter.

_'Yuck.'_

He was pleased to see that Peeta Mellark, Cato The Sexy Buffalo, President Snow The Sexy Rooster, Haymitch Abernathy and Primrose Everdeen all liked his comment.

He was just clever like that.

Finnick Odair then joined the conversation.

_'Oh, come on, I bet it's not that bad. I saw the commercials, after all. All the girls that were on their period on those commercials looked pretty damn happy. You're probably just overreacting.'_

Katniss Everdeen sent the next comment.

_'No, you're right Finnick, those girls on the commercials portray exactly what every girl feels on her period. Even though most of the time I don't roll around in a bed of roses or perform yoga movements in the middle of a field, when that time of the month comes, I just feel compelled to do all of those things, because I just feel so damn _good_!'_

Peeta Mellark, apparently, didn't get the sarcasm in the comment.

_'Aw, that's nice to hear! Maybe on your next period, we'll do all of these things _together_!'_

Katniss Everdeen was really annoyed now.

_'I WAS BEING SARCASTIC, YOU UNSAGACIOUS GIT!'_

Finnick Odair still wasn't impressed.

_'Well, then maybe you should switch to 'Always' or something…? – I'm telling you, those girls on the commercial looked very free and fresh. They said that the 'Always' pad absorbs better than any other pad…'_

Annie Cresta decided to send a comment then.

_'Finnick, you need to stop watching girls on their period on commercials. This is getting unnerving.'_

_'Yes_ _dear_.' Finnick Odair wrote obediently.

Beetee sent the next comment.

_'Katniss, may I just say, very good use of the word _sagacious_ here in that insult!_'

_'Thanks_, _Beetee_. _I_ _try_.' Katniss wrote in response.

Cato The Sexy Buffalo sent then the exact same question that was on Gale's mind on an earlier stage in the conversation.

_'What the hell is sagacious?'_

Beetee sent a quick reply.

_'Ha. Well, of course _you _wouldn't know, you unsagacious boy.'_

Cato The Sexy Buffalo sent the next comment a few seconds later.

_'…okay, I'm going to search this word up.'_

President Snow The Sexy Rooster sent a comment right after Cato.

_'Hey, how bout we all go and watch a movie together? As a president I have some connections to very high places, so I bet we could even get a discount on the popcorn!'_

Tempting.

Haymitch Abernathy replied to that.

_'…depends. Which movie?'_

President Snow The Sexy Rooster sent the next comment.

_'Well, I thought we can decide when we get there. Though there's this new, very deep, very emotional and educating movie that I really wanted to see for some time now.'_

The offer was just getting more and more temping by the moment!

Annie Cresta sent a quick reply.

_'You mean, porn?'_

…didn't see that coming.

Finnick Odair replied quickly.

_'Annie_!'

Gale clicked the like button, and so did Peeta Mellark, Katniss Everdeen and President Snow The Sexy Rooster.

_'Count_ _me_ _in_!' Haymitch Abernathy declared the minute he read the word 'porn'.

Primrose Everdeen then sent a comment as well.

_'Katniss, what is porn?'_

Gale snorted. Facebook was not a safe place for the innocent mind.

Katniss Everdeen replied after a few long seconds of figuring out what to say.

_'…_

_For God's sake, control your woman, Odair!'_

Finnick Odair wrote a comment.

_'Where did you hear this word from, Annie?'_

Annie Cresta replied innocently.

_'Johanna told me about it. '_

Gale rolled his eyes and wrote a reply.

_'Of course she did.'_

Gale was again pleased when he saw that Finnick Odair, Peeta Mellark, Katniss Everdeen, Haymitch Abernathy and President Snow The Sexy Rooster liked this comment.

Man, he was on fire!

Annie Cresta sent the next comment.

_'Yeah. She told me it's her favorite type of movie. That it's easy to connect to the characters and know what they're going through, the storyline isn't very hard to follow, the sounds and face expressions that the characters make makes the whole experience of watching the movie look very realistic, and that although there are sometimes some obstacles, like falling wood or too-small holes, there's always this sense of relief in the end that wash both the characters and the watcher.'_

It took a few long seconds for Finnick to send a reply to that.

_'…Johanna, stay away from Annie.'_

Johanna Mason was outraged by that demand.

_'What! Why?'_

_'You're ruining_ _her_!' Finnick replied hotly.

Johanna Mason sent a quick reply.

_'Oh, don't look at it in such a negative light. Look at it as… educating her.'_

Just as Gale was starting to write another extremely-well-thought-out comment for Johanna's reply, Cato changed the subject after his search on the internet.

_'Sagacious is clever?!'_

_'So you've found the word then.' _Beetee sent_._

Cato The Sexy Buffalo replied quickly.

_'Damn right I did. And let me tell you, I am not not-clever!'_

…

What a stupid guy.

President Snow The Sexy Rooster, apparently, didn't agree with Gale.

_'That's right, yo!'_

_'Shut up Rooster_.' Cato The Sexy Buffalo wrote.

Beetee sent the next comment.

_'I have to agree with Cato on this one, President Snow. To be completely honest with you, the way you try to fit in with God knows which age group is quite atrocious.'_

Gale looked at the word _'atrocious' _for a few long minutes. No one wrote anything for the time he stared at the word, so he guessed everyone stared at that word in stupidity, too.

Beetee decided then to send another comment, after figuring no one else would.

_'…I bet you don't even know what atrocious is.'_

_'Not_ _in the slightest_ _;)_' President Snow The Sexy Rooster wrote happily, not caring.

_'I hate_ _smart people_.' Cato The Sexy Buffalo declared bitterly.

_'You mean, _sagacious _people?'_

And all Cato The Sexy Buffalo could write after Beetee's annoying reply was just, '*_facepalm_*'

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><p><strong>HOLY CRAP WE'RE OVER 2,000 REVIEWS! INSANE!<strong>

**But anyways…**

**It's been a while.**

**Can't apologize enough for the long wait, so I'm not even going to try. Just know that I'm sorry for not updating for so freaking long.**

**Alright, so! Let's start with something about the last chapter – a lot of you asked me to give you the link to that site, where the characters learned which animal they were in their past lives. So here's the link:**

**w-w-w-.-2-o-n-.-c-o-m-/-e-n-/**

**Just delete the hyphens :)**

**And, about this chapter – before you tell me that you're younger than Annie and Prim and you know what porn is so how can they not know what it is, let's remember that they come from districts with no TV, obviously no porn, and from a world completely different from ours. So, in my opinion, they really shouldn't know what porn is.**

**And about the sagacious + atrocious: well, since my first language is not English, I have no idea if people who speak English actually use those words, or if they're even difficult words that people don't normally know. I just know that those words are not common at all _here_, and I always search up difficult words in English on the internet to tell my friends (Gosh, I'm such a nerd). That's a very sad, but very real, hobby of mine. And atrocious and sagacious are two of the words that I found on the internet and never heard before.**

**SO! Hope you all have a lovely holiday (at least, I guess you're all having a holiday right now. I now celebrate Passover, so… pretty exciting. Am going to eat plenty of Matzahs, and probably die from being over-fed. Gotta love the holidays), and we see when I next update, cuz I'm not going to make any promises cuz I'm lazy.**

**And thanks for reading :)**


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